Statehumans one-shots because why not? [SH crackfic]

22- Fishies go glub blub

The 48 states walked through a park together, well, not so much together anymore as Florida took off running up a tree after a squirrel. 

"FLORIDA, NOT AGAIN! DON'T PUT IT IN YOUR MOUTH! I'LL GIVE YOU TIME OUT!" Georgia yelled angrily. "GET BACK OVER HERE OR ELSE."

Florida pouted, but knew not to disobey orders written in bold, so she jumped out of the tree and joined the states once again.

"Hey, look at that fish," Maryland randomly pointed out a glowy green fish in a pond nearby.

"That's probably the source," South Dakota looked over at a nuclear power plant dumping waste into the pond.

"I'm gonna save it, maybe it'll join my army and bow before me to repay its debt," Hawaii ran over and picked the fish up, quickly scooping it into her Hydro Flask.

"Hawaii, you already command an army of thirty-eight stuffed animals, we don't need you adding a nuclear-poisoned fish into the batch," Alaska advised.

Hawaii glared at Alaska.

"I am perfectly capable of taking care of a fish," Hawaii argued.

"No, you're not," DC interrupted. "Remember what happened last time with that snail, the ice cream, and the hydrogen bomb?"

"Yeah but-"

"No buts. I, as the leader of this group, am telling you to let the fish go free," DC ordered.

"FiNe," Hawaii took the fish out of the Hydro Flask and then petted its head in farewell.

Although, the moment she started petting its head, it started to glow even more than before.

"Ummm, that's not normal," Kentucky poked the fish with a fried chicken leg.

"No duh," Kansas rolled his eyes.

The fish started glowing more, and then suddenly, everyone died.

Oops, typo, I meant everyone disappeared.

But the truth is that they didn't really disappear. America could tell because he was perched on top of a skyscraper nearby, looking through his sniper scope when he saw the strangest thing ever happen to his children. They didn't disappear, or die, but they turned into fish!

America gasped and started running down the stairs of the skyscraper, trying to get to his kids before they all flopped around into the nuclear water.

Once he reached his states, luckily on time, he stuffed them all into his portable bathtub and ran home.

At the house, America let them free in the pool in the backyard. The states swam around whilst DC tried talking to America on ways to fix this like the responsible capital they were.

The thing is that America didn't understand fish, so he just called over the animal expert to help him understand the situation.

Once Australia arrived riding a giant golden eagle, he started to talk with DC. 

"Yes, of course," Australia smiled at DC.

"Burbble glub glub," DC instructed.

"I'll make sure to do that," Australia nodded solemnly. "Is that all?"

"Gublub," DC confirmed, before going off to go stop the southern states from trying to see how far they can jump out of the pool.

"So...?" America questioned worriedly.

"They gave a report, a very lengthy one, on what was going on. Then they told us to read a book called 'All about transforming into fish, volume 3' for help to get them back to normal," Australia explained.

"Alrighty then!" America exclaimed, rushing into the house with Australia in search of the book.

Let's check up with Delaware, shall we?

Delaware had recently made a couple of new friends with some meteors that passed by the spot he was stuck in space, but the meteors soon left and he was very bored.

Until he realized he was gravitating towards a giant green planet!

He knew the gravitational pull shouldn't be able to pull him down through the atmosphere or whatever it's called, so he felt safe. Until it defied life and logic and started pulling him down.

Once he landed on the surface of the planet, luckily he landed in an ocean, he swam to shore and realized that this planet has oxygen. He breathed it in. So much better than space air. Anyway, he started exploring the green planet.

All he could see was a giant field of wildflowers and the ocean behind him. Nothing else. No hills, mountains, or anything. It was as flat as a... flat... thing. Yeah. 

He decided that there was nothing else to do but go and find water and/or food, so he set off towards the horizon line.

Back with the states on Earth;

"Glub blub," Nebraska argued.

"GLUBBLE GABBLE BLUB BLUB!" Missouri shot back.

"Ubble gooble," Nebraska reasoned.

"Bubble..." Missouri sighed, before adding wisely; "Glabble bloobley."

"Glu," Nebraska nodded.

"Y'ALL! I think I found how to fix you!" America shouted as he ran towards the pool with a book in hand.

The fish all looked up at America hopefully. Except for those who liked being fish.

"I just need the blood of an orangutan, a summoning circle, a bunch of dollar store candles, a snake, a rectangular prism, a piece of homework that is due tomorrow, and a helium balloon," America explained.

"GLABBLE!" DC exclaimed.

"They said 'we have all of those'," Australia translated.

"Where?" America asked.

So the fish and countries worked together to get all the supplies. Homework from New Jersey, because Jersey over here is the only state who hasn't done the homework they were assigned three days ago. Summoning circle, that one's easy, every neighborhood has a local one.

The snake and orangutan blood was provided by Florida's closet, the balloon came from the balloon room, the rectangular prism from Pennsylvania because she has some for decoration, and the candles from the local summoning circle supplies case.

"Okay! Let's begin!" America smiled, picking up all the fish and putting them inside the circle. 

He started mumbling words as fast as he could, because, believe it or not, fish can't breathe above land.

Suddenly, Oklahoma started dying.

"GET HIM TO THE WATER!" America yelled at Australia, who quickly did so.

America got up and ran to make sure Oklahoma was okay, but it was a mistake. He left the spell unfinished. 

When America came back, he gasped in surprise.

All 47 states (Not counting fish Oklahoma right now) were human again! Except... they had fish tails! They were like mermaids but with legs and smaller tails. :O

"Half fish states! Cool!" Arkansas celebrated.

"Now we can explore underwater!" Washington smiled.

"Actually, it says this is a side effect of not finishing the spell," America interrupted, reading out of the book. "The tails will go away in twelve hours."

The states looked at each other, nodded in unison, and then took off towards the local beach. Oklahoma stayed in Hawaii's Hydro Flask as they did so.

Anyways, moral of the story, kids: Grabbing suspicious glowy nuclear fish and petting them will give you temporary benefits that are totally worth it.

Also, I may or may not be picking off states. As you can see, Wyoming, Delaware, and Oklahoma are gone/disqualified. I mean, Oklahoma is still with them and is still a state, but let's just say he's not anymore.

Who will win this ultimate state hunger games?! Find out next time, on Disney Channel! I'm actually planning on making a Hunger Games chapter so stay tuned for that as well!