Fall to Pieces

Sweet Dreams

Ever since my little "dream," I haven't really slept. Well, that's a lie. I haven't slept. Dark circles are starting to appear under my eyes. I can't sleep in a room so full of my mother's memories. It hurts when I think of her. And at night, I'm scared her ghost will come to haunt me, coming to help me find peace. I can't find peace. Peace, I'm 100% sure, needs to find me. I was able to talk to Issac yesterday. I miss my twin brother. He was the one that was able to make me laugh. At all times. He sounded just as dead as me. We all have our past lives to deal with. We shouldn't do it alone. I hope dad is happy, knowing that his children are upset and miserable. Eddy is always watching me. I feel like I'm under surveillance, just with his watch. Looking into his eyes, that's always my mistake. There is always that feeling that I'm burning. Blissfully burning. So I try to avoid his gaze at all costs.
And as for my class, the girls have improved in their schoolwork. I'm proud that I've been able to make a small but important difference in their lives. As for the dance competition, I signed them up, and they successfully chose two songs. Oceans and Lifeline by Hillsong, one of my favorite gospel bands.
I look up as I hear someone approaching. I hear some giggles.
"My, my, my," I coo out loud, "I wonder who it could be."
Raina and Diego run and sit beside me, each holding a picture.
"For you," they both say in English, and run off. Aw, I love little kids. They both drew me pictures so for sure I'll hang this in my wall.
Walking back to my room, Eddy decides to come out of his.
"Anastasia. You've run out of things to mark so you took up coloring. Sucks when you can't sleep, huh?"
"What are you talking about?" I ask, embarrassed. How does he know every aspect of my life? Geez.
"There's circles under you're eyes. Your crankier than usual. Come on, now. Obviously your not sleeping. Besides, I can practically hear you when you toss and turn." He explains, crossing his arms.
"You're weird if you listen to see if I'm sleeping or not."
He chuckles. "Maybe."
I sigh. "I'm sorry I slapped you the other day."
"Yeah, your hands are deadly. I thought I saw the light for two seconds."
I giggle. "I'm sorry."
"Its okay. No hard feelings."
I smile, say goodnight, and walk to my room. I change into my pajamas, and start to look at the time. Eddy was right, I did finish marking so I had literally nothing to keep me occupied. I was tired, but I didn't want to sleep. I might feel drowsy if I had a cup of tea or something.
"Anastasia? Are you sleep walking again?" Eddy asks.
I turn around and glare at him. "No. My God."
"So where are you going?"
"Actually, uh, I..."
"Couldn't sleep huh?"
I throw my hands up in exasperation. "Yes. You're right. Shit."
"You could sleep with me, you know, if you're comfortable doing that. You might sleep better."
I think about this. I used to sleep better when Isaac was home, and I would find such a peace in his arms, and actually sleep a whole night...
"Okay," I whisper. And walk into his room. I can tell he's trying to hide his surprised face. I look around the room, taking in his Marvel posters and family pictures. "Nice room."
"Thanks," he says, taking off his shirt. Now, of course, being the pervert I am, stare in awe. He's so beautifully built, I really just want to run my hands-
"Like something you see?" He asks, in a mocking tone.
"Uh, no I was just noticing that the door was a nice color."  Yeah. I'm gonna shut up now.
I climb into his bed, inhaling his scent. Apparently Isaac isn't the only one who uses Irish Springs. He climbs in the bed beside me, trying to keep his space. "Goodnight, Anastasia. Sweet dreams."
He turns off the light, and before I know it, I'm drifting off.