Fall to Pieces

For Starters

Raina, the little girl that greeted me on the first day, runs up to me, and asks me to braid her hair. Trying to calm my shaky fingers, I tell her to sit down in front of me. I feel like my mother, braiding hair. The only difference is that the little girl used to be me. When I'm finished she smiles at me. "Thank you!"

I smile back, but it will never be as bright as hers.

I stopped smiling like that eight years ago.

"Good morning!" I shout, trying to be noticed over all the giggling and talking. Groaning, they turn and face me. "Good! So, because I don't know all of you that well, I will need an assistant for the day. And today, Elena, you are the assistant."

She glares at me. "No thanks."

Giving her a sly smile, I say, "You don't have a choice. Come on. I need you to hand out these notebooks and pens."

As she hands them out, with just the right amount of sass, I look at the class. "Every week, I will give you a topic to write about in these books. Its going to be like your weekly journal. I read them and mark them, based on your English and grammar, and hand them back to you. Does that sound fair?"

"Why?" Scarlett miserably asks. "I have a feeling that this class is going to be a whole lot harder now."

Smiling, I put my hands on my hip. "Why, I'm glad you asked! How would you feel if someone was better than you? Had better clothes, jobs, houses...tell me, Scarlett, how would you feel?"

"Like shit."

"Exactly! In the room next door, there is twenty three boys your age in that class, correct?"

The girls nod.

"Do you know that right now, they are smarter than you? They have the advantage of having the better career, the better house and the better car. All of you want that, right? All of you want the chance to be equals to the men in society, right? I'm begging you all to give me the chance to teach you, and to make you better people in life. I heard you're stories yesterday. You all want to be the next lawyer or doctor or teacher. Success starts here, right now. Its a choice you have to make for yourselves. I'm just doing a job."

The room is silent. I smile sadly, and look around. "I hate to say this, but its true. I see beautiful young girls in this room. The sad truth is, that is how society will ever look at you. As beautiful. They won't look at your credentials until after. Try to be more than a pretty face. Trust me, it takes you a whole lot further."

Scarlett nods her head, and raises her hand. "What's the first topic?"

"I'm glad you asked. Picking up the small piece if chalk, I write, "When I'm Older."

"What is this, Grade 1?" Elena asks.

I sit down. "Uh, no. Did you know that you girls have a Grade 5 reading score? No, right? So prove to me that this is too easy for you. Don't give me five sentences, give me five paragraphs. Its a simple topic. Turn a simple topic into something difficult. Okay? Its due next week Monday. Good. Now, math."

And so the groans begin.