Statehumans one-shots because why not? [SH crackfic]

6- The GMFMIWOE

Do you get it? ^^^?

\-/-|-\-/

"Pleaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaseeeeeeeee?!" Hawaii pleaded.

"But whhhhhyyyyyyyyyy?!" Nebraska asked.

"It's scary in my room! The Monster's Inc. guy is in my closet!" Hawaii explained.

"Don't worry, Randall won't get you," North Dakota soothed the cute bean child.

"Not Randall, the green one with one eye! He's the scariest!" Hawaii cried.

"How?! He literally is the least scary-"

"Just pleeeeeaseee can you stay with me tonight?!" Hawaii interrupted.

"But you're room is small-"

"I'll sleep on the floor," Minnesota volunteered.

"We could attach hammocks above Hawaii's bed," Illinois suggested.

"I'll sleep in the monster closet!" Iowa added bravely. "I'll wrestle that monster away!"

"You couldn't fight if your life depended on it," Missouri's eyes rolled.

"True," Iowa sighed.

"Stop getting off-topic! There's a monster in my closet and I'm not safe!" Hawaii snapped. "You better stay in my room and keep the monster away or I'm going to scream!"

"NO NO NO PLEASE DON'T SCREAM-"

"SCREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!" Hawaii screamed, causing the glasses in the kitchen to explode.

"AAAAAAAH MAKE IT STOPPPPP!" Wisconsin cried on the floor. "WE'LL STAY WITH YOU! PLEASE STOP!" 

"Good," Hawaii abruptly stopped screeching, then marched off towards her room.

"That was dramatic," Michigan muttered.

"WHAT DID YOU SAY?" Wisconsin asked.

"I SAID, THAT WAS DRAMATIC!" Michigan yelled.

"I CAN'T HEAR YOU!" Wisconsin shouted back.

"I SAID, THAT. WAS. DRAMATIC!" Michigan screeched into Wisconsin's ear.

"Oh, why didn't you say so?" Wisconsin asked.

"Frick you," Michigan hissed.

-Time skip brought to you by the now deaf states-

"So, why did you ask us to stay and not Alaska? You like him much better than us," Indiana questioned Hawaii as they sat in her room around 9:00 PM.

"Alaska's one man," Hawaii replied as she played with a pink turtle plush. "You're an army. An immature army, but still an army."

"Ouch," Nebraska commented.

"Alright, I'm going to bed," Hawaii yawned. "Iowa, I better see a dead monster in that closet in the morning. Whether you die with it or not."

"Aye aye, cap'n" Iowa saluted, then cartwheeled into the closet and shut the door.

"The rest of you better uphold your duty," Hawaii instructed sternly. "If we all die, you're dying first."

"Oh my god Hawaii, it's just Mike-"

"DON'T SAY HIS NAME!" Hawaii yelled.

"Dam, okay," South Dakota's eyes moved in a circular motion.

"No swearing!" Half the states in the room gasped.

"I didn't say D*mn, I said Dam. Without the N," South Dakota explained.