So, as if i hadnt had a hard time leaving before, now, i thought i might die. Jason was walking to the door as i left.
"your phone" he said, looking guilty.
"you left it and... And i wanted to see you, so." he stared at his feet, waiting for me to take my phone.
"i uh... I..." i paused, wondering why i felt so nervous. I wasnt the one who had beat up my girlfriend, i was the one he wanted forgiveness from... Okay, still a bit emotional, but not over the... "Altercation.'
More over how he made me feel. Things had started to return to normal when mr. Ex/abuser/hot.... I didnt just think that. No. Not jason. Not now, or ever again.
"thanks, i have to go pick up cali." i replied, trying to blow it off.
"ill drive you!" he offerd, a bit to quickly.
"i dont think thats a good idea. Michale doesnt like you, and if he knew cali and i got a ride with you, there'd be hell to pay... For us both" i mumbled the last part, but i could tell he heard it.
"oh... Since when does the independent nicole james let a man boss her around?" he asked, trying to be playful... To soon.
"when he was there for me, helped me on my feet, and put my needs above his own. When he loomed at me and cali and treated her as his own sister... Or his own daughter. Thats when." i replied a little to seriously.
"... I thought we were okay?" he said, obviously hurt.
"im... Im so sorry. Im stressed and no, were not okay. Maybe we will be later, but i have a boyfriend who hates you, a sister who is unaware of your existence besided "that guy who hurt micky" and im a girl who cant figure out what to do... I have to go, sorry. Bye."
"Can we talk? Later?" he asked, hopeful that i would say yes.
My stomach dropped. Be angry, frustrated, happy, crazy, anything but sorrowful and begging. Yell or scream or throw something. Dont just stand there with that half smile that gets me every time, with your hands in your pockets and ur black hair in your eyes. Be the old you. I could hate the old you.
"what are you doing hear???" michale screamed, making his way down the porch steps.
"uhh.... I just... He just... Phone" i sputtered, the way i do when im nervous.
"i just found her phone and brought it back. I swear."
"Get off my property before i have to remove you... And trust me, i want to"
He said angrily, glaring at him.
"not trying to over step. I know, i lost her a long time ago. You may not deserve her, but who does? I get it. You guys are happy. I was just trying to do the right thing.
See you around, mickey" he said, shoving his hands deeper into his pockets as he walked away, glancing at me one last time.
"I'll go grab cali" michale said, obviously mad at me.
"I thought you were gonna be okay atleast a little!" i yelled.
"I forgave you, not him. I love you, not him. Im keeping my temper in check, okay? So just leave me alone for five seconds!" he exploded, mad at me for talking to him.
"go home." i said, angry but trying not to seem like I cared.
"it would be one thing if you had just left it at that, but obviously you need space. Go get some. Your not welcome here for tonight." i said, feeling hurt.
"i didnt mean it, im sorry" he whispered, trying to hug me.
"if you're still here when i get back, me and cali are gonna sleep at markis's place"
Markis was my good friend/ex from a loooooong time ago. He had a girlfriend, but michale didnt need to know that.
"i just..." he stuttered, looking ashamed,
"i just said it without thinking."
"Bye michale" i said, getting into my chevy.
"i love you" he whispered, hardly audible.
I pretended not to hear. Horrible, i know, but he needed to losen his grip. He blows up occasionally, but if i was right, he got mean. I guess thats What this was.
He can think on that tonight alone.
The last thing i had said to my mom before that night, was that she never listened to me. She never cared. She smothered me.
Now in.careful with those i love. But man am i angry.
"minney!!!" cali shouted from the playground, running to me and jumping into my arms.
"my teacher is awesome. He is funny and nice and has brown eyes and-"
"does someone have a crush?" i whispered, teasing her.
"NO!" she yelled, blushing.
"I would love to meet him" i smiled, truly intrested in who ever was making her happy.
I walked in and saw seahawks poaters everywhere... A fellow seahawk fan???
I love all of them.
"hello" a deep, smooth voice called from the back of the room.
"thats him" cali whispered as i turned around.
A man no older than 25 came over and shook my hand, smiling as he asked in an amusing tone meant only for young children, "and who might this be?" he asked cali, smiling as he looked at me.
"this is my sissy nicole, but you can call her micky" she replied with a smile, knowing she was the only one (besides michale) who could call me minny.
"ah," he said with a smile, looking at me as if he knew exactly what our situation was.
"May i speak with you privately?" He asked in a tone i couldnt say no to.
"of course, cali, go play outside. Ill be there in a minute" i said patiently, watching as her eyes lit up at the chance to play more. "really?" she asked excitedly.
"yeah, go ahead baby" i saif back gently, knowing where this was going.
"it says on Cali's file she has no permanent legal guardian, correct?" he asked, not quite accusingly.
"yes, we are going through counseling separately to show the courts i am ready for her." i responded, suprised at how easy it was to talk to him.
"well, i just wanted to clear that up quickly with you before i asked you something." he said smoothly...
Okay so maybe i was slightly unaware of where this was going.
"would you like to go on a date with me?" he asked with a confident smile.
I hesitated.
"i would love to, now more than ever, but #1 your Cali's teacher, and #2 i am involved with a man."
"'uncle michale' i presume?" he replied, chuckling.
"correct" i said with a sigh of relief.
"i had figured as much, but thought it was worth a try." he said with an easy going smile.
"well id better go home, my man awaits" i said with a laugh.
"you have a great girl there" he laughed, "quite a bit like you in her eyes" he smiled, looking at me.
"shes amazing" i replied, pausing to loom back before i left.
Time to go to my empty home... Just me and her, looks like im getting no sleep tonight.
