Through The Eyes Of

A Very Literal Pain In the Ass

Slash

I'm sooo sleepy and I feel like complete shit in more ways than one. My head is pounding and my mouth is dry and all I want to do is curl up in bed and sleep but Duff pulled me out of the warm, soft, albeit wet bed at Nikki's and is driving us home. I can't believe I peed the bed. Fuck, I've never been so embarrassed in my whole life! I can't believe I pissed in the bed and Duff had to wake up to that! I also just can't look at him because he knows I shot up with Izzy and Nikki and Steven last night. I was so wasted when I did it that I hardly even remember it; I know it was fucking great but I passed out so soon after that that I'm not sure it was worth it. It definetly wasn't worth having Duff be so upset at me. He's not angry either; he's hurt and he's worried and that's even worse than angry.

I'd be angry at me if I was him; shit I'd waited until he was passed out and then did the one thing that he never wanted me to do: heroin. That shit was already tearing our band apart with Izzy and Axl breaking up over it. Then if that wasn't bad enough I'd pissed all over the bed in my sleep which happens sometimes when I'm really drunk.

I'll never forget the look on his face though when he saw the bruise on my arm where I'd let Nikki shoot me up; it was sad and worried and just, almost defeated. It was a look that made my heart ache. He also yelled at me; he's never yelled at me. Shit, up until then he'd never even really been angry at me. Aggravated sure, but angry no; so of course I got angry too. He yelled at me and I yelled back and then I asked him why he was yelling at me when he never yelled at Izzy and he said the difference was that he wasn't in love with Izzy.

Talk about guilt; those brown eyes looking at me full of worry and hurt made my chest throb. I just looked up at him through my hair and whispered "I'm sorry Duff, I'm so sorry. I was drunk and I wasn't thinking straight; honestly I passed out right after that and just, I'm sorry baby; I never would have done it if I had known it was going to bother you so much.

He sighs and looks down and then pulls me over to him and wraps his arms around me. "Come on, you need to change and get the piss washed off of yourself before we go." I'm still more or less drunk so he has to climb into the shower with me and holds me up and helps to scrub me down. We have to move fast though because apparently Izzy's waiting for us in the car and doesn't feel good. It's Izzy's car and he has the keys and we don't want to be left all the way out here wehre Nikki lives which is about 15 minutes from home.

Twenty minutes after stepping into the shower we're walking out of Nikki's front door and I'm in full on awe of how many people are passed out all over the house and yard. When we get to the car Izzy's curled up in the back seat and Steven's sprawled out in the front passenger seat. I open the door behind the driver's side and crawl in and Duff gets in behind the wheel and we drive home in silence; each of us lost in our own thoughts.

When we get home Izzy heads for the shower and all I want to do is go back to bed but before that can happen I need some asprin for my head and while I'm in the kitchen Steven feels the need to tell me that Izzy fucked Tommy last night in front of Axl; how the hell did I miss that? That had to have been like the fucking show of the century! Duff and Izzy come into the kitchen in the middle of this conversation and Izzy's totally limping. Steven and I start cracking up. "Shut up fuckers," Izzy growls and shuffles towards his couch.

"Izz, you need to eat something, how about some cereal? It will help your stomach," Duff coaxes.

"Fine, bring it to me please?" Izzy pleads looking at Duff with puppy dog eyes.

"Why? Because you got loaded last night and decided that it would be a good idea to let the guy with the biggest fucking dick in the music business fuck you? I mean that thing is fucking legendary; how are you even fucking walking?" Duff wonders aloud.