Hospital Girl (Michael Clifford Fanfiction)

Chapter 14

Mickey's POV

        As soon as she said I could come with her I was so happy, and I actually couldn't believe that she let me come. For ages she had gone alone and not told anyone. 
        "Just going to warn you now this whole appointment is about my bipolar so you might be a little shocked at some of the stuff that I say, that is if your actually allowed to come in with me." B said this with a shy smile. I could tell she was happy that I was coming with her but I could also tell that there was a part of her that was petrified of what was going to happen.
        "Don't worry, I think I can handle it." I said with a smile and she just laughed at me and shook her head. When we got near the hospital there was a lot of paps and B seemed to freeze as they all too photos of her. I could tell she was petrified so I grabbed a hold of her tiny hand and pulled her along until she actually walked by her own will again. The paps took even more photos because of this but I didn't care and after a while I don't think she did.
        "Is that one wearing a make-up?" I asked hoping it would cheer her up a little and it did because I heard her snigger but she composed herself again before saying.
        "Each to their own, but the fact that that one there is wearing a T-shirt me and Holly made is quite funny." She said this with a giggle and it made me look again and I saw the top with the design that they came up with. I still remember when she said that she had made them, the look on her face was full of pride and joy.
        We kept on laughing and joking about until she had to go into her appointment. I wasn't allowed to go in due to the fact that it could effect what B would say. I didn't mind because it seemed like she was happy with this and that all that really matters. If she had wanted me in there with her she would have tried to put up a fight but she didn't, and I guess that understandable due to what it was about in the first place really. 
        While I was waiting I saw there was a leaflet about bipolar and I was curious about what it actually was so I went and picked it up. 

(Leaflet)
 Bipolar disorder is characterised by extreme mood swings. These can range from extreme highs (mania) to extreme lows (depression).
Episodes of mania and depression can often last for several weeks or months. 
Depression

During a period of depression, your symptoms may include:

feeling sad and hopeless

lacking energy

difficulty concentrating and remembering things

loss of interest in everyday activities

feelings of emptiness or worthlessness

feelings of guilt and despair

feeling pessimistic about everything

self-doubt

being delusional, having hallucinations and disturbed or illogical thinking

lack of appetite

difficulty sleeping

waking up early

suicidal thoughts

Mania

The manic phase of bipolar disorder may include:

feeling very happy, elated or overjoyed

talking very quickly

feeling full of energy

feeling self-important

feeling full of great new ideas and having important plans

being easily distracted

being easily irritated or agitated

being delusional, having hallucinations and disturbed or illogical thinking

not feeling like sleeping

not eating

doing things that often have disastrous consequences, such as spending large sums of money on expensive and sometimes unaffordable items

making decisions or saying things that are out of character and that others see as being risky or harmful 

Patterns of depression and mania

If you have bipolar disorder, you may have episodes of depression more regularly than episodes of mania, or vice versa. 

Between episodes of depression and mania, you may sometimes have periods where you have a "normal" mood.

The patterns are not always the same and some people may experience:

rapid cycling – where a person with bipolar disorder repeatedly swings from a high to low phase quickly without having a "normal" period in between

mixed state – where a person with bipolar disorder experiences symptoms of depression and mania together; for example, overactivity with a depressed mood

Living with bipolar disorder

Bipolar disorder is a condition of extremes. A person with the condition may be unaware they are in the manic phase.

After the episode is over, they may be shocked at their behaviour. However, at the time, they may believe other people are being negative or unhelpful.

Some people with bipolar disorder have more frequent and severe episodes than others. The extreme nature of the condition means staying in a job may be difficult and relationships may become strained. There is also an increased risk of suicide.

During episodes of mania and depression, someone with bipolar disorder may experience strange sensations, such as seeing, hearing or smelling things that are not there (hallucinations).

They may also believe things that seem irrational to other people (delusions). These types of symptoms are known as psychosis or a psychotic episode.

        I had no idea this is what bipolar actually was. I knew it was something to do with not really being able to control your mood but nothing like this ever came to mind. When B came out and saw what I had in my hand she smiled a little bet.
        "You know that's almost like the leaflet I read a couple of months ago. How come you read it?" She had a asked with a beautiful on her face.
        "Yeah? I guess I was curious as to what was actually going on in that head of you. Need to get anything?I I asked with a shy smile.
        "Well I guess that's a small step in the right direction but bad mood swings aren't the only thing you know! And yeah I need to get some more Lithium Carbonate." She said this with ease and a smile but I was completely confused as to what the hell it was and I think she could tell. "It's the medication I'm on. It helps control my mood and helps with some other stuff as well I." She smiles. She looked so comfortable here, and I could see why she actually like to go alone.
        When we got her medication we left and had to split as I needed to go to the studio to hear how the new songs sounded. I said she could come with but she insisted on waiting till the rest of the world could listen and said that she needed to make a new video anyway.