Okay, he may be a cop, but to be fair, he was a bit... Unruly after we broke up. He was good because he loved me, but i made him really mad when we broke up, and... When michale gets mad at me, he doesnt show it often.
Sure, he yells like any other man, but his mom raised him well. He almost never said a hurtful word to me (besides when we broke up) and yells at others...and he sort of... Had more fun than i would have suggested.
Drinking, partying, fights, the whole 9 yards. He went from altar boy to border line juvy. It took him six months to go back to the old michale, but he learned to live a little. I guess thats why were flying at 80 down a back road... And why im sitting on the windows edge sticking half my body outside the car... Hey, we have fun.
"get back in" he hollered over the wind outside.
This was the fifth time he had asked, so i finaly relented.
"slow down then" i replied, in that childlike voice he hated. Sometimes i had to be annoying, thats what girlfriends do.
"i swear, minney i will... Ugh i dont know what ill do. But it won't be good" he threatened.
"haha what are you gonna do big tough man?" i tormented, knowing eventually he would give in.
He paused, stroking his real beard (a fine beard, i must say, haha) and finally seemed to come to a conclusion.
"i wont kiss u" he said, sticking his tounge out at me like a five year old.
I would be mad at him if he werent to fricken cute.
"im not gonna cook for u" i replied with a smile of satisfaction. He cant cook. That diner he tried to make? Macaroni. He is really a giant child... A very attractive one with a perfect smile and face and... What was the point? Oh yeah, hes helpless in the kitchen.
"im sorry baby, ill give you lots of kisses, and chocolate" he paniced, knowing he couldnt live off chinese food and keep his body.
I giggled at his reply, knowing he would never withhold kisses, not even if we were broken up. Learned that the hard way. But thats a story for another time.
"i promise to cook for you, if you stop and give me fifteen dollars for the store so we can get food." i said, trying to hint that i was hungry.
"i thought twas a date, we were on, m'lady"
He said, pretending to be my prince again.
"so it is" i said back in an english voice (although all of my voices sound a bit like leprechauns.)
"Then i will treat you to a proper date" he said with a wink.
Ugh his eyes are just so perfect. Green with a ring of blue right before the pupil. I could stare at them forever.
"TO MARLOW'S" he shouted, pushing harder on the pedal. He had slowed to 50 at that point, and was now at 75.
"baby, if we get pulled over, what are you gonna do?" i asked, trying to make him slow down. To no avail, i might add.
"I'll just smile and flirt like the other girls do" he said in his "girl voice"flipping his imaginary hair.
"uh... Okay, whatever you say" i said, knowing he would actually strike up a conversation and simply get on the cop's good side... Hopefully.
We got to Marlows 7 minutes later, and the weather was high 80s and beautiful.
As we walked in, hand in hand, i noticed jason in the back corner... I didnt know he was back in town. When i saw him, my heart skipped a beat.
I dated james after michale, knowing it would go nowhere. But when i caught him cheating, things got got ugly. Then michale and him exchanged words... And fists... Michale won.
We hadnt talked in a long time, but he kept his word. He protected and loved me through it.
James was an okay boyfriend, i guess. Things were just more intense with him.
I guess i went through a bad boy phase with him. Drinking, partying, and anything fun. We never had sex, but he deffinately made it known he wanted to.
Whenever i told him no, he would get all mad or sad, trying to make me feel guilty enough to say yes.
But he was so intense. So real, he was sweet and crazy he made me laugh.
He was the oppisite of michale though. James was the bad crazy. The kind that liked to talk with his fists. I guess i should have seen it coming. When i asked him what he had done last night, he expressed his anger with a hard right hook, followed by a few rib shots.
My lawyer said it was better to go with michale's assult charges, due to my dad being on the force. He said it could be "misconstrued as a conflict of interest."
funny thing is, when i saw him, i got butterflies. Not like i get with michale, but they were deffinately there.
As soon as michale saw him, his grip tightened, although i dont think he knew it had.
"lets leave" he whispered in a husky tone. I could see his face getting red with anger, but i couldnt just leave.
