Awakened thoughts and desire (BxB)

Luca's story.

Luca

I never meant to hurt him.

I never meant our friendship to end like this,

I blame my heart which never accepted the fact that he didn't love me. I knew he wasn't in love with me since the beginning, even before killian happened, he was never interested in me.  I have always craved his love, the love I have for him changed me from being the innocent small Luca to a bad boy. I didn't like myself at all but just because Corey used to say that someone with tattoos would be hot and there was I , going to the tattoo shop to get one just because Corey Said they would be hot.

He was always my weaknesses, he had everything I ever wanted in a man. He is so manly, handsome and hot. The way he used to hold me during sex made me feel secure like nothing would never hurt me when I'm with him. I got addicted to him, his scent, his smile,his talk, his dick oh my God his dick always did Magic in my ass and I love everything he did to me with it. I'm crazy in love with Corey in that sometimes I had to drug him to have sex with me.

He didn't want to have sex with me in the first place. He didn't want to ruin our friendship but I couldn't control myself. I wanted Corey like the air I'm breathing right now. I wanted him since the day I saw him in kindergarten, he was the first boy I got attracted too and I made sure to be by his side thinking he will love me back but it will never happen. Corey doesn't love me. He slept with many people but he always refused to sleep with me yet the only thing I ever wanted was him. To feel him.

The first time we had sex was when he gave up looking for Killian. The boy was always on Corey's mind. Not a day passed by when he didn't think or talk about how great he was. He saw killian for only three days but Corey was crazy in love with him so much.

I remember that day I offered myself to him but he refused sleeping with Me saying he doesn't want to mix friendship with pleasure and he was so damn right but I couldn't control myself. I craved him.  I was dying to have him inside of me and I didn't have anything to do but to drug him. I know he doesn't even remember that day at all, all he remembers was finding himself in bed with me that morning.

I know all this is stupid but Corey always makes me lose my mind and don't think. He is the only person on my mind and it hurts that he doesn't want me.

I thought after that day he will see me and fall in love with me and finally he will ask me to be his boyfriend but I was so damn wrong. He just shrugged it off saying it can never happen again. My heart broke in pieces when he said those words. I felt used, humiliated but it was all my fault. No one's but mine. I pursued him in to having sex with me again the stupid me thinking that he will eventually fall in love with me.

It was difficult to put him in my bed again you know, but since he was a horny dog, he didn't have a choice. Yes he resisted many times but there were times when he doesn't have anyone to fuck and I was there. I seduced him.  He accepted and I was the happiest but even though I gave him all of me and made sure I satisfy him, he still went and had sex with other people. It's like he was on a mission, looking for something, by that time I didn't know what but now I know what he was looking for. He was looking for killian in us.

It hurt so much!

I wanted him for myself but he didn't want me like I wanted him.

It always hurt me.

He always showed me were I belong and that's being his friend nothing more.

I hated it so much but that's the only way I could have him and I have always appreciated that because he didn't have any interest in anyone. I thought he will fall in love with me when he sees me more and more and since Killian wasn't in the picture anymore, I thought he will forget about him. The hateful thing anyone could endure was being fucked by the man you love but the only thing he does was to moan killian's name. That hurt but it was all my fault plus I thought it will pass sooner or later because killian was no longer there.