Not the same - enemies to lovers

Part 23- starting over again

I think I'm going to pass out.

My eyes darted around the room at anything and every thing but him. My breathing was erratic but it felt like no air was going into my lungs. My cheeks felt like they were on fire from the blood rushing to my face.

bucky-"why did you do it y/n" he whispered.

I finally looked him in the eyes, they were glossy making the blue in his eyes look even more like the ocean, I couldn't help but allow the guilt to hit me over and over again the longer I stared. I opened my mouth but no sound came out so he continued speaking "because what you did was not loving, it wasn't courageous or heroic. It was fucking selfish" his words fell from his lips like venom.

y/n-"I wasn't ready." I breathed out which he scoffed at. "I-i wasn't ready for the realisation someone actually loved me. so yes, I was acting so fucking selfish when I did what I did to you. But you have to believe me when I say I though I was doing the right thing." my heart had stopped beating 100 miles per hour and the room fell silent, a type of silence I'd never experienced before, it was a silence so loud I thought my ears might start to bleed. He simply nodded his head, looked down to the floor in thought before slowly standing up from the bed and leaving the room shutting the door behind him. I had tears in my eyes threatening to fall and never stop falling, but before they could he knocked on my door.

 I walked over sceptically and opened it.

He stood there with an innocent smile on his face.

bucky-"hey I'm bucky, my room is across from yours... I just wanted to introduce myself since your new and all" i was really confused for a few moments when my heart suddenly melted at his kind actions. we're starting over again.

y/n-"I'm y/n" he put his hand out for me to shake which I graciously accepted.

Bucky-"well it's a pleasure to meet you y/n. I can already tell that we are going to be good friends, best friends even." I laughed as tears fell from my eyes.

y/n-"well I would like to think I'm funner than Steve" he laughed and pulled me into a tight hug. Over the past months of everyone hugging and comforting me, this hug was the only one I needed to be able to heal. "thank you" I whispered into his chest, tightening my grip around him.

After that we walked downstairs and told everyone we were friends which they were all ecstatic about. For the first time of me being here I finally feel like I'm apart of something good, like I'm finally apart of the team. Most of us sat down together on the sofas, I was wedged between nat and Steve, Wanda and vision sat in-front of us on the floor, Pietro sat next to nat, Bucky next to Steve and Sharon basically on top of Bucky whilst Clint, bruce and Tony were in the lab. God only knows what trouble Loki was getting into since he was finally aloud to leave the compound alone. I know Bucky hates Sharon so I'm really not sure why he hasn't kicked her out after everything she has said to me, and by everyone else's reactions to her being in the room with us I'd say they all agree. Me and Bucky however kept stealing glances and smirks at each other which made my stomach twist with butterflies.

Half way through the film Tony came in and called me over, I happily walked over to him but my mood shifted when I saw the seriousness on his face, he put his hand on my arm and lead me out the room to the lab. Once we got there bruce quickly stopped what he was doing giving me his full attention which set the tension in the room high, there could be a nuclear war going on and bruce wouldn't look up from his work so what the hell is going on? Tony ushered me to sit down and then him and bruce stood looking slightly down on me. literally and figuratively. 

Tony-"so me and bruce have been doing some tests on your blood ever since you were taken by hydra to make sure you were okay" he looked me in the eyes, I could sense his fear. was he scared of me? He cut my thoughts short by taking my hands leading me from the chair to the medical bed.