Gwynriel

New Home

My eyes crack open one at a time. The light that comes in blinds me as I shield my eyes. 

What?

I bolt up as I realize I'm alone, in the middle of the living room, with no fort. Where everyone went, I have no clue. Where the fort went, I also have no clue. 

I stand up and see that it's practically mid afternoon, shit. 

Merill is going to kill me. I have so much work I haven't done. I mentally face balm as I envision the stacks upon stacks upon stacks of work she's going to have ready for me as punishment. I go to make my way out of the house and I almost make it to the stairs when I hear them, Cassian laughing and a chair being moved around. Nesta sounds annoyed and Cassian laughs again.

The first step down is hard, I keep stalling. I want to go back upstairs. I don't want to go back down into the library. It's like a raincloud came over me, the more I think of Merill and the work and the no life I have down there the worse it gets. The more I hear those laughs from upstairs the more of a pull I feel to not leave. To stay here with them. 

My pulse starts to race and I push myself onto the wall. Am I ready to leave the library? Where would I go? 

I'm sure Ness would let me stay in an extra room but I don't want to intrude. I start to bite my lip and my hands shake. I can't go back down there. I don't want to go back down. I want to laugh with Cass and read with Ness. I want to stay.

I'm shaking so bad my legs won't move and its getting hard to breath. 

I'm okay, I'm okay, I'm okay

Breath, Breath, Breath

I am the rock against which the surf crashes

I am the rock against which the surf crashes

I am the rock against which the surf crashes

I repeat the mantra multiple times and I keep trying to breath. I sit forward with my hands on my knees and my chest finally feels a slight release. The breathing gets easier and the shaking starts to stop.

My legs feel like jelly as I try to stand up from the steps. 

Breath Gwyn Breath

The lights flicker in the house and they all go out, minus one hallway. A slight breeze makes its way past me and down the hall, like the house wants me to go that way. I slowly take a step, and then another, and another, until my legs feel normal again and I can walk normally down the path the House is taking me. 

I wind down a couple halls and go up a couple stair cases until I reach a door. Well two doors. One of both sides. The door to the left looks dark while the door to the right is lighten up. I go to turn the knob and my pulse races again. Not in the same way as before but almost with excitement. What does the House have in store for me? 

I push open the door and my hand rushes to my mouth. Could this really be true?

In front of me is a bedroom, a perfect bedroom. It has a canopied bed surrounded by bookshelves filled with books and open airy windows. I can see the city from here, I wonder what it looks like up close. 

I try to take a step in but I'm frozen. Is this real?

"Oh, Gwyn!" I hear Nesta from behind me and I jump a little. She puts a hand on my shoulder and soon I feel a larger rougher hand on the other. 

"It's perfect for you" I hear from Cassian. 

I brush my hands across theirs and hold on as I step in the room. I walk to the shelves and see that The House has stocked it with all of my favorites and I'm assuming the ones I don't know are the houses favorites. 

I keep walking to the window and I was correct. The view of Velaris is breathtaking. I can't wait to see this at night, how the lights will reflect off the water, the people walking under the rainbow. The people in general, walking around shopping. I have a perfect vantage point. 

I look to my left and I see two doors. I push the closest open and it's a bathroom filled with a huge tub and ginormous silver mirror. The floor is marble and I stare in wonder at this beautiful room before I look into the next door. 

I have a walk in closet. I don't think I even have enough clothes for a walk in closet. I think the house can hear thoughts because as soon as I think it, clothes appear on the racks. Not enough to fill the space but enough to last me a week maybe. 

I turn back around to see two people I trust the most in this world standing in the doorway. The only people missing are ... 

There a lot of people missing. Emerie and Azriel to start but also, but also Catrin. And Casey, and all the other children from home. 

I think the house is not the only mind reader as Ness comes forward to wrap me in a hug. 

"I miss them. I miss all of them" I wish I new where they went. I wish I had the courage to find them. I will never regret what I did to save them, I just wish I could see them. Safe and happy. 

Cassian walks over and joins the hug and we all just sit in the middle of the room for a little while. 

I miss my family, but that doesn't mean I don't have one now. 

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The mated couple left me to get acquainted with my new room and it still hasn't hit me yet. 

I have a new room, a new home. 

I don't want to think about my past in this moment but my future. If I can leave the library, what am I going to do?

I left the library.

I left the library. 

Holy crap talk about a step. A small laugh escapes out of me as it finally sinks in. 

I don't have to be a priestess, I can just be me. Whoever that is. 

I left the library. Maybe one day soon I won't be so afraid to go out. 

Thoughts of snowy mountains and dark generals threaten to fill my thoughts but I take a breath and look back to my wall of windows, I just watch. I watch the families walk together with smiles and the couples sneaking looks. I watch the children stuff their faces with the sweets of Velaris and I find myself feeling .... nice. 

I feel relaxed. 

A steaming cup of hot chocolate and my favorite book plop in front of me and I smile. 

"Thank you" I say to the House. This is the best gift I could ever receive. 

A content sigh leaves me and a chair covered in furs appears in front of the space I was just occupying to watch the city. A fireplace also makes its way into the wall next to the chair. 

The House made me a perfect little nook to people watch. 

"You are absolutely the best" 

I think the house appreciated that comment due to the fireplace being lit. 

I make my way back to my city spot, pick up the new book, and take a sip of my hot coco. 

It's nice to be home.