Statehumans one-shots because why not? [SH crackfic]

24 (Dang)- Le Fast et le Furioso

The state pressed on the gas pedal, flooring it, hearing the familiar sound of tires screeching in an attempt to grab friction on the tar of the street. The smell of gasoline filled their nostrils as their car took off through the streets of the busy city.

Next to them, a new Tesla with upgraded speed gages sped past them. But, this is a US state we're talking about. They pulled a small trigger on their left, activating the Nitro gas. The sudden burst of speed would scare almost anyone, but not this state.

They raced past the rest of the cars, maneuvering around a pile of wrecked cars. They drifted, skirting around a corner and driving onto a new block, nearly missing a street post. 

The state smoothly swerved out of their drift, and continued straight down an illegally blocked off-street. Behind and to their left, though, a car was catching up. The state grumbled in annoyance and swerved directly in front of the other car.

The driver was startled, and attempted to avoid getting hit by the bumper of the state's car. This chain of events led to them crashing into a book store.

The state averted their attention from that and continued forward.

They rushed past a couple of cop cars who had started investigating the ruckus on the streets. The state was used to being pursued by cops, so they didn't mind as they sped along and over a bridge. 

The finish line was just ahead.

Smiling greatly, the state rushed over a crappily painted white line on the street, skirting and doing a 180 to face the track again, before stepping out of the car and being greeted with a chorus of cheers.

"Alright everyone, hand over your bets!" The state laughed.

People sighed, walking up to them and handing over at least two thousand in cash.

"LET'S GIVE IT UP FOR NORTH RIDER!" An announcer guy cheered, using the epic racing name that was chosen for the state.

North Dakota smiled, accepting the glory (and the money).

You're probably curious as to why ND is the secret racer state guy. Well, 1), because it's the state with the highest street racing rates, and 2), I wanted to.

I have no ideas for this chapter, so why don't we enter a land of beautiful historical past experiences in a conveniently accessible location, the flashback realm!

-Time reverse-

North Dakota was never really interested in cars, not as much as Michigan or California, or maybe New York and Illinois. It wasn't really their thing.

But one day, when Hawaii was just a toddler, they were watching a family movie. It was Hawaii's first family movie (Meaning every single family member (50 states + America + DC) was there), so they planned on doing something special and child appropriate for the young ones.

"Fast and Furious!" Many of them exclaimed. 

"That's not very child appropriate," DC pointed out.

"Soooo?" New Jersey laughed, stealing the remote and using his very smart brain to open up Netflix. (In this flashback, NJ hadn't realized they were Agender yet, so I'm referring to them by 'he')

DC sighed, because even America wanted to watch it, and gave in.

The states turned on Fast and Furious, cheering as the racing cars raced or whatever, and booing whenever someone crashed. 

Most states were energetic about the movie, rooting along with characters and cheering when their ship came true. North Dakota, though, sat next to their brother in silence, their eyes wide open as they stared at the cars racing.

And that's when their drive to be a racer was born! (Get it? drive to be a racer? Because racers drive? No? Ok :( )

North Dakota spent an ENTIRE HOUR training to be a professional street racer! After those 60 minutes, they were the best of the best out of all the racers. They traveled to Chicago, LA, NYC, whatever big cities there are in Texas, and even Tokyo.

They smushed and smashed people with their car as they dominated the illegal races and made lots o' dat mula.

But, over time, South Dakota began to get suspicious vibes from North Dakota.

"Why are you wearing Gucci? I thought you said you worked a part-time fast-food job," SD asked suspiciously.

"UhhHHh..." ND thought for a moment. "I won the lottery?"

"But you don't buy lottery tickets," SD narrowed his eyes.

"UmmmMMm... I accidentally bought a lottery ticket and I happened to win?" ND explained nervously.

South Dakota glared at his sibling as he backed away.

"I'm watching you... I know you're up to something," SD hissed, then ran off into another room.

ND brushed sweat off of their forehead, they weren't found out this time... but what about next time?

-Back to the future (lol)-

North Dakota was sneaking off to another race on a Saturday night, when they got totally busted.

"NORTH DAKOTA!" South Dakota shouted. "HOW DARE THEE SNEAK OFF AT NIGHT!"

"I'm sorry, brother!" North Dakota apologized. "But I... um... have a date with someone and I knew you wouldn't approve. Yeah. Excuse 100."

"A date with who?" SD asked.

"Uhhhh... Florida?" ND responded.

"Florida? That's all you could come up with? Just tell me who it really is," SD rolled his eyes.

"Okay, fine, it's..." ND thought for a moment, trying to find something believable. "Manitoba."

"Manitoba? I guess that would make sense... but why wouldn't you tell me? I don't disapprove, and I wouldn't criticize you for liking someone," SD reasoned.

Then North Dakota realized they were late for their race.

"Here, let's make a deal, I show you what's really going on, if you don't question it, and let me go right now without any further talking," North Dakota bargained, worriedly glancing at their phone.

"Fine," South Dakota agreed, following his twin to the garage.

-Three hours later-

Yeah, so, now both the twins are underground secret racers on a secret team and they secretly help each other out. 

This was boring.

Uhhhh we need a conflict...

"NORTH RIDER KILLED SOMEONE! GASP!" The race announcer gasped, using North Dakota's once again epic coded name.

"I swear it was an accident!" North Dakota argued. "I saw a moose in the road and stopped so I wouldn't crash, and then they crashed into me and flipped over and exploded!"

"STILL MURDER! Also, we're in Rio, why the heck would there be a moose- ANYWAYS, MURDER!" The announcer guy shouted. He's His Majesty Mr. Sir Lord Announcer Guy's cousin btw.

The police were called, and North Dakota was captured. South Dakota wasn't, of course, because he was in his own car near the back of the race at the time the event went down. 

Anyways, the bail was $1,000,000 dollars and none of the states except Cali and NY were rich enough to afford that, but then again those states would never spend their money on getting a random Dakota out of jail, so therefore North is stuck in jail.

Yeah.

South Dakota was really sad, and tried breaking ND out of jail thrice, which ended him up in the same jail cell as his twin.

Okay, that's two more eliminations. 5 down, 45 to go. Who shall be next?!