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Click here, submit your request, let me help you with constructive criticism and pointing out the hidden gems in your book. A review, simply put.
By the end of our journey, I promise to change your view on writing as a taxing task and une...
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I. OUTSIDE ELEMENTS
Title: I'm not one hundred percent sure of the relevance but I do see a hint with the neuroskel she's constructing at the moment. I might be wrong. But I don't expect to glean much about this from four chapters so no worries.
Blurb:I love the tone of the blurb! Super job capturing the voice of the character. I just have a few big-picture suggestions and two line edits.
First big picture question - the stakes ('highly probable danger and doom to everyone else's') while definitely highly motivating, does not seem personal enough to the main character. What does she stand to lose specifically?
Second big picture problem - I think you can add more context. Yes, world building might bore the audience but some clues to which century (time) and location (setting) will be helpful for readers.
Third big picture problem - you mention the Zavlovo academy. Which readers can quickly identify as some sort of educational institution. Then two paragraphs later, you use the word Zavlovian. Because of the gap between these two instances and the novelty of the word, readers can be confused on whether Zavlovian means people who live in that particular city or students of that school. Sometimes schools are named after the location it is situated at so that's why my brain that connection and got confused.
Line edit - the first sentence can be split into two. After 'not too long ago,' end the sentence there.
I'd say a few commas are missing here and there. I'm gonna recommend a faithful friend Grammarly which has a free option anyone can use.
Another genuine question because I haven't been on wattpad for quite awhile now: what does a 'x5 Wattpad Featured novel' mean?
Cover: The font although thin is still something you can pick out against the dark background. And I like how the font color is used in the upper part of the cover too. Damn. Nice work.
II. CHAPTERS
Chapter 1: great beginning conversation in my opinion.
