Not the same - enemies to lovers

Part 11- 2 down 1 more to go

loki pulled me all the way to the elevator, he hadn't said a word since he pulled me from the training room, from bucky.

I wanted to speak and ask him what the hell he was doing, he confuses me sometimes, times like this where he acts totally out of character. Although it was kinda hot seeing him all affectionate, even if that was just him holding my hand pulling me along. 

standing in the elevator I finally turned to him but the moment my mouth opened his lips crashed to mine, they were soft and smooth against my own. I opened my mouth more so our tongues could explore each others mouths, this felt right but I don't know, I feel the same as how I did with Steve, like the moment is perfect - the person - but not perfect for me.

Never the less I wasn't letting this opportunity slip away, I'd be a fool, so I depend the kiss as his hands found my waist, then my ass, then my thighs hoisting me up so my legs were wrapped around his waist. I let out a moan in his mouth which causing him to almost growl, moving his mouth to my jaw then neck, the elevator doors opened to our joint floor and he walked us quickly into his room. we explored each others bodys . . . several times.

loki-"we're still friends right?"

y/n-"yes" I laughed softly "this was a one time- two time-"

loki-"six time thing" he smirked which caused me to laugh again.

y/n-"your one of my closest friends lokes, that's never gonna change. I gotta go though so i'll speak to you later" he smiled as I threw my clothes back on heading to my own room to shower.

Before walking into my room I looked opposite to buckys, the door was open but he wasn't in there, I could the plum tree sat on the windowsill which made me smile, and next to it sat the large sunflower head from a few days ago I think, or was it a week ago. I don't know hydra messed up my sense of time, but it made me smile, seeing that he kept it.

The thought was cut short when the elevator doors opened with Steve and bucky in, they looked up at me smiling but out of pure shock I ran into my room slamming the door shut. god, im an idiot. why was I acting like I'd been caught, I'm an adult I can do what I want. . . so why does it feel like i'm cheating on my non existent boyfriend?

I jumped into the shower washing off the sex and hopefully washing away these stupid anxieties I have over nothing, I grabbed some oversized joggers and hoodie leaving my hair slightly damp so it could air dry. I peeked out my door and walked into the kitchen on our floor where bucky and Steve had ventured too, I smiled at them and could tell they wanted to know why I was acting like a wierdo 10minuets ago.

y/n-"okay so maybe I acted weird, I am weird get over it" I smiled sarcastically in a playful way before sitting at the counter a few seats away from bucky.

Steve-"hey! no reading minds at the table" he joked as he dug into his snack, bucky let out a laugh in sync with me causing us to look at each other, after that the three of us had a somewhat normal conversation. in the back of my mind I was hoping Steve would leave so I could finally get to know what bucky wants so tell me.

He said and I quote "I lo-"

what was he going to say? maybe he was going to say 'I lost something' no. maybe he was going to say 'I loved the flower' yeah that's probably it, but he already said he liked it. maybe, he was going to say he lov-. HA, no way was he going to say that, we hate each other, even when we have these small moments together, it doesn't change how we feel towards each other. I hate him. And he hates me. regardless of our past.

Steve-"y/n you still with us" he waved his hand infant of my face so I leant forward trying to bite his finger making him jump back pulling laughter from my mouth.

y/n-"yeah I was just thinking."

bucky-"go on." I glanced between to two men not knowing what to say.

y/n-"what was that Tony? you need me for something, yeah ill be right there" I shouted, still looking at the two of them seeing there faces twist into smiling and confusion, I stood up backing away from them both and toward the balcony doors. "sorry gotta run"

Steve-"no ones calling you y/n- Y/N!" I jumped off the balcony falling so fast I couldn't capture my breath, in a second a green flash beaconed from my body and I flew back up past the two men who stood out on the balcony watching me with there fearful faces and too the roof.

bucky-"she's fucking crazy" he mumbled to himself with a smirk.

The roof was nice, peaceful, I wasn't sure I was aloud here but I didn't care the view was worth it. being here in this moment made me reflect ton the past days, I was dragged back to the place I feared most and then got out only having to come back to my new prison. yes, I loved them all with my whole heart, but I can't forget that i'm forced to be here, i'm not even a loud to go out and see the city. is it because they don't trust ill be safe from hydra or is it because they don't think the public will be safe from me?

wanda-"your thoughts are very loud" I turned my head to see Wanda walking up and sitting on the ledge next to me. "talk to me"

y/n-"I just feel like I'm trapped" tears fell from my eyes and my lip quivered causing pandas arm to wrap around me pulling me in so my head rested on her shoulder.

wanda-"hydra will never get you again, I promise."

y/n-"not hydra. here." she stiffened at my words. "I escaped from one prison only for fury to find me years later and put me in a new one, yes I love you guys but- I don't know, I have no freedom and it just reminds me i'm a prisoner here"

she pulled me back so our eyes met.

wanda-"you were a prisoner here, you aren't anymore, your an avenger. A friend"

I cried harder at her words, happy tears, I was in fact home. I wasn't a prisoner, I wasn't someones property, I was me, and they accepted me.