Awakened thoughts and desire (BxB)

chapter 11. Jealous.

Killian.

The day went by in a blur and mostly Corey was talking to his friend, catching up. After all they are best friends since they were young. He was still giving me the attention but Luca was there always to interrupt our conversation which annoyed me. I know deep in my heart that Luca feels something for Corey. The way he is looking at him and the way he finds a way to touch him for a no reason. I wonder if Corey is also oblivious about it like I was oblivious about him having feelings for me.

I shrug off those feelings because they are not healthy at all. Me and Corey are nothing, even though he told me that he likes me doesn't mean anything and I'm still with Aria, I still have a girlfriend whom I have taken long without talking to since Corey happened and I feel bad about it. The guilty is eating me up so bad, I don't want to look in her face. I'm a damn lier and a cheater.

I let Corey touch me without a second thought, without thinking about her at all. I have been with her for one year then I do this her, I am pathetic piece of shit, I really don't deserve her at all. She deserves better and I think she also sees it, it's like she gave up on me because when we meet she just smiles at me and makes up something. I don't blame her though,I'm the one who ruined us.

"Let's  go man, the first one to reach the first lights wins" Luca grinned his eyes lightening up looking at Corey.

"What do I get in return" Corey asked his hand holding mine tightly not letting it go. They were looking at their motorbikes in admiration, yes it turns out that Luca also owned a motorbike. School ended hours ago, Corey had stayed to watch me practice football since he had to see the volleyball coach, he wants to join. I thought he didn't have any passion for sports but the way his eyes lit up when he talked about volleyball was on the another level. He loves the game more than football.

"I will let you fuck me" I choked on my spit hearing what Luca had said, My eyes widening in shock. My heart beat frantically  in my chest. So they fuck, I should have known at the way Luca was looking at Corey. You can see that there is something going on between them. I looked down thinking where the hell was Dillon, I have been waiting for him for over ten minutes but he wasn't coming out. Corey looked at me swallowing hard as he squeezed my hand tightly as if telling me something but my heart was aching painfully at what Luca had said yet I have no right to feel like this.

Was he going to accept or... "I am here killian sorry Mr king wanted something let's go!" I heaved a sigh in relief when Dillon decided to show. I didn't want to listen to the love birds betting to have sex. My mouth was twitching wanting to ask Corey to not sleep with Luca, but I couldn't as far as I know he was a free man and I was the one who was still in a relationship.

"See you" my voice was high, it betrayed me at how it came out. My mouth was trembling sightly trying to keep my tears at bay. Why does it hurt so much, just thinking of Corey with other people hurts. What does that even mean. Corey leaned down trying to kiss me on my cheek but I just pulled my hand out of his grip matching to my car unlocking it.

Why was I mad, I don't know.

I can feel Corey's eyes on me and foot steps behind me but right now I needed to think. I was about to open my car when Corey stopped me "are you ok my amor" he asked a hint of worry in his voice. My voice felt constipated bitting my lips hard wanting to ask him if he was going to sleep with Luca but words didn't come out so I nodded yes giving him a forced smile. I can feel Luca's gaze on us.

Corey pulled me towards his chest hugging me tightly, I felt like crying but controlled myself, I'm so pathetic "I will call you ok" I nodded looking anywhere but him he placed a kiss on my forehead softly. Dillon was watching softly a big smile on his lips. Corey let go of me as he continued scanning my face uncertainty on his face. I tried to mask my emotions and I think it worked because he gave me one of his big smiles kissing my cheek moving to where Luca was standing.