Book Reviews

Review 16 ➣ @NoriMerino

My Bad Agent - 6 chapters

I. OUTSIDE ELEMENTS

Title: 7/10
On paperbacks, I've rarely seen titles in the first person but I guess it doesn't really matter in Wattpad. Good fit for the genre.

Blurb: 4/10
the characters are described with two to three words like "muscular but lovely" "hot headed" "Well put, nonchalant" - it was very noticeable because it was done for every character mentioned.

It's said that the mc's life is "dull" and this man changes things up. Why is her life boring? An agent's life is generally considered exciting so exploring it isn't for her would describe more of her character than "hot-headed."

I would suggest describing more about the cold case that's the plot of the story? When you engage with that, you'll bring in these romantic interests in a more natural way.

And it doesn't need to be said that the colleague she bickers with is actually attracted to her. It's already slightly implied by it being referenced in the blurb. Readers can read between the lines.

Cover: 2/10
Title touches the corners, which gives me the icks. And there's two completely different fonts being used, not pleasing to the eye at all. The background picture is alright.

Other: there's an index with the chapter names and the page numbers and all that. That was new. There was a small format problem but otherwise, I thought it was fun.

II. CHAPTERS

Chapter 1: seeing a lot of errors. she got a new case with the colleague she hates. I suggest emphasizing the fact that she has only one out of fie chances left to stay in the agency. And when she's worrying (or any emotion that fits her character) about it, the hated partner will seem more of an obstacle. Right now he seems like just an annoyance to her work. And focusing on the importance of the given case would show readers why it is her inciting incident.

Chapter 2: love how you compared mother and daughter as a way of providing physical description, but I would prefer if details that shine light on their personality were included. Ask yourself, 'what does this physical characteristic say about my character?' Apply this to the bodyguard as well.

Numbers are better written as words (twenty instead of 20).

Quick recap on the outline of a good scene - character goes in with a plan. character meets obstacle. character has to adjust their plan to get past obstacle. however, there's can be one obstacle the character can't move on from, which either reveals something about themselves, reveals something vital to the plot, or furthers the plot. So in this chapter, to make that reveal of the mc's past more shocking, I suggest a buildup of tension using the scene layout. [For example, the mc can go in with the plan of remaining calm and peaceful to rub it in her mother's nose. But the mother and cousin coddling together can make her realize how that's not going to be easy. Then, maybe she adjusts her plan and decides to not interact with her mother at all and simply talk to the other family members, thus keeping calm. However, it gets to the point where the mother accuses her of leaving, or one of the family members she was talking to asks why the mc left her home, out of curiosity, which makes the mc burst. This is already what's in your chapter, I'm just creating a buildup out of the same content.]