Through The Eyes Of

Strategic Planning

Axl

Obviously we had to have a serious fucking band meeting. So we had it at the rehearsal space since the cops were no longer hot on our trail. And for once, wouldnt you know we all showed up around the same time? I was seated next to Izzy on the corner of his Marshall half stack. Duff and Slash sat in silence on the couch not looking at anyone, not even themselves. Steven was fucking off with his drumsticks.

Izzy looks to me and gives me a dreaded sigh deciding to end this uncomfortable silence in here. The air was so thick I couldn't fucking breathe. "Look, we all know what the fucking score is here, right?" He begins. "Every one of us has ate shit for this band. Weve done shit that's fucked up our heads, and hurt the people we love." He pauses with a long sigh and curious furrowed brows, "But why didnt we ever stop? We never considered giving up. And now finally here we are being offered record deals. It's that big break we've dreamed of, what we've bled for."

I quickly butt in finding my voice. "The real question is it worth it to all of us to keep persuing it?" I look at Izzy with pain in my eyes, "Was it worth all the times we had to watcheachother suck off strange guys while watching the love of your life get fucked by someone else?" Izzy's eyes flutter and look down. Then I look at Duff. "Was it worth the pain I caused you Duff? The horrible experience you had with those guys, me fucking the person who loves you more than anything?I will never be able to tell you how sorry I am Duff" Then my attention turns to Slash, "Was it worth the degredation? The remourse. Its you they want. You and you alone. If I could fucking change that shit I would. The real question here kid is...how far are you willing to go for this band?"

Izzy looks sincerely at Slash. " And no one would blame you if you say fuck this band. Axl and I have wanted to throw in the towel so many fucking times. It's ok to say no."

Slash sighs deeply and just stares at the floor. "This is all I ever fucking wanted to," he says softly, "the only thing I know how to do. I can't go back to being a nobody. Axl and Izzy, you guys have worked harder than any of us for this. It's your determination that got us this far. And Duff baby, I know this is what you want too, maybe not at the cost...but this is our dream guys. You think I can let you guys down like that?"

No one utters a fucking peep. Izzy just looks down in shame again. A tear rolls down Duff's cheek. And Steven nervously taps his drumsticks at his thighs. Not a one of us wanted the kid to do it. Why did it have to be him?

Slash looks to Izzy, "Izz, set up the deal."

Izzy nods without ever looking up. I see another tear fall down Duffs cheek and a small noise escapes him.

Slash turns to him and wipes them away, "Baby, I promised I wouldn't do smack again...but" his words trail off as Izzy's eyes pop up at them.

Duff nods, "Baby I understand."

Izzy's eyes meet mine looking concerned that our prediction might be coming true.

"Just for those meetings," Slash adds.

Duff sighs with a nod and drawls from the Vodka bottle in his hand.

"Hey Kid," Izzy says looking at him with creased brows as he lights himself a cigarette, lets play this shit to our advantage."

"What do you mean? Slash shrugs. But I think I know what my dark angel might be thinking.

"Well what they want is you, right?"

Slash shrugs.

"Well no body says you have to be the 20 dollar hooker. Be the fucking 5000 dollar call girl," he exhales.

"I don't follow," Slash states.

"Hookers don't work for free kid. Promises of record deals are like fucking green stamps. You've got all the cards kid. Make requests. Like a sit down dinner with the band; maybe some new instruments, some spending cash, backstage passes to kickass shows. They want you; they'll do it because of that."