Wanga and Thiko's encounter leads to an intense love story that changes everyone's life forever. Will love cover everything and remain strong with the perilous times of life?
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"Stop looking at me like that?" I say He doesn't say anything but lie next to me staring at the ceiling like me. "What now?" He asks "We stop" I say He doesn't say anything for a minute. "Just because I said..." I cut him off "We had an agreement, if one catches feelings we stop that's what no strings attached is all about Gudani" "Is that what you want?" He looks at me I swallow, I don't want to hurt him so I won't lie. "Yes" He gets up and walk to the bathroom, close the door behind him. I get up, put on my clothes, take my bag and leave his house.
I call Lufuno on my way home, he doesn't answer so I dial again. "Demon, ndi mini" he answers "I need to vent" I say "Who are you?" He's making fun of me "Gudani said he loved me and I froze, I just ended things with him" I explain "You do know, no strings attached means many strings attached right?" Lufuno "Ani khou thusa" I sigh "You've been having sex with him for the past 3 months now, he's not a robot like you Wanga. I don't blame him for catching feelings..." Lufuno explain He has a point. "A thi robot nne" I protest I hear chuckles on the other side. "Man hoe, you're with Adi aren't you?" My cousin is a hoe "You don't get to judge me" He's laughing "Whatever Satan" I hung up My day just got better however I still feel terrible about leaving Gudani like that. If I take a nap then I'll wake up feeling a lot better.
Tebogo got married to Itumeleng, he doesn't say much about it to me since he knows I don't support it. He's still madly in love with Tshinondiwa, he doesn't want to admit it but I know he does. Speak of the devil...he's calling "I was just thinking about you" I answer He's laughing "Really?" "Yes, that you're happily married now and neglected our friendship" I say "You think i made a mistake" he states "I don't think, I know. You are still in love with Tshinondiwa..." "Stop saying that Wanga" Tebogo "Stop ignoring me for being a good friend, I know you don't want to hear the truth but you love her..." "I love Itumeleng, that's why I married her" he corrects "What ever makes you sleep at night, I sleep convincing myself that I don't feel anything. It's a lie but it gives me comfort at night. So I'm not going to convince you to say the truth, sometimes those lies bring more comfort than the truth" I say "She cheated on me..." Tebogo "I know, that's why me and you are not so different. We are subject of our own past. I run, you hate" I say He's quiet "I'm glad therapy is doing you good" Tebogo says "It just opened my eyes, that I'm way wounded than I thought. Maybe damaged..." I exhale "I guess we're both damaged." He stops "Tebogo..." "Hey, I have to go Itu is here" he hang up I wanted to tell him something that's been bothering me, he's the only one I can freely talk to if not my therapist and she already knows all my burdens. I run a bath and soak up, numbing myself.
"Wanga, Wanga" my mom's voice calling me The cold wave hits my whole body, I shiver. I'm now coughing, naked on the floor. My mom cover me with a blanket and kneel infront of me. "What happened?" I ask "I should be asking you that, you almost killed yourself Wanga. Mulandu wanu ndi mini?" Why is she shouting at me? "I just wanted to take a bath..." I state "You wanted to drown yourself" she corrects me I will never do that, why would she say that? "I'm calling your psychologist..." "Mma hai" I hold her hand "I'm not losing my only daughter, if it means me dragging you there myself then I'll do it. Ambarani Wanga, dovha ndoni lindela nnda" she leaves my sight What did I just do? I just scared my mother, why didn't I think about that?
