OUTSIDE ELEMENTS
Cover
i really liked the simplistic cover. there were not a lot of distracting elements. the title stands out quite well. loved the color contrast too!
one thing that might do better is the line beneath the title. i had to zoom in to read it clearly. might help to change the font size on that one.
Title
i got the reference by the third chapter. good. i think you should keep coming back to it and have a deeper meaning to it. it's a nice touch either way.
Blurb
the blurb gives readers a good feel for the conflict that's going to happen. the moral dilemma the main character is going to face. it gives away the genre as well.
but the format needs work. if you're writing dialogue, it has to look like this. "blablabla." don't leave spaces between the punctuation. and if you're starting a new paragraph, leave a whole line blank. it looks a little messy right now.
CORE ELEMENTS
Characters
i think the description of characters need more depth. please check out the Editing chapter in this book for a more detailed explanation. the pictures of characters in between the narrative were not for me, to be honest.
Writing Style
grammar and your style has room for improvement. in your first chapter, the first line is in first person. the second line switched to second person. this is an ongoing problem.
additionally, look up the use of each punctuation. they can't be used in any scenario. they're not replaceable with each other. for example, i noticed that you often follow up a thought with ; so let's say the line is 'anyone would do that for him; she thought.' this is grammatically incorrect.
ellipses only have 3 dots, don't use more than that. move to a new paragraph when someone else is speaking.
Plot
i think the pace was good. in each chapter, new information was revealed.
A/N note:- thank you for submitting your book for a review.
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