Book Reviews

Review 7 ➣ @Yagya_SskY

Pick Your Poison - 5 chapters

Title: Didn't come across title relevance yet. No comment.

Cover:  The font for the title could be better. I had to peer at it to read. The colour scheme is nice, though.

Blurb: The introduction of the two main characters is excellent. The conflict between them is hinted at.

But that's where it ends, unfortunately. The author must try to include the reasons as to why this conflict affects Ivanna especially. Furthermore, the stakes have to be mentioned; what does Ivanna stand to lose due to this conflict?

Characters:

~ Ivaana ~

In the first chapter, her key motivation is stressed as living in the moment and trying to do what she wants. However, this mindset is not hinted at in her thoughts in the latter chapters.

She finds a connection with a guy she never met, which I find slightly problematic. But I won't dwell on it since I know teenagers and even adults have obsessions and conjured emotional connections with celebrities or idols. Additionally, Ivaana met her best friend through a sketchy online site, so I'm not surprised.

~ Katniss ~

I'm convinced that she would be the mom friend of the group.

Nothing much to add for her, though this might indirectly reflect on the depth of her character.

~ Jayden ~

I understand that he's a smashingly hot, devilishly handsome lad lusted over by the society in the book, but I can't take this man seriously, I'm sorry lmao. (Only two interactions with him in the first five chapters, so I can only present the first impression.)

Writing style: There are moments where lyrical language is used for setting description, A for effort and B for quality.

Trigger warnings need to be used for chapters that include, mention or deal with sexual harassment, abuse etc.

Often, readers are taken through mundane scenarios with nothing noteworthy about it. I suggest editing those out.

Reactions and emotions of characters are written with the exact words. I think this stems from the fact that any emotion is always dialled to maximum capacity. For example, if the character is scared, it's written as if she was going to die. (I do not mean that as an insult.) Remember that people can feel various degrees of a certain emotion. Fear does not always have to be knees knocking together, teeth chattering, profusely sweating and so on. It can be looking over your shoulder as you walk home, it can be fidgetiness, the inability to relax, and be repeatedly checking if everything is okay.

I didn't particularly appreciate how characters were flawless by physical appearance. I'm sure the majority would agree that society isn't made up of Barbies and Kens. A diverse cast with different body images would be so much more interesting and realistic.

Grammar: I thought it would be better. Though, that's not to say that it was unbearable. A tip would be to use commas to create breaks between clauses in your sentences. Use a comma before referring to a name ("I want to maim you, Peeta.") 

I suggest finding an editor to help you out.

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CHAPTER 1

√  The sound grammar and smooth sentences gave a good first impression, but starting the story with a morning routine might make the reader impatient due to its lack of novelty.