Random encounters

19. Guilty

I haven't told Thiko or anyone what happened that day, I know now why Candy said she doesn't like Luke. She knew too, or maybe she saw it but she can't tell me.
Thabile said she wanted to talk, these never gets old. I'm starting to think I'm her psychologist but I'm not complaining.
"I made tea" I say as she walks in
She smiles and embrace me.
"Where's our baby?" She asks
I laugh "Sleeping, she cried the whole night but luckily she was with Candy"
"The biological mother " Thabile chuckles
We sit on the couch.
"I'm pregnant..."
"Haibo" I exclaim
"Khumo doesn't know, I don't want to tell him" she says
"Why?" I ask
"I planned to go abroad next year varsity, study law maybe in Havard or Oxford with TK's father's connections I can. By that time Khumo would have forgotten about me or maybe grew tired..." Thabile
"Noo, don't say that" Why am I being emotional
"I want an abortion..."
Why does it break my heart this much, I'm the one crying. I feel like those words ripped through my chest open.
"Why are you crying Wanga?" She asks
"Because you don't deserve to go through that" I cry
She looks at me like she has a lot in her mind but can't say it aloud.
"What ever decision you make, I'll always be there for you. I'll always support you Thabile" I wipe my tears
"I know and thank you" she smiles at me
I don't want her to feel like she's making a bad decision, this is her life and I have no right over it.
"What did Luke say to you?" She asks
I clear my throat. "What?" Still puzzled
"I overhead his argument with Khumo the other day, he loves you..." Thabile
"Stop..."
"Everyone knows except Thiko, since Luke told you." Thabile explains
"It will break his heart if he finds out Wanga so you can't tell him, we've kept this for so long. Please don't tell Thiko" she continues
"How do I look at him and pretend like everything is fine?" I ask her
"You've been doing great so far. Luke was being selfish, he should've never told you. It's not like he expected you to leave Thiko and be with him, besides he  knows how much Thiko loves you." She stops
"I won't tell him" I say
She nods still facing me.
"You're being selfish too" I continue and then get up
I need to check on my baby and also clear my mind. I don't know how I feel about Luke's confession, what bothers me is that everyone has their own opinions on what's best for me. I will never think of hurting Thiko but I do feel like Luke deserves a response. He poured his heart to me knowing very well he had nothing to ask for in return, he wanted nothing but for me to   know the truth. He obviously thought it through but couldn't keep it in any longer. I owe him a response.
"Babe, we're going out tonight. Like old times" Candy at the door
"I don't know..." I say
"Well everyone is partying tonight and I won't be taking no for an answer"she gets inside
I'm not in a mood to be with everyone else, knowing that they're busy crucifying Luke for confessing his feelings for me. I don't think it's fair or it's just me being selfish.
"What's up with you?" Candy snapping her fingers
I look at her and shake my head.
"You've been looking at the door with a worried look, what happened?" She asks
"I want to go home..." I say
The look on her face...she looks away.
"Or away, I need to think" I continue
She doesn't answer but get up and walk out.

I made up my mind, I'm going out tonight. I haven't been myself since my encounter with Luke, maybe this will help me get back to my norm. Candy's mom is babysitting Denzhe for the night, I will pick her in the morning.
I'm done with my makeup and hair, however I don't know if I should wear a dress or just go plain with jeans. I'll just wear a dress and heels, it's less work either way.
Thiko said he'll eat first while I take my time dressing up, as if he expected me to take an hour or something. He gives me a stare as I make my way to him like there's something wrong with my outfit.
"I'm done" I say
He clears his throat.
"You are beautiful Wanga" he says
The way he was staring at me made me feel like he was going to ask me to go and change, that's why I'm so astonished by his compliment.
"Thank you" I blush
He walks to me and place his left hand on my waist.
"I still can't believe you're mine" he kisses me
It's slow but reminds me of the first time we kissed and everything changed for me. I was hooked and madly in love with him, nothing has changed so why am I thinking about another man more than mine. Does it make me unfaithful,  a hoe or worse?
"Let's have a quickie..." I whisper
This is not me, yes I shocked myself as well. He doesn’t protest but give me what I want.