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Title: An archaic actiony word so I don't know how it works with the story. But only eleven chapters have been posted so I'm not dissatisfied with not knowing. Some books be like that.
Cover: I suppose it gives a romance vibe? A little out of genre range, in my opinion. The font is neat and there aren't distracting elements, those are good.
Blurb: There was some link between the cover and blurb with the definition given (lmao this may not be a 'link' and just unrelated things to others). "We find love in the most hopeless place" - this part gives me the idea of lovers who can't be together due to birthright or whatnot. A love that will, by all expectations, end in doom. Like, love between a vampire and werewolf. But that's not exactly what's happening in the book, is it? Of course, there'll be obstacles (internal and external) to their love, but not of this kind I think. So that phrase feels like it's just there for lyricism and out of place. I'd say the second half of the blurb gives away nothing. Even if the author has chosen particular words to reflect the story, they are still broad words like "lust, hope, growth and forgiveness" and mean absolutely nothing to readers who are looking for reasons to open your book.
And I didn't see a sneak peak of any of the actual problems Edgar will face? Nor what she has to lose. Those are things I think are necessary. If there's one thing to take from this blurb commentary, it's the last two things I mention.
Grammar and Writing style: All good! Writing style fits the kind of story. There were spelling errors once or twice. No complaints whatsoever.
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Chapter I
- There's a description of her flat stating that the hallways/passages are filled with marijuana smoke and then and there we're given a little peek into her past life and learn she's an ex-addict. What I found odd was how unfazed she seemed to be living in an environment that is not healthy, especially for a former addict. I understand she can't afford another place at the moment. Setting that aside, I think the least she would feel is a spike of anxiety? One of the most common causes of relapse is being around addictive substances. What I would suggest is bringing up her past as she makes it a point to avoid that kind of space and takes a different route.
Chapter II
- A few spelling errors in this chapter.
- I like this Raven friend. Well, I don't like her personality. But she's written well.
Chapter III
- Charlie's last reply in their little conversation before Edgar runs off to Edward's place: "Just tell him I still love him." Why does it suddenly not have the accent/slur anymore? Edgar didn't act like anything was out of the blue. If the change is intentional and will pay off later, good. I not, then what's going on?
Chapter IV
- Proof read this chapter. There was like, one missed period.
