Oneshots

Flow | TommyInnit

"No man ever steps in the same river twice, for he is not the same man and it is not the same river." ~ Heraclitus of Ephesus, [about] 500 BCE.

~~~

"Tommy, do you still remember the days when we would sit in this river? With your mother, father, older brothers and I? Do you remember those days, when we could laugh and play without the worries and the fears?"

"Yes, grandfather. I do." Tommy looked down at him, as he grasped the older man's hand. Tommy was scared to lose his grandfather. He didn't want to be alone. He didn't want to have to say goodbye. Not again. Not another time. They were all gone already. He didn't want anyone else to leave him.

"Tommy." The old man raised his upper body slightly, enough to be able to make eye contact with the short boy. "When I die-" he stopped momentarily, almost as if he didn't want to finish. But he did anyway, "I want you to send my body on a boat and let it flow down that river forever. As a final goodbye to, well to my children and my other grandchildren. To the people who've suffered so much from this illness."

"Grandfa-" Tommy started, tears rolling down his cheeks.

"Tommy, I know what you're going to say. Please, Tommy, stop denying it. It'll only hurt you more when I do pass away. Alright?"

"No." He responded firmly. To the older man's surprise, he didn't sound upset. Not anymore. He only sounded determined. More than he had ever been before.

"I'm an old man already Tommy. It's inevitable that I will pass away, especially since I've contracted the illness. The best thing for you to do is to get away from me and allow me to die. Don't risk your own survival Tommy. You're one of very few people left. You're our sole hope, Tommy." Tommy's grandfather tried to smile at him, but after seeing the boy shaking and crying, he just couldn't.

~~~

April 9th, 2023

"Grandfather?" Tommy woke up in silence. He couldn't even hear his grandfather's breaths, nor his heartbeat. He grabbed the man's hand, but it was completely cold. His full body was a very pale blue. The only colours he could see was the red of his blood, splattered on his clothing and blanket.

Suddenly the truth struck the young boy.

His grandfather was gone.

Forever.

He was alone.

Again.

Now, however, there was no redemption. There was no second chance. There was no one there, holding an arm out, ready and waiting for him to grab it. No one to bring him in and embrace him. No one to comfort him on a bad day, or when he had a nightmare.

It was over.

He thought his life was over then.

It felt as if another stone had rolled into his heart, dragging it down to a point where he could barely stand. This time, a realization. Not about his grandfather. Not even about his family at all. But about him. His future.

His existence on this planet.

It was all over.

Everything.

He took the bloodied blanket, wrapping it around his grandfather's corpse. And he dragged the body down the hill, to the riverside. Where they had played and laughed and sang not so long ago. Only two years ago, before this all happened. Before they had all left him alone.

He looked down at the flowing water. It still looked the same. So fresh, so clean. He took off his shoe, rolling up the sleeves of his pants as he stood in the river. He let the frigid water wash over his feet. It felt as if it was purifying him. From his sins, from his pain, and just from his life.

He eyed the raft that his father had once built for him and his older brothers. Where they used to float along the river, so cheerfully. Now, that cheerfulness, that happiness, it felt so long ago. It felt so distant, separated from the present-day world. It was strange, almost. Just two years ago, everything was normal. The river had stayed mostly the same, he thought, but he was such a changed person from when he last visited.

He was a hollow shell of a person now. A corpse with just enough energy to breathe. But now, it felt as if he had lost that energy. He no longer wanted to breathe. He just wanted to be free.

He wanted to be happy.

He looked at the raft again, holding it steady as he gently placed the body on it. Even after that, however, he continued to hold it steady, making sure it didn't drift off. Not yet, not until he did one final thing.

He lay down on the raft, draping part of the blanket over his own body before he let go of the sharp rocks, allowing the raft to follow the flow, where one day, it would lead him and his grandfather to the ocean. A place where they could see their family, and live in their true home.