"Mariella, Noah's here!" my mom shouts from downstairs.
"Just send him up!" I shout back. I don't bother looking up from the bridge I'm attempting to make with a deck of playing cards. I know i could do it properly at one point or another, but apparently i've forgotten. The corners of the cards poke out in every direction as i attempt to bend the cards to my will.
Sitting on the floor, I shift with the uncomfortable anticipation of Noah's arrival. I can hear an overly dramatic sigh from my mom as she walks away from the bottom of the steps.
"Fine, but make sure your door is open." I roll my eyes and hope she can feel my annoyance all the way downstairs.
She hates boys being in my room. It's not like anything will happen. Ali and her boyfriend Robin are here, too, and I've never been the type to show any kind of PDA, even in front my bestfriend. Noah and I have been distant lately, anyways. For reasons I don't like to dwell on. I don't think either of us are in the mood to be affectionate.
I hear heavy footsteps pounding on the stairs and automatically know Noah's wearing the boots I got him last Christmas. No other shoe could make such a ruckus. The boots are heavy duty and it's a good 95 degrees outside, so I know he wore them just for me. It's a nice gesture.
"Do you want me to shuffle instead?" Ali asks, her brown eyes shifting to the mess I've made while attempting to shuffle the playing cards. I can tell she's itching to fix them into a neat pile.
"All yours," I say, handing her the deck in pieces with a grateful smile. Her slender, tan hands masterfully shuffle the cards like it's no biggie. I let out a sigh at my own incompetence.
"What's up," Noah says with a jerk of his head while peering in to my room. I take in his whole appearance as he lingers in the doorway. His warm brown hair sticks out in every direction as it just misses the top of my doorway, his hazel eyes jumping from Ali to Robin to me. His skin is a warm, olive-y tone, the kind that looks tan even in the dead of a snowy winter. I notice a sliver of paler skin poking from under his t-shirt sleeve. I wonder when he had time to get a tan. I thought he'd be too busy for anything but air conditioned classrooms these days. He examines our small triangle sitting on the rug and plops down next to me. He hesitates before finally putting his arm around my shoulders. I flinch a little at the physical contact. I don't mean to, its just kinda something that happens when I'm really tense. I internally cringe at myself for letting my anxiety physically manifest. The flinch is the tiniest movement that normally no one else would notice from an outside perspective, but Ali sees. She makes fleeting eye contact before going back to her careful card shuffling, her impossibly long, honey brown hair falling into her face as her lips purse slightly. I'm grateful that she lets it go. Sitting with Noah's arm draped heavily from shoulder to shoulder, I inwardly wish he would hold my waist. This feels too brotherly, like a friend, not a boyfriend.
"Sup'," Robin says with a nod and a grin. I guess 'what's up' just means hello these days. I never know how to respond to that when it's said to me (do you respond like they asked 'how are you' or like they said 'hello'?), but Robin is the kind of guy who would never overthink a reply like that. Everything about him screams casual and collected.
"Hey Noah," Ali says in a friendly tone, but I can tell she's observing him. Being careful. She knows how strained our relationship has been recently. I tell her almost everything and I know her better than i know myself. Which is how I know her cheerful exterior to Noah harbors an icey interior.
"What're we playing?" Noah asks excitedly. He's a tad bit competitive. His excitement makes me smile a tiny smile. I still love him, I think to myself. No matter how weird or tense things have been lately. I can't imagine my life without him.
"It's up for debate. Elle wants to play Slap Jack, but I just don't see how that can work with more than two people. Too many hands." Ali's use of my nickname makes me feel warm. Something about being called one thing by the rest of the world and another by the people closest to you really hits me in the sentimental spot. I really lucked out in the friend department. "Go fish is clearly the best game for this amount of people," she finishes, attempting to annoy me since she knows I'm sick of her Go Fish obsession.
"I told you! I've done Slap Jack with six people before, it'll be fine, I swear," I reply. I'm trying to say it in a serious, convincing way but I smile the whole time, ruining any attempt at intimidation.
"Well, I still vote for a good round of Cards Against Humanity," Robin says, eyeing the black box tucked under the shelf of my bedside table.
"Save that for the beach house, Robin. it's no fun sober," Noah says with a twinkle in his eyes. He winks at Robin and Ali. I frown and turn as he looks towards me. Two things bother me about that statement: 1) Noah never lets me drink. The second reason being that-
"You know I wish I could come," he whispers in my ear.
Noah won't even be there this year.
I know he has no option. his summer school is demanding a lot of extra time from him and this group project sounds really important to him and his grade. He wants to go to college with a few credits so he can graduate early or something. I just wish we had some time to rekindle our original giddiness for each other. This trip is really sentimental to me, to us. Usually. I'm tired of this distance, I don't do well with feeling alone.
I hesitate before kissing his cheek and feel his rough stubble scrape against my lips. I fight a shudder. He really needs a shave.
"I know. I just miss you is all," I whisper back. It's true. I do miss him. Through it all, i miss him all the time. I'm just not sure the Noah i miss is the Noah sitting next to me. He gives me a dismissive smile before turning his attention back to the more important matter at hand: playing cards.
"So, Slap Jack it is, then?" he asks but it sounds more like a decision than a question. Ali rolls her eyes, but I know she loves Slap Jack just as much as I do. Her not-so-well-hidden smile gives away her excitement as she deals out the cards. Noah's arm drops from my shoulder as he picks up his stack of cards and I'm suddenly out of breath. I guess I'd forgotten to breath while he held me. I'm relieved he's distracted with the game.
"I'll be right back, bathroom break. Start without me," I say and begin to stand up. I need to refresh. Noah slides his arm down my forearm as i rise from my seat on the floor. He looks up at me and gives me a quick squeeze on my hand. It's small, but the gesture is nice. Though for some reason, instead of reassuring me, it makes me miss him all over again. It's so weird how you can be touching someone, looking them in the eyes, and missing them at the same time. It used to be that any small tug or accidental brush would send butterflies loose in my stomach. Now all I feel is unease. I know he really does wish he could come on the annual beach trip. He clearly wants to close this distance, too.
I mean, I assume that he does.
It seems like he does.
He does.
I walk across my rug to the open door and take a second to look back at my friends. The game has only just started and already Ali is accusing Robin of slapping her hand too hard while Noah looks on and chuckles. My life may not be perfect, but for the most part I wish it would never change. At least it's stable and reliable. But I'm not naïve enough to confuse what I wish to happen with what life wishes to happen. With a small smile on my face, I turn away from my circle of friends as they playfully bicker over game rules.
YOU ARE READING
The Beach House
Romance--completed- Mariella looks forward to going to the beach house every single year. She's gone with her friends for as long as she can remember. The same people, the same house, the same summer feeling. But this year something's different: her boyfri...
