He's My Nerd (Harry Styles as Marcel fanfic)

Chapter 28

Rosalind's POV

Marcel held my hand as much as possible in the car ride home, but we were both very quiet.

I couldn't help but give myself a hard time over everything that had happened.

I felt disgusted.

It was only a kiss, but I felt abused. I felt like I was completly used and I was really hurt in the process. Perhaps it was because I felt so threated. There was no escape, I was forced into it. He was bigger than me, stronger and a hell of a lot scarier.

I also felt very dirty. I was in a relationship and I kissed another guy - unwillngly or otherwise, I felt like a cheater. Marcel must've felt so hurt and ashamed of me.

I bet could've stopped it all if I tried harder.

It was my fault.

My head dropped and Marcel seemed to know what I was thinking.

"Don't blame yourself." He said soothingly, giving my hand a gentle squeeze.

The whole scenario played through over and over in my head, and I criticised myself the whole ride home, trying to work out ways I could have avoided the whole situation.

All I managed to achieve was just making myself feel worse.

With every escape plan I thought of but didn't use, I felt more like a failure.

"Rosalind," Marcel said when I didn't reply. "I know what it's like to feel like it's all your fault. It's not. It's their decisions that make you feel this way, not yours. The more you think about it, the more you blame yourself. They are not worth your time."

I was taken aback by his words. He was so open with me and I loved it, yet I felt like I didn't deserve him.

Maybe it was my stress finally exploding out of me, or maybe it was the love I felt building in my chest, or the awe in my heart for the beautiful boy beside me, but whatever it was, I broke down in sobs, slumping in my seat and dropping my head ino my hands.

I felt such an overwhelming rush of emotion and I couldn't work out what it was.

Marcel continued to hold my hand, gently rubbing cirles with his thumb and quietly soothing me.

Then, we pulled into my driveway and Marcel helped me pull my shaking form from his car.

"Why am I so upset?" I wondered aloud between my rather unattractive sniffles and gasps for air whilst sobbing.

"I think you're still a little unwell Rosalind." Marcel clarified as he wrapped a careful arm around me.

I just nodded, absentmindedly noticing that my mother's car was gone from the side of the street, meaning that she was either out with a friend or was working through the daytime today instead of night.

Fumbling with my keys I unlocked the front door and Marcel ushered me inside.

"You go upstairs and get changed into some comfortable clothes. I'll make some tea." He offered, and led me to the stairs.

I stopped on the first step, realising I was now as tall as him, and threw my arms around his neck.

"You're so perfect." I whispered, squeezing him tightly.

His arms were securely wrapped around my waist in a beautiful, comforting gesture.

He didn't reply to me and I smiled, picturing his face which - despite his rather out of character actions recently - I knew would be flushing with embarrassment. He was wonderfully awkward, and I happily rested my chin on his shoulder.

"You are too." He replied eventually, inhaling a deep, shaky breath.

Then, in a very brave gesture (well - brave for Marcel), he turned his head and pressed his lips to my jawline, holding them there momentarily and then pulling away and loosening his arms.

I slowly reached up to run my hand through his hair and smiled happily as a couple of curls came free.

Marcel was blushing furiously, but I felt like I was too.

"I'll make that tea, then." His voice was low as he smiled sweetly, and I nodded in response as his hands released my waist and I was free to go.

I headed upstairs to change and threw on some burgundy sweatpants and a grey long sleeved top, before brushing out my hair which had become a little messy and then throwing it up again in a messy ponytail (which in all honesty was not much of an improvement).

I slipped my feet into my warm slippers and padded back to my mirror, where I cleaned my smudged make-up off my face and replaced it only with a new coat of mascara and some concealer under my baggy eyes.

I didn't care if I looked awful. I didn't need to worry about my appearance around Marcel, and I loved that about him.

Slowly, I dragged myself back downstairs and into the kictchen, where my eyes landed on Marcel stirring two steaming cups of tea.

He heard me enter and greeted me with a smile.

"Sugar?"

I shook my head with an answering smile and joined him at the counter.

"I called school for you." Marcel informed me.

"You did?"

"Yeah, I told them you still weren't well and wouldn't be in again today, and I said I have the same virus now too, so I can stay here with you all day."

I carefully wrapped my arms around him and rested my head on his chest.

"Thank you." I sighed.

We then made our way to my living room, bringing the tea and some biscuits and curling up with a blanket on my couch.

"Should we watch a romantic movie?" I asked, half joking. "We could be like all the other sappy couples in the world."

"We can if you want." Marcel grinned. "Or we could watch something else. As far as I'm aware, we've been nothing like the rest so far."

"You're right." I agreed, chuckling. "Let's watch something gross."

"Sounds good to me."

I put my tea on the coffee table and grabbed a couple of horror movies from our DVD cabinet. Neither were very scary, but both were gory.

Marcel picked the one with the most pictures of blood and gore on it, and I laughed, putting it on and settling back down with him.

As the movie played out I found myself hoping it would always be like this with us.

I really loved us - just the way we were.

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Chappie for my loves!

It's unedited, but i think its alright as far as i can see.

Anyway, I lurve you alll

Katie xx