"im not letting that bother me." i replied firmly, knowing michale would stay if i wanted.
"i dont want you near him" he whispered through cleanched teeth, getting more mad as he stared.
"you're my big strong protector" i said, patronizing a bit.
"i know he won't touch me as long as your hear, so why let him continue to rule my life?" i asked, trying to sound convicted, although secretly, i just... I wanted to see him.
I know, i know, its wrong and stupid and crazy, and did i say wrong? But... I miss the good parts of him. The things that michale doesnt have. The way jason used to look at me when he was drunk, it felt good to be noticed by him. He was new and exciting. His rebel side. Thats what it was, i guess. Nothing like michales, michale's rebel side is small, it comes out to play, then disappears. Jasons though, i never knew what was next.
But i was happy now, right?
"okay" michale relented, trying to calm down.
We sat down at the other side of the restaurant.
Everyone assumed the assult charges were from michale, so to everyone else, he was just a good ole boy who had lost his way.
And somehow, i cant help but agree. He was drunk when it happened. Crappy excuse, i know, but its something.
We ordered, and as we ate, michale put his hand on my leg, scaring me.
Jason was coming over, and michale didnt like it... At all.
"can we talk?" jason asked sheepishly, trying to avoid eye contact with michale.
"why the hell would she ever talk to you again after what happened? I swear to god if you-" i cut him off.
"im okay" i whispered in his ear.
"outside" i said to jason, getting up.
As we walked out, i knew he noticed me. But something was different. I didnt feel sexy, i felt beautiful. Not craved, but longed for. He noticed me as more than a means of sex. Wow.
"i dont expect you to forgive me, it is hard to live with myself for what i have done, and i know i have hurt you more than words can say. I just wanted you to know, i am a changed man. I am redeemed" he said, almost in a whisper.
" i would really love to try to help you in any way i can" he said quietly, nervous about what i would say.
I stayed quiet.
"i was taking steriods at the time" he said, trying to fill the silence.
"i know thats no excuse either, but i want you to know i never meant to hurt you. Not while i was clear minded."
"i know" i whispered hoarsely, trying not to cry.
"im so sorry about your mama" he said in his thick texan accent.
"...thank you" i answered, with a serious lack of confidence.
He got closer to me... Is he hugging me???
"GET THE HELL OFF HER" michale yelled as he ran out. He looked crazy... This isnt what i wanted at all.
"its okay, baby, baby its okay!!!!" i yelled, trying to get his attention as i stood inbetween them. He looked right over me, straight at jason.
They were about the same height, and build. But jason was had jet black hair, no tattoos... Or no visible tattoos(he had one of my initials on his upper thigh)and was a bit more clean cut.
Somehow michale looked more like a convict than jason.
It would have been comical if michale wasnt so angry.
"Im okay, see?" i said to him, trying to calm him down.
"he wont be when this is over" michale said, trying to lunge.
"baby, stop. It wont help me if you hit him. Everyone will know who started the fight, and i dont want you to get in trouble.
Besides, he says he's changed." i paused.
"i wont hold his mistakes against him.
His drunken, roid rage filled mistakes. He wont hurt me anymore. I wont let him, and hes not stupid enough."
Finally michale looked at me.
"roid rage?" he asked, confused.
"he was taking them at the time."
We all paused.
It was only now that i realised how awkward this must look, jason standing awkwardly, me trying to hold michale back, michale staring at him...
"keep your damn hands off her" he said in a quiet tone, backing off a bit.
"i wouldnt do it again, and if i could change it, i would. But im sober. I just knew i had to say i was sorry."
I walked over and hugged him. Stupid, stupid, i know. But this was a man trying to change. I could see that. And though i will always remember what happened, i cant just expect him to pick up and leave all of his life.
I heard the door to the diner close, and realised michale had stormed inside... Great, im in the dog house.
"im sorry, i didnt mean to cause no tension between you two." he said, looking guilty.
"its okay" i lied, knowing tonight would be a fight. "your trying to change, and honestly, it isnt the worst thats happened. We were friends, then more, and you lost your temper. And i got michale out of it. Counseling has helped. Im okay now." i smiled, feeling those butterflies again.
