I walked in, drenched from head to toe, and tired. I guess living in Florida has a way of shocking you. Sunny one minute, pouring down rain the next. I hear a loud crash in the kitchen.
"Dang it!!!" yelled michale.
I ran in, hitting him with the door in the process, only to find shattered glass... In my foot.
"I'm so sorry" I laughed, watching him as his eyes watered collapsing into a giggling pile on the floor.
Cali ran in, crying.
"I thought you were gone too!" she whimpered , running me over.
"Glass!" I yelled, trying to keep her from cutting her foot as I had.
"Oh thats where the blood is coming from" said Michale, gently touching my foot as he looked at the deep gash in the arch of it.
"I had the dream again" said Cali, trying not to stare at my foot.
"I'm okay baby" I whispered to cali, trying not to jerk as he pulled glass shards out of my foot.
"I had put cali to bed and made dinner thinking maybe we could finaly have a quiet night." he chuckled, realizing how foolish that idea had been. We hadn't had a quiet night in a while.
After "fixing me up" as he put it; Micheal took a shower, trying to clean up before work.
"Bye chicadee" he said, kissing me softly.
"Be safe love" I said back, smiling at my man in blue.
I think i have enough tine to write in my journal before Cali's done with her bath, part of our "grief plan" set my counselor, the courts "suggested" (aka manditory) class to show that i am capable of raising Cali. Or as the shrink puts it, a way of "talking about my feelings..." never been my strong suit.
2/2/13
Its easier today, I haven't cried in three days, which at this point is an accomplishment. Cali's gonna have a hard time going back to school. Im glad Michael has been here to help her. After our dads... Accident, she hasn't had a solid male figure besides him. Me and Cali both still get nightmares, but hers are getting less frequent. Mine, less vivid. I still don't understand why it had to happen that way, but I know I want to raise her now. Michale wants to move in, to make things easier, but I know what Cali and I need is space. She still comes in and sleeps with me most nights... I still check to see if shes still breathing. I never say it, but I'm always glad when she "sneaks" into my bed, kicking me in the head half the time, and whispering "This much." to me. I remember the last time my mom whispered that to me. Six months has changed us all. I went from an eighteen year old, visiting my family during a break from college to a "legal guardian" to my little sister. At six, she is still a bit small, but mom was the same way. I guess thats why-
"Sissy!" yelled Cali, interupting my thought. I bolted up, running in to see what was happening.
