Statehumans one-shots because why not? [SH crackfic]

14- Worst thing I've ever written

Thanks, WhyDoesThisExists, for the suggestion! Your request was great, but it was a bit hard to try and make a story around, so I ended up with this short little chapter of absolute chaos and insanity XD

Please don't read.

\-/-|-\-/

"America!" New York called out in a singsong voice.

"Whaaat?" America asked from the ceiling. He is never getting down. Despite your attempts.

"We're going to speak to you using only musical quotes, alright?" New York smirked.

"And we'll add the musicals that they're from in parenthesis at the end of our sentences," Vermont pitched in.

"Wait- please don't sing-" America begged for mercy.

"I don't care, who you are...!" New York dramatically sang. "I don't care, how you... feeeeeel-" (Mean Girls)

"SPARE ME!" America cried.

"N-n-n-n-n-n-no way!" Maine entered the room. (SIX)

"I'll do anything!" America offered.

"Seriously, these kids need to learn, there are, consequences in life," DC sighed as they watched the states belt out random musical quotes. (21 Chump Sreet)

Then UK entered the room.

"All the British dudes, like, EPIC FAIL!" West Virginia just happened to sing at the wrong moment. (SIX)

"EXCUSE ME?" UK gasped.

"Uh oh, here we go-" Pennsylvania muttered. (SIX again. Sorry, it's what I'm listening to rn)

"See you on the other side!" New Hampshire eyed the angry British dude. (Hamilton)

So, then UK started angrily shouting about how he isn't an 'Epic fail' because he has some anger issues. Don't tell him I said that.

Meanwhile, in the corner, we have some states acting out a love scene, only using musical quotes because they wanted to and I don't know what I'm writing anymore.

"I look into your eyes and the, sky's the limit. I'm helplesss-" Tennessee danced around. (Hamilton)

"What the heck I gotta doooo, to be with you-" Kentucky sang while munching on fried chicken. (21 Chump Street)

"Baby, give me your hand!" Tennessee reached out towards the chicken man. "It can be us, and only us!" (Legally Blonde and then Dear Evan Hansen)

"I'm your maaaan!" Kentucky took the other's hand. (Hamilton)

Some states didn't bother to even use different musical quotes to make a show. They just screeched Hamilton at each other.

"HEAR YE, HEAR YE!"

"I SCREAM IN THE FACE OF THIS MASS MUTINY!" 

"DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS TO LEAD?"

"L A F A Y E T T E 🥖🥐🇲🇫!" 

"OUI OUI, MON AMI!"

"STAIN THESE REDCOATS REDDER WITH BLOODSTAINS!"

"HIGHLIGHTS!"

"YOUR FATHER'S A SCOUNDREL, AND SO IT SEEMS YOU!"

"OH MY GOD, TEAR THIS DUDE APART!"

Seriously guys, I'm questioning my sanity.

Anyway, a wild Australia barged into the room on top of a crocodile-shark hybrid thing with machine guns attatched to its sides. 

"AUSTRALIA, GET BACK HERE!" New Zealand yelled, riding on a giant kiwi bird.

"NEVER!" Australia yelled, firing the machine guns and then crawling away.

New Zealand gave chase, riding the kiwi straight through a wall. A couple of the musical-screeching states followed, because they wanted to and why the heck are you reading this right now, like, seriously. This is degrading the last half brain cell I have.

"Oh my god, omigod you guys!" South Dakota sang as they watched an epic fight break out between New Zealand and Australia. (Legally Blonde)

"Oooh!" Maine flinched as Kiwi landed a blow on Aussie. (Hamilton. And probably other musicals)

"I'm unbreakable!" Kiwi yelled. "You can do your best!" (SIX)

"I'LL SHOW YOU WHERE MY SHOE FITS!" Aussie retorted, kicking Kiwi in the back. (Hamilton)

"Why are you guys fighting anyway?" France interrupted.

The two sibling paused for a moment.

"I heard a rumor that Aussie stole my fluffly sparkle hairbrush," Kiwi explained.

"And I'm fighting because I heard somewhere that Kiwi didn't like meat. WHICH IS DUMB! MEAT RULES!" Aussie argued.

"It doesn't for fellow vegetarians," Kiwi glared.

"Fils, seriously, you brought out machine guns because of a rumor about a hairbrush and meat?" France sighed.

And so the argument ended. Why is this important to the story line? I don't know, I just needed more words for this chapter. It's still just 600 words. I'll end it here.

I think I have an okay idea for the next chapter, so that'll be longer.

Don't read this book.

Your briancell count will drop into the negatives.