She doesn't say anything or look at me all the way, I asked her to drive and she just gave me a grave stare and got in the car. We're in Thohoyandou, I follow my mom who's now walking ahead not uttering a word. She opens the door without knocking and judging by the look on doctor Themeli's face she's startled. "My daughter almost killed herself just few minutes ago, she's been coming here every week, I thought it was helping her but instead she's thinking of ways to end her life. I don't know you Mrs but she's the only thing I have left in this life, I can't lose her." Her voice cracked when she said that "A thi divhi uri vha khou tea itani uri Nwananga a fhole, ndi do thusa nga ndila dzothe..." she continues "Ndi do ita zwothe zwine nda kona, ndi khou vha thembisa" Mrs Themeli My mom nods and walk outside. "Wanga, ho iteani?" She asks sitting down "A thi divhi" I respond "If you don't tell me, I can't help you" she says I sigh "I am tired" She doesn't say anything. "I don't want to suffer anymore, i don't want to make anyone suffer so I'm tired. I just wanted to soak my heart and numb the pain" I sit down "You think killing yourself will give you a break?" She asks "It's a try" I mumble "Then when you're tired of being dead, you'll wake up and live again is that right?" "Don't mock me" I command She looks at her paper then back at me "Was it your father?" She asks "Who did what?" She's pissing me off "Was it Nkhumbuleni?" Her again "No, stop" I order "Your friend Dakalo?" I'm now on my feet pacing. "Stop or I'll leave" I say almost whispering "Was it Maanda?" She just had to say it I'm now crying, I couldn't fight the urge to. "I loved him till the day he confessed it to me, then I realized I wasn't inlove with him anymore. Then he died...do you have any idea how I feel?" I cry "You don't talk about it so I don't" Mrs Themeli "Guilty, that I hurt him on his last moments. I could've lied to him,give him something to remember me by. But instead I choose someone else...who did the same thing to me as all of them. I can't forgive myself for hurting Maanda, not being there to save Nkhumbu or telling my father I love him the day he died and every day he was alive. I can't forgive God either..." I bite my lower lip "Since you mentioned him, do we finally get to talk about him?" She's observing me I nod "Thiko hurt you, broke your trust and betrayed you. You need to make peace with that" she says "No, I wanted to soak my heart to numb the pain. I lost too much..." "You didn't lose him, you walked away Wanga. Thiko is very much alive..." she corrects Since when is she so clear with her words? "He's not the problem, my loss is why I'm here..." "But he's the reason you drowned" she clarifies I feel heavy so I sit down, on the floor. "I hate him so much for making me fall in love with him, for giving me a reason to exist. I was alive when I was with him, everything about him had meaning to me. And he cheated...I can't" I am now crying hysterically "He was all that but it didn't make him less human" she says I can't even speak, my emotions are all over the place "You held him to high standards, almost like a God you worshiped him that's why you couldn't accept that he made a mistake." I'm still sobbing "We talk about the dead on every session i don't mind but let's be honest with each other, they're not the reason you're here." That's all I needed to hear, all this time I could sleep at night because I didn't want to think about Thiko or convince myself that I hated him. Lying on my bed of lies, gave me comfort in my wounded heart. That day I went home and cried in my mother's arms until I feel asleep. She kept brushing my hair and humming a lullaby.
Three weeks passed, I haven't slept with Gudani since the time he confessed his love for me but we talk. He's getting married to the girl I saw on his Instagram making silly faces the day we met at Migeroni. I knew they were dating all along, I had no intention of breaking them up or taking him from her. I just wanted sex and that's it, he was good at it more reasons why I kept coming back for more. I don't know the girl, never met her but she's decent and not damaged like me so she's good for him. One thing that draw me to Gudani is that he listened to me, I would talk to him about God knows what and he would listen. He doesn't talk much but laugh a lot when he gets on my nerves, I liked that. "Remind me again why I'm here?" Lufuno He's been complaining about everything. "I need a dress, you must help me pick" "You are really going to the wedding?" Lufuno asks "I'm invited, I might as well go" I say "Okay, but definitely not that one" he says after a while
I decided to ride solo to Gudani's wedding, Lufuno wouldn't stop making fun of me and Tebogo's booedup with Itu. I'm wearing a long Ankara dress and stilettos i bought online with Lufuno's help and money.
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I arrive at Nandoni Kingsgate, please someone call Our perfect wedding. Everything in class, elegance and white. I get sitted at the back, I don't want to introduce myself in the front with important people. I take my phone and take few pictures of myself, people are filling up the venue already. The priest and the best man are now standing but still having a conversation, Gudani joins them. He's laughing, hug his best man and greet the priest. My stomach turns as my eyes stay on his, he's here, in front of me. No, he's here as Gudani's best man. Everyone stands up, the bride makes her way to her groom. I look back at Gudani but I find Thiko's eyes on me, I look down. I spent the whole ceremony avoiding eye contact with Thiko, thank God it's over. "Thank you for coming" Gudani gives me a warm smile "It was a beautiful ceremony, you look happy" I smile "I am happy" he says Thiko joins us. "Wanga meet Thiko my best friend, were brothers but I like to think of him as my friend" he smiles at him "I know Wanga very well" Thiko with no emotion on his voice Someone save me... "Really?" Gudani says "She left me after our child got murdered" he walks away I look at Gudani, who is puzzled. "I had no idea you were his ex..." he stops "He's the guy from your pictures on Instagram, the one you'd always cut his face?" He finally remembered I nod "Shit, he'll kill me if he ever find out we had sex. We'd talk about mine, how was i supposed to know that was you?" He's nervous and it's making me nervous "That's what he calls me, mine" I say "I'm sorry but can I steal my husband?" His wife smiling at me I return a smile, What did I just do? Seeing Thiko made me feel things i thought I didn’t feel anymore, I thought i was over him but now I'm as concerned about my feelings for him. Some wounds never heal completely, do they?
