Statehumans one-shots because why not? [SH crackfic]

Forgotten day

Today I will be writing about some of the most forgotten places in the US so that we can remember them.

Now, you may be thinking of states like Wyoming, Montana, Oregon, New Mexico, Nebraska, and Tennessee, who aren't usually written into these types of books. From my experience at least.

But we aren't talking about those states, we aren't even talking about states. What I mean by 'Forgotten places in the US' I mean the 14 US territories. Yes, 14. There are more than Puerto Rico and Guam!

\-/-|-\-/

In a separate, forgotten wing of the American household, there was a large room. This room was filled with fourteen different beds/hammocks/chairs/whatever the territories preferred to sleep in.

The territories were never involved in the states' madness, but they wanted to, they wanted to be invited to something. But today they decided, no more.

"Let's make THEM want to get invited BY US!" American Samoa exclaimed randomly as she hung from the ceiling with her plunger shoes.

"But we're perfectly content here?" Baker Island reasoned as he played with some hand-me-down Barbies.

"But we live in the state's shadows!" American Samoa protested. "We need to stand out more! I don't want more hand-me-downs, I want fresh delicious clothing and toys! I want to be recognized!"

"You can only be recognized if you're a state, or have a lot of population," Jarvis Island explained, shooting a look at Puerto Rico, who had two million-ish in population. "Most of us don't have population at all, and none of us are states."

"Then why is Da Capital recognized?" A.Sam asked.

"Because they're important, and on the mainland," Midway Islands muttered. "Unlike me, even though I'm literally just a smaller Hawaii that's right next to Hawaii. Why is Hawaii a state then, huh?"

"At least people know your name from that one battle in WWII," Kingman Reef sighed. "Nobody knows me!"

"WAIT WAIT-" Puerto Rico interrupted. "Midway, what'd you say?"

"About Hawaii not being a state? They should make it be their own kingdom again, I mean America did kind of steal Hawaii from its perfectly good life as an independent-"

"Nonono, before that," PR interrupted again.

"DC is recognized because they're important, and on the mainland," Midway repeated.

"Hmmm..." PR murmured. "So we just have to get on the mainland, eh?"

Don don DA!

So the territories devised a plan. All they had to do was scoop up their islands and dump them on Nevada, because Nevada is literally a useless wasteland-

"OFFENSIVE!" Nevada argued.

-so the territories began calculating the amount of land they needed to move.

"Well, I'm pretty much just a U-shaped sand bar," Kingman Reef explained. "So are a lot of others. All we need are shovels. But I'm worried about bigger places with actual population."

"Like me," PR puffed out her chest proudly.

"Stop bragging," Navassa Island snapped. "You're no better than the rest of us."

"Then how come T-Mobile advertised how they give service to all 50 states AND me?" PR asked.

"So, back to our plan..." Johnston Atoll changed the subject.

"Let's start with the smaller islands, then work on the ones with population, 'kay?" Guam suggested.

The territories began grabbing their shovels.

"Wait, guys, there's an easier way to do this," Palmyra Atoll began. "We don't have to do this by hand, we are in the nineteenth century!"

And so the territories got a giant boat with an excavator on top. They also called upon their alien friends that they found during the Area 51 raid so they had some extra extraterrestrial help.

After most of the islands had scooped up their land and dumped it in a lake (They decided Nevada was too boring, and they still wanted to be islands, so now they're in Lake Ontario) they worked on evacuating the population off of islands with population.

Nobody listened, so they did it the hard way.

"GATHER THEM UP! We'll wipe their memories after this!" Howland Island instructed. "THROW THEM IN THE DESIGNATED LAVA PIT!"

Now, all the islands were in places in the great lakes, spread out so they still had some space.

"It's so cold!" American Samoa complained.

"Deal with it," PR snapped. "Now, let's go join the states! They can't ignore us now!"

So the territories crashed a state's party.

"PR? Why are you here? You aren't even on the mainland," Georgia asked.

"I AM NOW!" PR shouted while drinking all the punch.

The states quickly pulled out a globe and spun it around until they found where PR was. Why wasn't her island on the globe? Oh wait, there it was... in Lake Michigan?!

"What the absolute heck?" Michigan asked. "GET YOUR CARIBBEAN BUTT OUT OF MY LAKE!"

"AW, HECK NAW!" PR yelled.

The rest of the territories had an amazing time at the party, and soon they found themselves wrapped up in many activities with the states. Their bonds increased, and nobody could tell them to go away with the excuse of 'You aren't on the mainland'.

"Get out, you aren't a state!" Kentucky protested. This quickly became the new excuse to get the territories to go away.

The territories then had a meeting.

"So, we need to become states," Northern Mariana Islands muttered.

"Easy," Midway said.

Soon all the territories walked around the place with stickers on their faces saying 'I'm a state'.

"Go away, non-state person!" New Hampshire shouted.

"I AM a state though!" Baker Island smiled.

"Crap, you're right, it says so on your face!" NH exclaimed.

Another month of being with the states during parties, events, heists, and other fun crap. Until...

At a party, Howland Islands' sticker got ripped off.

"GASP! They aren't states!" And they were now exposed.

The states removed the territories from the great lakes, carelessly tossing them into the ocean, and stripped everything that made them feel remembered and connected to their family.

"It's a good thing, I guess," Jarvis Island said. "The states were mean to us, so maybe they weren't good friends in the first place. It's good we don't hang out anymore."

"Yeah, whatever, let's go chill with Indonesia," Palmyra Atoll shrugged.

And so the territories were back to how they had been, and pretty much nothing changed. This chapter was useless to the non-existent storyline.

\-/-|-\-/

Lmao, I have nothing to write. I've been getting into new fandoms and am kind of losing my motivation for this boring book thing. Updates might just poof out of reality unless the Writer's Block God decides to give me mercy.