*TRIGGER WARNING*
Naomi Levine is your normal 16-year-old girl, she's a Pokemon breeder that travels around the world with her close friends Ash, Brock, and Dawn. You would say she's your normal, lovable, funny, stubborn, outgoing girl but really...
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(Naomi's Pov) *TRIGGER WARNING*
After everyone went to bed, I had the hardest time going to sleep. I couldn't stop thinking about the past few hours and all it did was bring more pain on. I don't know how much longer I could keep it in...I needed this out. I needed this pain to be gone asap or else I'm going to go crazy. I groaned as I clenched my fists and got up from bed being careful not to wake up Dawn.
My heart started to race as my hands began to shake. This needed to be gone NOW! I quietly went to my bag, grabbed out my box cutter and bandages and headed straight to the bathroom. I quietly shut the door, locked it behind me and slid down the door. My breathing became shakier as I trembled anxiously. I choked on sobs as I lifted up my jumper sleeves to see faded scars and cuts.
I opened the box cutter and held it against my wrist. I was now hyperventilating at this point which is not good. Part of me didn't want to do this, but I knew this was going to happen sooner or later so I didn't want to get my hopes up on stopping because how can I do that when my life is mess? When myself is a mess, when everything is such a fucking mess...I don't know how to stop...I don't know what else to do...
I sighed as I closed my eyes, took a few deep shaky breaths and swiped the box cutter along my wrists which made me yelp in pain as I felt the blood pour from my wrists. I felt a sense of relief wash over me which made me sigh as I did it a few times over both of my wrists feeling nothing but numb at this point.
When I was done, I couldn't feel my arms as they were all tingly and numb. My arms felt heavy as they dropped to my sides. I laid my head back on the bathroom door and felt my eyes droop a bit either from sleep deprivation, blood loss or the hyperventilating maybe a combination of all 3. My breathing calmed down as I heard nothing but my own slowing heartrate in my ears.
I looked at my bandages and grabbed them as I weakly wrapped them around my wrists. I cleaned up the blood from the floor and flushed the tissues down the toilet so no one suspects anything...I've known for years how to clean up a mess and not leave any suspicions behind...shouldn't really say that as an accomplishment but I mean what else do I have to offer?
I weakly got up only to become lightheaded and have my heart race again. I put my hands on the sink and breathed a little heavily as my head began to pound as well. I splashed some cold water on my face and headed back to the bedroom to hopefully now try and get some sleep. I put my things away, lied on my bed and tried to get some sleep but at this point my mind was racing about how shitty and fucked up my life is, then add Paul to the mix? Doesn't make things better.
I was numb, yet I still felt so much and what sucks is I have to hide all this pain in. I have to keep this hidden; these are the secrets that must never come out, but how long can you keep things a secret? Secrets not only break trust and friendship but it's exhausting, not to mention extremely hard to hide because what do you do when it gets hot? What do you do when they wanna ask you to swim?
