Statehumans one-shots because why not? [SH crackfic]

8- Canada day!

Happy July 1st everyone!

Here's a crappy chapter to celebrate our favorite Canadian!;

Canada sat alone, wishing that his family would make time to come and celebrate his birthday with him.

Canada had invited his family over, but everyone was busy. All except America, who hadn't responded yet. 

"Another shot of maple syrup, please," He muttered to the bartender, who quickly dumped some maple syrup in Canada's hot cocoa. "Thanks."

Canada sighed the Sigh Of The Lonely, contemplating his existence, until his sulking was interrupted by a phone call.

"This is Canadian Maple Real Estate, at your service," He said as he answered the call.

"You run real estate now?" The voice at the other end questioned.

"No, I just do it to confuse people," Canada responded. "Who is this?"

"Vermont! You don't remember me? One of the USA's states?" The voice asked.

"Oh, right!" Canada smiled.

"I'm calling to inform you America can't make it," Vermont continued.

"Oh, great," Canada muttered, not even surprised anymore.

"You sound really disappointed," Vermont pointed out.

"Yeah, everyone else couldn't make it. Now I'm officially all alone," Canada cried.

"What about your provinces?" Vermont questioned.

"They all have their own parade they're attending together," Canada said. "They said that the parade they were going to is going to outshine everything, and I wouldn't fit in, because I'm more of a quiet person."

"Well... Maybe I could arrange something? I know most of the states near the great lakes really want to see you again!" Vermont suggested.

"Really?" Canada asked for confirmation.

"Yeah!" Vermont exclaimed. "We could make our own parade, outshine the provinces' parade, and make them jealous!"

"That might hurt their feelings..." Canada acknowledged.

"Maybe, but revenge is always good for the heart!" Vermont reasoned. "I'll convince the states, we'll come over to your house in a couple hours! Meanwhile, all you have to do is get out of that depressing bar and clear a street for the parade!"

"How did you know I was in a ba-" But Canada couldn't finish because Vermont hung up.

As Vermont promised, soon an army of states was ready to depart into the Kingdom of Canada, they brought many paper maple leaves and white and red sparkles from last fourth of July.

"ONWARD!" Florida shouted from the top of the private jet as they took off. "YEAHHH!"

"No, Florida, try it like this: YEEEEEEHAWWWW!" Texas instructed, also sitting on top of the plane.

"YYYYYYYYYYYYYYEEEEEHHHHHHHHAWWWWWWWW!" Florida screeched, her voice echoing across the universe and startling the aliens.

"YYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW!" Texas yelled so loudly that it caused the ground to shake, and a nearby volcano erupted.

"Idiots," Ohio sighed from the pilot's seat.

The states crashed at the local airport, got onto a taxi, rode (On a moose) towards a hotel, got prepared, then arrived at Canada's house where they FBI'd through the door.