"id better go though. Its gonna be a long night."
"see ya around" he hollered on his way to his truck. He sounded the same as he had on our first date.
Some things never change.
I walked back into the diner, and saw michale wasnt in out booth.
I looked at marlow, and she pointed to the mens room.
There was nobody else in the diner, so i went in and saw him hitting the blue tile wall. It was turning purple with blood.
I locked the door and slowly grabbed his hand.
He glared at me.
"whu dont you go out with your boyfriend?" he asked condescendingly.
"because hes right here" i said, trying to sound calm.
"that guy? He beat you. YOU DEFENDED HIM! Why cant you see he is only gonna do it to someone else?" he said/yelled, angrier than i had seen him in a while.
"because i see a man trying to change, and i remember not to long ago, there was a guy who asked me to help him change." i said quietly, referring to when he wanted me to help him with partying.
"you weren't to far gone, and niether is he. Please baby, just... Stop hitting the wall, stop blaming yourself. Its not your fault he hit me, or mine, its his. He made a MISTAKE. You and i have both made so many, so forgive yourself. And him."
He finaly looked at me, trying not to cry.
"im sorry" he said, burrying his face in my neck as he cried.
I took his hand, looking at the blood. I ran luke warm water over tha gashes in his hand, and he somehow refused to flinch.
After it was rinsed clean, we walked out and i payed the tab.
On our way home, i stopped and grabbed some gauze and bandage tape.
"does it hurt?" i asked, trying not to sound to wifely.
"a little, not much" he said quietly. He had been quiet all the way home.
I kissed him, just a peck, but he pulled me in and kissed me, giving me that forrest fire as he did it.
"Im sorry baby" he whispered, trying to focus on me.
I could tell he was hurting, so i got up.
"where are you going?" he asked, sounding as needy as cali.
"to get you something that will get the pain off your mind" i called, not looking back.
I rummaged through the medecine cabinet, looking for Tylenol and sleeping pills. After almost five minutes i found them, not in the cabinet, but under the sink. As i stood up from crouching, i saw him leaning on the doorframe, staring at me.
"how'd i get so lucky?" he asked, smiling as he walked over to kiss me.
"well" i said, getting.ready to be sarcastic, when he wrapped his arns around my waist and whispered "thank you for staying."
"even if you hate me or i hate you, i will always love and protect you the best i can babe" i said, smiling at me.
"i have never been happier than i am right now. I love you so much." he said.
He was acting kinda weird. I think he felt bad about the wall... And jason... And the fight. It was a smaller fight than i had anticipated... Much smaller.
I gave him his pills, and walked him into my room, tucking him in.
"cuddle with me?" he begged, the drugs already taking affect.
"okay, just scoot over butt head!" i laughed, looking at the room he had "saved" for me.
I crawled into bed, snuggling up beside him. I could smell his cologne, and i felt safe. We both fell asleep.
"beep beep beep" his clock sounded, letting us know cali was almost done.
I hit the button fast, trying to let him sleep.
He stirred, but stayed asleep.
Mission accomplished. I tiptoed into the kitchen, when i fell... I heard him yell. Mission failed.
He ran in, shirtless, panicked.
"I guess training does a body good." i whispered, just loud enough for him to hear.
"almost as good as mechanics" he joked, pulling me close. My first day until now had consisted of mostly Heavy lifting. They were making sure i could keep up. I respected that. I passed, now they were making sure i was qualified. Which i am, but they need proof. Especially being a woman.
"I need to go pick up cali." i said, slightly disappointed. Would he just ask me to marry him already??? Okay, calm down. Its only been six months. But dang, do we feel differently about eachother? No, he loves me. No question. I wish he would just ask.
"go ahead" he whispered in my ear, making me giggle from the.tickle of his beard.
He makes things so hard.
"you got dinner tonight?" i asked, hoping he would get the hint that i wanted junk food.
"chinese it is!" he hollered, grabbing the phone to order.
Food!!!
"I'll be right back!"
I yelled, grabbing my coat and running out the door.
How could i live without him?
