Book Reviews

Review 5 ➣ @writingjuniper

Angel full of flowers - 5 chapters

Title: There are a few title references in the first chapter, but I can't say it's particularly interesting.

Cover: I usually don't prefer cursive fonts for covers, but this one was pretty legible. Cover was elegant to match its title.

Grammar: Sentence structure could be better but overall, it did not impede readability. Well done.

Writing style: If you employ the Show or Tell technique better, you'll improve. Generally, you seem to do well with telling and lack in the showing department.

Setting descriptions could be in more detail.

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Characters:

Camellia - Although her reactions to somethings made me dislike her, I can see her strong conviction to stay in school. So even when she's pushed around by Angel, I can't pin her as gullible.

In the fourth chapter, she decides to out Angel. And again, I can't sympathize with her decision but the way she finds a way to do it in the fifth chapter is quite clever and good in-the-moment thinking.

Angel - First impression was great, but it was a massive disappointment from there onwards.

We learn that Angel does not want to actually be disguised as a girl and roam in a girl school, which puts a new perspective on the character, I suppose. (Despite the added depth for the character, I cannot say that it was worth all the harmful stereotypes it lent itself to.)

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Chapter 1

The story begins with a letter written to the protagonist-Camellia's- late mother, which is a intriguing start, for sure. However, the next two paragraphs are a report on the rest of her life. Telling, rather than showing the protagonist's past. I'm certain there are better ways to show us her family dynamics and backstory. 

The meet-cute of the protagonist and the romantic interest could be improved. Rather minute details of Angel were observed, like a beauty mark. I'd advise to hold off on the intimate details for later and focus on giving more insight as to her character. 

"I-Is there a problem?"    - the stuttering could be more realistic if written as "Is there-uh, is there a problem?" or a similar manner. 

As a new student, Camellia is bound to have to introduce herself a couple of times on the first day. But including such niceties in the book more than once is unnecessary. 

There was inaccuracies regarding the corset. If Angel has been at the girl school for sometime, they must have gotten used to the corset and would not be in such pain; some research is in order.

Chapter 2

The writing style shifts from fifty percent casual (chap 1) to one hundred percent casual (chap 2.) Deliberate or not, this looks sloppy. Consistency is key.

I had been humiliated, defiled!  - The word defiled seemed out of place here. It's too harsh to describe the boy's treatment towards her. Defiled has sexual implications and usually connotes rape.