Through The Eyes Of

A Price to be Paid

Slash

Every part of my body feels so heavy; my legs and arms are lead weights that I have to heave around, my head itself must weigh 100lbs, and my eyelids, fuck those things feel like they have bricks attached to them weighing them down. I lean back into the seat and do my best not to fall asleep. Mike and Dave, the two guys from Virgin are supposedly taking me down to Guitar Center to check out some new equipment. Yeah right; more like they're going to check out my equipment. The booze and the smack must be
doing their job and numbing me because that thought doesn't even cause a flicker of emotion from me. An hour ago the same thought had me sobbing into Duff's chest.

Izzy told me not to cry in front of these guys or show any sign of weakness; to just shut down and pretend that I was somewhere else. He also told me not to think about Duff while something was happening to me because I didn't want the thought of him associated with a memory of an unwanted sexual act. He had a point there; I needed Duff to be my safe zone, my comfort, the man I loved and the only REAL lover I had. I didn't want the thought of him associated with a memory of drunken groping by much older rich dudes.

Izzy had set the meeting up after we found out from another asshole at Virgin that almost every record company in town was ready to sign us... IF... Of course there was one caveat. Once catch; a price if you will. What all of the executives were competing for was me; my ass actually, or my mouth on their dick, not really me. None of them would every have the real me. They could touch my cock and violate my body but they couldn't damage what was really important and that was my heart and my love for Duff. No one got a piece of my heart along with my body except him. I feel a hand snaking up my thigh and I let my eyes close and drift away for a few seconds. I'm snapped back into consciousness and reality when the hand on my leg moves upwards over my cock and squeezes lightly. I whimper in disgust but the slimy fuck next to me takes it as a signal to continue and he squeezes me a little harder. Then there are lips pressed against mine and I pull away but a hand firmly guides my face back towards the kiss. "Kid," the one guy Dave says to me, "don't pull away, remember why you're here."

"Yeah, well what do I get out of any of this?" I slur. "What does my band get?"
"You'll see," Dave answers and has the driver pull up to the curb. I see that we really are at Guitar Center, what was going on here? "What you get is a $200 gift card to this place. That's $200 worth of strings and picks, and headhones, and drum sticks, money towards an amp or a new guitar, think about it. It also brings us to the next step in negotiations which would be a showcase for our CEO and if he likes you then we start negotiating terms. Or you can go home empty handed; tell your band mates sorry but you couldn't do what you needed to do to take care of business; your choice," the man says with all the charm of a viper. He's doing that creepy thing that Axl does sometimes where he says something completely horrible in the most jovial, friendly tone of voice with a smile on his face but you're reeling in shock at what came out of his mouth. I look up at the lights of the store; at the Gibsons in the window and the poster of Motley Crue on the door. "So what's it going to be kid?"

"Give me the gift certificate first," I say, lowering my eyes to the floor.

"No, you suck me off then I'll give it to you and then you're gonna suck Mike off," how about that? The scumbag asks. I know they have real names but all I can think of them as, all they deserve as far as names is Scumbag 1 and Scumbag 2. "Every A&R guy in LA wants to know what that beautiful mouth feels like on their dick."

"Ok, but that's all I'm doing, going down on you; I'm not going to do anything else after that," I hear myself slur.

"Right, we know, we didn't ask you to do anything but suck our dicks kid," Scumbag 2 says getting in on the action that's about to start. "We hear you give amazing head and we want to try it out, can you blame us?"