Statehumans one-shots because why not? [SH crackfic]

21- The mystery of Alaska (Not as epic as it sounds)

This chapter is inspired by a Pinterest story prompt I will put at the bottom, because if I put it here it is spoilers.

Also, when I refer to a time skip involving years, I mean countryhuman years. So like, one countryhuman year could be ten human years. Idk.

\-/-|-\-/

One day, the 48 states (Because Delaware is still hanging out in space) were chillin' during a thunderstorm.

Some states were panicking, because of history with hurricanes and such, but most of them were partying because who doesn't love rain and lightning?

Anyway, everyone was in the basement under a huge fort they made for Hawaii who was crying because she hated rain, and they were out of things to do. 

Plus America was out at a country meeting or whatever the heck adults do, and nobody was allowed to use the oven except for a select few who were currently sleeping, meaning no one could make them good food.

Also there, of course, was an argument going on;

"The lights should be off! They ruin the vibe! We can't see the lava lamp with the lights on! That's why you need to turn your music off!" Utah argued.

"Why does my music have to do anything with the lights?!" Missouri yelled in confusion.

"I can't turn the light off when there's music playing, because the musical vibrations' electricity bounces off the walls and hits the light switch. Then when I touch the light switch, I get electrified," Utah explained very smartly.

"Seriously, you are the stupidest-" Missouri started.

"HEY, GUYS! I just remembered I got this app called 'Soulmate'. It predicts the age you'll find your soulmate at," California said, trying to stop the argument.

"Yeah! Let's play that!" Montana exclaimed.

So, the states all gathered around California, who opened up the app and presented it to the states.

"So, here's how it works: You enter your age, take a picture of yourself and enter that, enter your first name, enter your gender and the gender of people you romantically take interest in, and then it calculates at what age you'll meet your soulmate," California explained.

"This is just so incredibly idiotic. There's no possible way that it could predict that! Plus, you're just submitting private information into this random app with a privacy policy you clicked 'Yes, I agree' on without reading it!" Washington protested.

"Shut up Washy! We're having fun and trying to do something tonight, quit yo yappin'," Arkansas glared at Washington.

"So, who wants to go first?" California asked the group.

"ME!" Multiple states yelled.

After a while, some states were discussing their outcomes.

"I met mine when I was a month old..." Alabama muttered.

"SWEET HOME ALABAMA-" Multiple states screeched before getting shot.

"THAT DOES NOT MEAN IT'S ONE OF YOU, YOU STEREOTYPE PREJUDICE PIECES OF COW CRAP INCOMPETENT PUPPY GROUP OF UGLY VELOCIRAPTORS!" Alabama ranted whilst shooting all those who kept singing.

"...Anyway...Alaska and Texas, both of you guys haven't tried yet," California handed the phone to the two biggest states.

"I don't want to. Not interested in love at the moment," Alaska turned away.

"Well, New Mexico took it and she's Aroace, so you can take it too, even if you aren't romantically attached to people. It's just for entertainment," California reasoned.