Summer Love // Niall Horan

Chapter 53 - Sunshine or Rain

|| ISABELLE ||

The eventful night seemed to continue as me and Tiffany watched the sky coated in navy blue rested upon the heavens above us. The shining stars seemed to calm my aching soul which somehow, relaxed and forgot the pain that keeps on barging in, the tense that was in my body was starting to go away and my mind seems to forget the painful events and became blank for awhile, which is something I wanted now. The atmosphere is nice and cooperating with my mood too, calm and peaful. That was, until Tiffany asked me a question.

"So, you think it can actually work?" Tiffany's gaze was patying attention on me, more liked studied me looking for an answer.

'Do I really think it can actually work?' I asked myself. I myself too is unsure about the decisions I made and will make. I was getting pretty anxious whether if I made the right decision on this major events and if every decision I made was enough for the situation, whcih I think is not enough. I know in myself that if I am in a pretty bad case, I make the most unwise decisions which is why I avoid getting in this kind of situations, but life is one big jerk and now, I just don't know if I even have the right options that is best for this one big mess that has been created by me and made worse by me again. Most of all, I am so unsure about my feelings towards Niall. Yes, he did somehow showed that he is willing to make up for his mistakes, but questions still keeps on coming on my mind, random and serious questions, which is why, I end up having lots of headaches which is not good for me especially that I had been almost beaten to a pulp by those fuck-ups which is why I have a bruise on my stomach and a deep wound on my wrist.

"I do, I mean--I don't know, I think so." Was the first thing that came to my mind which made me hate myself even more, ugh. The struggle was so real, even Tiffany noticed I was having a hard time on everything including this.

"Well, let me emphasize to make things a lot more easier to process, If Niall truly loves you, how come he let Barbara go sat with him, have coffee together and be engaged in some conversation?" Well, that hit me harder than getting hit by a bus would feel like, but a part of me says she is true on..everything.

"Maybe Niall just-- I don't know, catch up with her?" I'm so stupid, oh my. I looked away at embarassment and focused myself on the sky that was watching my stupidity.

"Catch up? With an ex-date," My eyes looked up to her and she was staring into my eyes, like pointing out something. She stops herself on saying something, knowing that I despise 'NarBara' before and maybe until now that I finally saw them together with my own eyes live and not on articles and newspapers. She took a deep breath and spoke, "Or maybe even an ex-girlfriend?" There was no confirmation whether Niall and Barbara had a thing or not, some said they did, but majority said no. Before, I went with the 'no' because after all, it was management prying on their lives, but now, my mind says that they did have a thing and what's worse is that in my heart, I know they did.

And that makes that kiss which I thought was the answer to all our problems, the needle that stitches up two broken people together once again, an anchor that keeps our ship steady when a big wave hits it in my perspective, a break-up kiss or one big mistake, or maybe even both.

Tears once again find it's victory and that's when I started crying again for who knows how many times already. There is no way this is one fairytale wherein someone will save you nor someone will just magically appear and stops the pain and lets you be happy. This whatever we had is far from getting better as I slowly find out why everything is that, it's falling apart faster than it should be.

"What am I going to do now? I just can't tell myself that everything will be alright and feel like nothing is happening when in reality there is!" I screamed, not too loud for the people inside the cabin would hear but enough to be heard if you are on our range. My fist wherein there is no wound came in contact with the hard wood which I suddenly regret because even though there isn't any wound in there, it still somehow ache so bad, making me curse and bite my lip in agony while Tiffany let out a gasp.