IN TWENTY ONE DAYS

50; SUITORS?

ABUJA, NIGERIA.

"You called for me?" Bushra asked her parents as soon as she entered their room that blessed afternoon. She was hopelessly lying on the bed with no direction or future whatsoever when a call came through her intercom that her parents want to see her in their room so she hastily made her way there thinking it might be something urgent. Looking at their relaxed poses though, she is not so sure anymore, it's something else.

"Yes, your father and I want to talk to you about something really crucial." Her mother removed her medicated glasses and stare at her husband searchingly while Bushra on the other hand is trying her best not to reply sarcastically when she said 'talking about something' it's obvious they are going to talk about something!

"Oh, okay." She stare at the both of them and for some odd reasons, her heart is hammering fast in her chest. Her eyeballs are roaming around the duo, trying to see from their reaction what they want to talk about but to no avail. They are her parents after all, good at masking their emotions and facial expressions.

"Your father feels that it's best if you get married along with your brothers in two months time. There is no use waiting around for something that will never come and besides, you are not doing iddah (woman's prescribed waiting period after divorce or widowhood) or anything like that so you should move on and get a grip on your life. I don't want to watch you pouring away half your life by staring at the walls in your room. You have so many suitors already, all of them are from respectful families with good background. Ask one of then to show himself if he is really ready to be with you. Don't forget, two months." Her body shook hearing her father go on and on about her getting remarried.

Yes, there are a lot of suitors lining outside their home almost all the time wanting to talk to her, all of them are responsible like her father had said. But, she don't want to get married at all, she wants live with her parents and her daughter, that is enough for her. She feels like marriage is not for her anymore, not after what she has been through with Mika'il, it was too tragic for her to even think about it again. How can she cope with marrying other man now? Hasn't Mika'il ruined her already? Do they want her to be unrecognizable after another trauma?

But then again, she won't ever let her heart fall in love, it is already with a dead man anyway, she won't have to worry. All she needs to do now is focus on what her parents want and for the betterment of her daughter who strongly needs a father figure right now more than ever. Which will make the decision of choosing a husband harder than it already is. Most men want her, not her daughter for she is sure some of them don't know about her having a daughter with her former dead husband. She won't let anyone take her daughter from her, not after losing her husband, she won't let anyone take the other piece she has with him.

Oh, how she badly wants to hate Mika'il but can't, she wants to loath him but her heart is telling her another story all the time. So she stopped thinking about him all together, he won't stop meandering to her thoughts every now and then, especially when she is with some other men. She keep comparing each man to Mika'il as if it was going to solve her situation or make things any better. It does the exact opposite actually, it messes with her head and makes it ache.

Some of the men are married too, she has already banned them from the list of men she will ever marry, never. She felt what it feels to have a co-wife, she won't want any fellow woman to suffer through all that, hers is enough. Though being the only one who strongly believes that she won't marry a married one won't stop others from doing it, she still don't want to ruin even a life. The jealousy and enviousness is real, it surges through your vein like molten lava. How can she let any other woman out there endure that because of her? She won't, that is it.