Haven .|. H. J. POTTER✔

Chapter fifty-two

Soon, weeks had already passed without a single word exchanged between Harry and Haven since that morning in the corridors. 

It came as a surprise to Haven when she found out that it had been this long because of the fact that ever since she left Harry there, unable to dry the tears that streamed down his cheeks, she had felt as if the world had stopped turning. Life felt like an impossibly long Monday.

And that wasn't even the worst.

Haven wished she could say she didn't regret her decision. She wished she could say that it was a good thing that she didn't want to make the goodbye harder than it already was. But when she thought about the possibility of being in Harry's arms, holding his hand when walking through the castle, and kissing his soft lips, Haven regretted it very, very much.

The eternal Monday was not even better in maybe a tiny way - everything about it sucked and Haven hated it.

The scenarios of Haven's final goodbye flooded her mind - various versions of awkward tension, outbursts of anger and forever hatred were the ones her brain conjured the most. Maybe if she had accepted Harry's desire instead of denying her own, there could have been room for conversation with Harry - she could have opened her heart and told him her fears of the last time she'd see him. 

And that wasn't all Haven had stuck in her mind on the eternal Monday.

Dreams with images of him and her flushed together in a tender embrace - those three heavy words floating between them like unsaid words. Yet every time the dream came back, she could hear his voice - Harry telling her those meaningful and important words - and every time, her heart swelled up so big, she was sure it would float away.

The time Haven spent overthinking all her actions severely affected her concentration to study for her NEWTs but for once, Haven let herself distance herself from the work. It was a great deal to her - especially those three words.

Since her mother's death, she hasn't heard someone say it to her - not even once. The words were meaningful to her and she wasn't just going to wait for the suffocating thoughts to leave her. 

I love you.

Simple words, impactful meaning. 

God, Haven needed to know if she could say those words to Harry - and if she could bear to hear them from him. If these thoughts had spooked her mind before Harry confronted her, the ending might have been wholly different. Never once before in her life had she even contemplated saying these words to anyone other than her mother.

And now - after pushing Harry away from her in the last months of being able to see him - she felt like she made a big mistake. Maybe the two of them being doomed from the start only made their time more beautiful. Their tragic ending would never make them more beautiful than they could ever be in the last two months - they would never be there again. In that right place.

Sighing to herself and clutching new books fresh from the library to her chest, Haven made her way down to the Great Hall - hoping to get some studying done there, rather than in the common room. The students were all getting noisier by the day and Haven had little time for that. 

Since May second was approaching, the news of a memorial on that day was announced. Professor McGonagall got some students to decorate the Great Hall where it would be held in appropriate colours and some to hold a speech. Haven wasn't sure if Harry was asked but she couldn't imagine him agreeing to hold a speech in front of all the students and family members of the deceased. Even after all those conversations he had about it with Haven, the thought of talking about the battle with others made him sick in his stomach.