Fall to Pieces

Problems

That night, I have a feeling that Eddy is ignoring me. I'm concerned, because now everything is at risk. My whole life, once again, is in ruins.
"Eddy, you okay?" I ask when we're getting ready for bed. He sighs and shakes his head. "No, Ana, I'm not okay. In fact, I'm far from okay."
Uhhh..."May I ask why?"
"Why? That's a good question. Can you please tell me why your not pressing charges against Fraiser?"
My face drops. "You heard?"
"I picked up the phone in the kitchen when in rang. Got to hear him keep you on a tight leash."
"You don't know anything," I hiss.
"I know enough, Anastasia. I know that one day, your going to wish you told the police."
"I can't, Eddy. I'm sorry, I can't. There is just too much at stake. You heard him with your own two ears! He will kill someone!"
"So avenge them!"
"You make it sound so easy, Eddy. Oh, go and tell the police and everything will be fine. No, it won't be. Even if he goes to jail, he knows people. Do you honestly think he'd only let blood fall on his hands? Misery loves company. He's willing to drag people down with him."
"That's not the point."
"Yes, it is!" I shout. "I don't want anyone to die! How is that not the point?"
"You're being stubborn, Ana. What if that man gets free. If he did it to another girl, what's going to stop him from doing it again? What if he did it to Frankie? What if he raped Scarlett or Elena, huh? Would you still keep quiet?"
"That's completely different, Eddy." I snarl, fuming.
"No, Ana! Its not!"
"You know what?" I say, throwing my hands up in the air, "I'm done. You have no idea what you're talking about."
"I'm trying to protect you."
"I can protect myself, Eddy! You need to worry about Natalie and her little gang that wants to kill two innocent girls!"
"How the hell did we get there?"
"You think I haven't noticed? She's your demon just as Fraiser is mine. She haunts you just like Fraiser haunts me. Admit, your scared. Deep down, you're scared that if she does come back the girls, she's coming back for you too."
"This isn't about me. Its about you. It was never supposed to be about me, Anastasia!" He yells.
"Why don't you tell the police that it was Natalie that wanted you dead that night? When you are able to do so, then I might be able to muster the courage to take legal action against Fraiser." 

"We both know that isnt going to happen. So I guess this is the end."

And my worst nightmare is confirmed. I was officially lost. I am officially shattered to pieces.

***

"I knew this was going to happen," Fernanda tells me in front of the whole class, two days before I leave. "We all did."

"Thanks for you're input. Please, stop worrying about me. Back to the lesson." I reply, picking up the chalk.
"She's right," Scarlett pipes in. "Its like waiting for the sun to set in paradise."
Elena nods. "In fact, I think that's your problem. You're too loyal to people around you. You'll drown for people who won't even get in the water for you."
I tilt my head. "Most of the people I know are very loyal, thanks. Now back to-"
"Wait. You should tell the police if it means saving your relationship. That takes courage." Marisaa cuts me off. "In fact, you look like the biggest hypocrite right now. You're always telling us to be strong and brave but you can't even do that yourself."
"Exactly," Bridget chimes in. "Your running from your demons instead of warning towards them."
I sigh, and rub my temples. Its like before, all over again. For the first time in eight months, I need a drink. I want to go to a party. I want to drown in my sorrow. I want to die. So badly, right here, right now, I want to leave this life. I want to escape. I want to forget. I need to forget, because I can't. I just want to go home. I just want to go home. I'm done. Anastasia no longer exists anymore. Just a shell of what she used to be.