Eventually, my laughter dies out, leaving just the left over tears in the corners of my eyes. I've always been the kind of person who cries when they laugh. Ali pulls herself together and stands up to shower, leaving me alone on the floor with my severely dead phone. I look at the screen sitting between my legs and find a piece of it has completely come off. I pick up the piece of broken glass and twirl it in my hand. Looking in the soft reflection of the glass fragment, I see my face for the first time today. I pat away the tears of laughter and set down the glass.
Standing up to look in the full length mirror, I take in every detail of myself. I'm wearing the same clothes as last night and they're still slightly sandy which means there's probably sand in my bed, too. Great. I look in the mirror and can't find myself in the layers of fabric covering my body. I slip off my clothes until I'm standing in just my bra and underwear. Looking at myself like that, it's hard to see any good in myself. I search desperately for something I love, something that pleases me and come up empty. My stomach juts out over the line of my underwear, my arms flatten against my sides, and my thighs touch each other like they're magnets that refuse to be separated. I look down to my hip and trace my tattoo with my finger.
Just moments ago, I was laughing with my bestfriend until my stomach hurt and I couldn't breathe. Now I'm here looking at the undesirable lump that is me. I press into the bend of my hip bone, hoping to make it stick out more just by the touch of my hand.
Moving my eyes up to my face, I remember the way it felt to be kissed by Soren. Surely, he must've seen something desirable in me. I try to find what it is but come up empty handed. I stare at my jaw and the slight double chin that always shows up unless I'm posing. Noah doesn't see anything desirable in me. And he's known me for forever. It's confusing to think about myself through the eyes of boys. Is there really anything there that they like?
I look down at my feet and watch them carry me over to my duffle. I watch my arms pick out an outfit and dress me while my eyes give the final signs of approval. I apply makeup to ensure that no one assumes anything is off. Today I use waterproof mascara, just in case. By the time Ali is out of the shower, I'm completely put together, but my mood has soured since our burst of laughter.
"Mind if I take your car to the supermarket? I noticed yesterday that we've run out of food again," I say. Ali raises an eyebrow at me as she dries her hair with a face towel.
"Elle, i love you, but you're an awful driver," she replies.
"Well, duh, but I'm sure someone else will want to come."
Ali shrugs and turns to her bed while wrapping the towel expertly around her hair so it stays in on its own. She looks like the love interest in some 1960's movie. I push the monster of jealousy that's rising in my chest down.
"Fine with me. Just don't let Luke drive. He's almost crashed it, like, forty separate times and mom'll kill me if he gets hurt while we're here," she says.
"Got it."
I walk over to my bed and pull my cross body bag off of the bedside table. Inside is my wallet and some chapstick. Ali hands me the keys to her Jeep and i toss it in my bag. I throw my phone in there, too, just in case it starts working again. On closer inspection, i notice some sand in the wires of the phone where the part of the screen used to be. I don't think I'll be hearing from anyone anytime soon. I say bye to Ali head downstairs.
The boys have once again pushed their sleeping bags to the side, revealing the full expanse of the bottom floor. The only unmoved bag has Robin snoring loudly inside it. I wonder what time he came back downstairs. I step around the spidey sleeping bag and head over to the kitchen. Annika, Tess, Luke, and Soren are all huddled around the island talking very quietly. Everyone must be pretty hungover. I avoid looking at Soren as I head over to their group, but that doesn't stop the heat from rising to my cheeks. Stupid face. It can't keep any of my secrets.
"Hey, anyone wanna come to the supermarket?"
Four heads turn to me in unison when I speak and I look back expectantly.
Tess makes a face before replying, "I really need to work on my tan before the week is over." Luke snorts loudly at this comment but doesn't argue with Tess sitting out.
"Yeah, I'll come. Could use some more juice. Annika, are you coming?" Annika looks thrilled with Luke's invitation and responds with a full-hearted "yes!"
"As long as I don't have to drive, though," she adds. "The roads here are crazy damaged and I don't wanna deal with the wrath of Ali if something happens to her car."
"So it's settled, then," Luke says. "I'll drive."
"Actually, you're the only one Ali told me to specifically not let drive her car. Sorry," i reply.
Luke looks disappointed for a second before recovering. "Honestly, that's probably for the best. I've almost crashed her car, like, a hundred times."
I smile at his sentence. Ali said almost the exact same thing. I look between Annika and Luke and remember the dilemma at hand.
"Wait, then who's gonna drive?" I don't look at anyone when I say this because I know looking at Soren will only deepen my extremely embarrassing blush. I also know he's the only person left who can say yes.
"Soren'll drive, won't you?" Luke states. He says it like it's matter of fact instead of a question. I risk peeking at Soren to see his reaction. He has his hand on the back of his neck again, which seems to be his go-to anxious fiddle. He glances at me quickly as if asking if it's ok for him to join. I try my best to keep a neutral expression. When I don't move or change my facial expression, he turns back to Luke.
"Yeah, sure, dude. That's fine," he says. I pull at the sleeve of my hoodie and look at my feet to keep from showing any kind of reaction. Because, honestly, as awkward as I'm being right now, I'm happy Soren is coming along.
"Great! Let's go," Annika says and pulls Luke out to the driveway. I hurry after them to avoid being left alone with Soren. Annika and Luke leave me the front seat, presumably because of my motion sickness, but I'm feeling nauseated at just the thought of having to sit in the front alone with Soren.
YOU ARE READING
The Beach House
Romance--completed- Mariella looks forward to going to the beach house every single year. She's gone with her friends for as long as she can remember. The same people, the same house, the same summer feeling. But this year something's different: her boyfri...
