The Heart wants what it wants🎵

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Chapter

The car crunched over golden leaves on the pavement as it entered the mansion gates.

Rose stared out of the window. Her eyes dreamy and feverish with doubts and her lips parted lightly as she observed nothing.

Her mind was mess of screams and memories. Memories of her mom being lowered in the grave, of her dad looking at her with distaste, of Eric's filthy smirk and Amy's slaps. Every picture a blur of the other.

The calm expression she wore did not match the terrors of her mind. She was way too accustomed to pain than doubt. Her fears were unknown.

It wasn't like she had expected honesty in the first place, but the idea of not knowing the person she had been living with terrified her. Was Jacob out of his mind? What if he wasn't? What would she do if everything thing he said was right?

She had seen murderous rage in his eyes and brute pain in his words.

That tiny voice at the back of her head was louder today, 'Just wait till he gets sick of you' it chimed feverishly. 'Wait till he starts to see your scars as ugly insects' 'Wait till he throws you away like an old toy.. just wait' the voice wailed and broke but sang the words like an old love song, shrieking at the notes and crying at the edges.

A servant came and opened her car door. She took no notice of him. She was way too engrossed in trying not to drink the worst theories her mind poured to her.

All his sweet words, the genuine concern and the boyish laugh, how could it all belong to a monster?

She wanted to cry, perhaps needed to but her eyes were empty. Those damn tears that always found their way to her eyes in the silliest situations, refused her.

The servant nervously called, "Ma'am?"

She still looked right through him at the infinite miles over the horizon.

The servant ran into the house and called for Jasmine who was dusting the sofas, she hurried down the marble façade to the car. She took Rosette's hand in her and called her, "Madame Rosette!" she squeezed her hand but got no response.

Her eyes were distant as if wandering in a brutal land far away, Jasmine started panicking, she grabbed ahold of her shoulders and shook her, "Madame, can you hear me!" Rose barely batted an eye.

"Hurry and call sir." Jasmine told the servant who wasted no time and ran inside.

Jasmine kept shaking her and calling her name in vain. Her eyes suddenly landed on the bottle of water at Rose's side. She opened the cap and splashed the water on her face.

Rose gasped, the impact of cold water snapped her out of her imagination. Her eyes lost their dazed focus and started squinting. The servant was back with Caelum whose eyebrows were knitted with concern.

Jasmine stepped out of the way as Caelum came ahead and leaned in reaching for her trembling fingers. Her hands were beyond cold. Her breathing was uneven, her skin kept flushing further and her body trembled. Her eyes kept searching around her.

She did not recall coming here, it was like she had been in a daze all along.

He clasped his hand over hers, "Shift over." He said as he got in and shut the door behind him gesturing the driver to leave.

He sat her in his lap and wrapped his arms around her protectively, resting her head on his chest.

"Shhh.. breathe." He whispered, rocking her gently back and forth and stroking her hair.

"I-I-I cant stop i-it.." she panted, "I-i-I'm sorry b-but I c-cant." Fisting his shirt in her hands to stop her trembling.

"It's okay, It's all okay. Just breathe. Breathe." He whispered softly into her ears pressing his lips on her head, "You don't have to be sorry for anything.... I've got you. I'm right here."

She clenched his shirt tighter in response.

"Count with me Rose. Okay?" he asked gently.

"one" he started.

"T-two" she stuttered.

"Good. Three. Now with me Rose." He said.

"Four." They said together... .

He felt warn and familiar. He felt solid and safe. She wanted to cling to his shirt and bury her face into the warm curve of his neck and never let go.

"Ten" they finished together.

Rosette's panting had ceased but her body still trembled lightly. Caelum gently pulled her away and met her eyes.

His own worried, as he tucked a strand of wet hair behind her ear.

"Something happened at the hospital?" he asked cautiously.

Rose hesitated. She wanted to hear him deny it, she wanted to hear him say all those things was just a bunch of bull shit but she was afraid. "No" she said.

She felt like coward of the fact that she was afraid of hearing a yes. Afraid that this warmth she felt in her chest everytime they touched would disappear. Afraid that she would be deprived of the one thing that felt so right.

Caelum pursed his lips, "Then what triggered this attack?" he asked.

"I saw someone who looked like Eric." She lied.

The only thing Eric ever taught her was how to create the most acceptable lies in the most fragile situations.

Caelum clenched his jaw, "I wish I could kill that bastard." He mumbled under his breadth but loud enough for her to hear.

"Would you kill him?" she asked, The problem was that she should've been scared of those words but she wasn't.

"I would've, but you wont be able to live with that." he said pulling her back to his chest.

"Am I weak?" she asked.

He huffed a laugh, "Weak, you ask?" he whispered, nudging his nose in her lavender scented hair, "You've known sadness, and it made you kind. That alone makes you a warrior, but just know, you will not be fighting your wars alone anymore."

Something, somewhere clicked and she realized he too had a story to tell, demons to face and hand to be held, for only a person who knew pain would know how to say those words. Someone who had also tasted pain and had not swallowed it, but spat it out with venom and hatred.

Her wide open eyes streamed down tears. Tears of acceptance. Tears of the relief that came after you give in to destruction. Tears of knowing her heart was no more hers.

'When is a monster not a monster?' her mind asked

'When you love him.' her heart whispered.

...........................

Hey guys,

THERE IS ALOT GOING ON RN SO IF I MAKE LATE UPDATES OR MASS UPDATES PLZ DONT BE PISSED.. I'M TRYING MY BEST TO KEEP IN CHECK SO TOLERATE ME A LITTLE PLEASE.

REMINDER: I LOVE YOU GUYS, THINGS MAY SEEM BAD BUT THEY SURE WILL PASS. STAY STRONG. I'M PROUD OF YOU FOR MAKING IT OUT.

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