Statehumans one-shots because why not? [SH crackfic]

11- Wyoming... Why?

Sorry I haven't updated, I'm just trying to write a book for a new fandom. I got five 2000+ word chapters in and then decided I hated it so I'm restarting XD Anyways, have a quick crappy chapter inspired by something I saw on a drive through my state;

\-/-|-\-/

Wyoming was going on a road trip with some fellow states through the midwest, and after hours worth of nothing but forest and cornfields, they reached a town.

Next to the entrance to the town was a large sign saying 'Welcome to Wyoming! Pop: 604'. 

"Hah, accurate," Kentucky laughed.

"Hey, I have more than 604 population!" Wyoming protested.

"Sure you don't," Half the states tolled their eyes.

"You should be more focused on the fact that there is a town here named after me, and nobody named anything after you," Wyoming argued.

"Kentucky Fried Chicken was named after me," Kentucky said, munching on a fried chicken leg.

"George Washington was named after me," Washington added.

Wyoming sighed and looked out the window of their minivan. He was sad about the fact that he had such little population. So he decided to get some more.

In the Wyoming Secret Lab of Doom, Wyoming investigated which country had the most population. Turns out it was China, so Wyoming planned a trip to China.

After taking his rocket ship over, he quickly snatched a couple of thousand people and brought them to Wyoming.

"It's not kidnapping if the kids aren't napping," Wyoming reasoned whenever someone would ask if this was legal. "I'm simply taking people who are awake."

Then, at a meeting with all the states just a week later, instead of the normal 576,851 pop in Wyoming, it was at 643,078. (Pop numbers are based on the 2020 census)

"W-what?! HOW?!" Vermont screeched, clearly mad that Wyoming had one more inhabitant than they did.

Wyoming smiled proudly. 

"I guess a lot of people are discovering how amazing my state is!" Wyoming smirked.

"Okay but... Why did the amount of Chinese-speaking citizens in your state rise up so high?" Da Capital asked, looking at a graph of some kind.

"I-I don't know," Wyoming stuttered nervously. "Maybe people really want to learn Chinese all of the sudden?"

"Sounds reasonable," Da Capital shrugged and continued over the rest of the graphs about kitten population.

Wyoming, for the rest of the year, was super happy. Until a family in Maine moved to Vermont.

"CRAP! Now they have four more citizens than me!" Wyoming complained.

So, he went back into the Wyoming Secret Lab of Doom and created a cloning device. He wandered around his state and cloned every single citizen he had, then disappeared back to his base and waited until next meeting.

"1,286,156?!" Vermont screeched. "HOW?!"

"Now you have more than Vermont, me, Alaska, both Dakotas, Delaware, Rhode Island, and Montana!" Da Capital gasped.

All the states turned suspicious glares towards Wyoming.

"What?" He asked.

"First of all, it's funny that double your population is only more than seven states, second, HOW?!" North Carolina shouted in confuzzlement. 

"I got a new amusement park?" Wyoming made an excuse.

"Ah, understandable," Florida nodded.

A week later, Wyoming's ambition grew. Why stop at 1,286,156? 

So, he raided China and India, the two most populated countries, and stole half of each of their population. 719,661,888 + 690,002,192 = 1,409,664,080 more people! Yay!

"Why do you have 1,410,950,236 people?" Da Capital asked at the next meeting.

"More importantly, HOW?!" California asked. "Your state is not big enough!"

"The entirety of the USA has 331,002,651 people! HOW DO YOU HAVE MORE THAN TRIPLE OUR COUNTRY'S POPULATION?!" Delaware shrieked.

"For the first question, a lot of bunk beds. For the second question, I recently built a new golf course?" Wyoming explained. 

"Oh, okay, makes sense," Connecticut participated.

The next day, a country meeting took place;

"Alright, so as usu- WHAT?!" UN gasped at the charts. "AMERICA?!"

"Yeah?" America looked down from his position on the ceiling.

"WHY DO YOU HAVE 1,741,952,887 POPULATION?!" UN yelled.

"Uhhh... Maybe another generation of boomers?" America shrugged despite his Flex Tape restraints.

"Eh, makes sense," Indonesia yawned. "Can we get back to the video about turtles kissing kittens?"

Don't mention how nobody realized the huge decrease in China and India's populations.

Anyways, Wyoming was super happy. Everywhere he went in his state was full of people. The mass amount of population meant that more and more people are building things, so now Wyoming has two new cities the triple the size of New York City. Plus, his original capital is now GIANT.

Because of all this popularity, Wyoming has maybe possibly gone insane. Now, he decided he might as well leave the USA.

"Au revoir losers!" He yelled as he rode off into the distance on top of a school bus.

"Hey guys I just found out that Takis are free as long as you don't pay for them," New York said as he entered the scene. "Wait, where's Wyoming going?"

"He's starting his own country," Chihuahua explained.

"Makes sense, now that he suddenly has so much population," New York said.

"Wait- Why is Chihuahua here?" Alabama asked.

"Idk," Chihuahua shrugged. "I heard there's this wall between our countries so I thought I'd go for a climb."

And so Wyoming became the most populated country in the world. They had the best of everything.

Because of the small amount of land and the fact that the population couldn't fit there, every single house was a skyscraper with at least fifty floors. 

This gave the residents space for parks and stuff in between the skyscrapers. And these were just small villages. The big cities had 150+ floors on their scyscrapers.

Nobody has ever questioned how the population rose so fast, but nobody cared because now there was a rollercoaster that went across the top of every skyscraper in the state and ran at 350 mph.

And that's it for this episode of My Little Pony. Have a good day.

\-/-|-\-/

Calculators may or may not have been harmed during the making of this production.