Statehumans one-shots because why not? [SH crackfic]

16- State fair

Sorry that updates have been less frequent. Life, ya know?

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One night, the 49 states (Because Wyoming isn't a state anymore, remember?) were just vibin' together, half of them blasting country music while the others blasted pop songs.

They were all stargazing on top of a popcorn stand at a local state fair. Soon, in about an hour, the sun would rise and a bunch of humans would flood the place, demanding cotton candy and tickets to rides.

Yes, the states ran the parade. That's why it's called a state fair.

"Y'all, I think we need a new attraction," Texas thought out loud. "Less people have been coming by, and we've been loosin' money."

"We could put Florida in a cage and let people pay to watch me feed him?" Kentucky suggested whilst throwing a chicken wing at Florida, who jumped twelve feet in the air to catch it in his mouth.

"Nah," California muttered. "We need a performance!"

"Like... A musical?" New York suggested with an evil glint in his eyes. "I VOTE HAMILTON!"

"YESSS!" Most of the states screeched, because who doesn't love Hamilton?

"There aren't enough roles for us all. People would feel left out," Indiana reasoned.

"So what if we make our own musical?" North Carolina grinned. "It'll be called: North Carolina and the annoying siblings."

"NO! I HAVE IT!" New Jersey suddenly screeched. "Our musical should be about how New York is a little turd and sucks at everything, and then the cool kid of the school *Cough* Me *Cough* does some cool crap and saves the day! El Fin."

"Whatever our musical is about, it needs good songs and good dancing," Delaware participated.

"What if it takes place in the mountains? I know Colorado would love to paint a backdrop with mountains," Oregon proposed.

"Okay, so what if one of us gets lost in the woods/mountains, and they have an epic musical about trying to get home?" Oklahoma suggested.

"Sure. But at least one character needs to die. Can we all agree on that?" Alabama reasoned.

And so, the states began making their musical. While they do this, I'm going to go check up on America.

"How did I get back on this ceiling?" America asked nobody in particular. "All of these events are so strangely unrealistic, like, what the heck? Are we in some kind of different reality where the impossible becomes the regular?"

"Sounds like a crappy fanfiction," Scotland commented from the couch.

"Yeah... It does..." America muttered. "hMMMmmM."

Now, back with the states, their musical was coming along great. Half the states would work on the set design and scripts and all that fun musical stuff, while the other half ran their state fair. Then they would switch groups.

"I can't wait for our musical! The people here look so bored," Idaho commented. 

And he was right. The little humans that were visiting the fair walked slowly, with a look of complete misery and boredom on their human faces.

"Why don't we do something interesting for them, before the musical is ready?" Connecticut suggested.

"Sure," Florida shrugged.

He walked across the path to where the dinosaur exhibit was, and opened the cage. Now there was a pterodactyl and a spinosaurus running around, eating everyone.

"Florida, you complete imbecile," Georgia face-palmed.

With the states who were building the set;

"Whoops," Michigan said as he flung a wet paintbrush at Ohio.

"Oopsie daisy," Ohio responded as he dumped an entire neon yellow paint bucket on Michigan.

"Ope, sorry," Michigan apologized as he flung fifteen balloons full of paint at Ohio.

"Oops! That was a mistake!" Ohio explained as he pushed Michi into a giant bucket of nails.

"So, so sorry!" Michigan picked up Ohio and threw him into a cauldron of nuclear energy.

"I sincerely apologize!" Ohio sincerely apologized as he took out a fire hose and fired it at Michi, who was knocked back by the force and went flying through the ceiling.

This caused the ceiling to fall and crush all of the progress that was made on the design.

I'm not going to write the words that were said after that because there are children here.

ANYWAYS. At the state fair;

"HEY, IS THAT A PELICAN?!" Louisiana gasped.

"It's a pigeon, you ding dong," Tennessee sighed.

"No u," Louisiana retaliated.

"Why must everything end in an argument?" South Dakota complained.

"Hey, where is Hawaii?" Alaska asked.

"Over there, with Florida," Nevada gestured towards the ball pit where Hawaii and Florida were drowning.

"Okay," Alaska shrugged.

"Hey, I just realized, if we're going to have a musical, we need to put out advertisements, right?" Maine said.

So, a group of states started making advertisements. They then took a rocket ship and flew around the world, sprinkling the advertisements across all the continents.

"Hey, this would be a fun getaway," UK remarked as he read the advertisement.

"I'm in! Let's book a flight!" France exclaimed.

So then, the couple booked a flight. While on the flight to wherever in the US (Or on mars) the states are, France decided to update her social media stuffs with a selfie and a hashtag of #OnOurWayToAmericaForAMusical!

Now the entire world who didn't see the advertisements knew all the information about the musical. Because, yes, every single person and country follows France on social media.

Anyway, turns out that five million tickets were bought.

"...We're gonna need a bigger theater," Illinois said.

After buying every chair in the world and going into immense debt (Not like they weren't in any already-), plus finishing up all the props and all the fun theater musical acting shenanigans that exist, the states were ready.

Opening night;

"AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!! I PROCRASTINATED TOO MUCH AND NOW I ONLY KNOW ONE OF MY LINES CYTVUBJBJVHJTFYGBJN-" At least six states screeched.

"Well, we're going on in five minutes, so hurry up and memorize them!" New York snapped. "Remember, everyone you love and hate is watching."

"WELL, THAT DOESN'T HELP ME FEEL ANY BETTER!" Kansas panicked.

Whilst that happened, California finished counting all the guests that were currently there;

"3,872,091 people, 37 countries, 8,047 states/provinces/territories, 1 pterodactyl, 773,926 cities..." Cali reported. 

"Alright, a lot haven't arrived yet, but this'll do. EVERYONE, GET IN POSITION!" New York ordered the group.

And so, the states performed their musical. Great singing. They used their vocal cords really well. A nice amount of improvising, but whatever. It all ended up great! AND GUESS WHAT?!

AN AMERICA'S GOT TALENT GUY WAS THERE!

They were like;

"Bro, that was great. How about the lot of ya came and perform for us?"

And the states where like;

"FRICK HECKING GOAT MACARONI, YES WE WILL!"

And now they are going onto AGT. See where this is going? Eh? Like the last chapter is kinda matching up with this one? No? Well, sorry, I was trying to actually make a plotline.