I wake up to someone jostling my shoulder. I try to ignore them but they're steady pushing is too annoying. I groan and turn over to face my dream-disturber. My eyes slowly flutter open and meet Ali's. The first thing I notice is that it's still dark out. There is no light coming from the window even though I know we forgot to close the shades. It must still be night. The second thing I notice is that I'm still fully dressed and so is Ali. I look and see my flip flops set neatly at the side of the bed. I can't remember how I even got into bed in the first place. I finally turn my eyes to Ali's face and groan.
"Ali, what time is it?"
"3:28 am. Move over," she replies. I smush over so Ali can sit at the edge of my bed.
"Why are you waking me up at 3:30 in the morning?" I complain.
"I told you, it's 3:28, not 3:30. And you have some serious beans to spill, missy." Her eyes are so excited, it's hard to not perk up a little. But still, her words are confusing.
"Spill the beans about what?" I inquire.
Ali's eyes practically bulge out of her head. "Considering the last time I saw you, you were in Soren's arms being carried to bed, I'd assume something about that."
Suddenly, my brain starts functioning again and I remember last night (or I guess a few hours ago) very clearly. At the same time that everything whirs back into my head, I remember all the shots I took with Annika. Or, more accurately, my stomach remembers all the shots I took. I jump up and run to the bathroom, gathering my hair back while I run. I lean over the toilet and vomit.
"God, every time," I hear Ali say behind me. Suddenly, a hand that isn't mine is rubbing my back while the another retrieves my hair from my own clammy clutches. I continue to retch the whole time.
After a solid 5 minutes of dry heaving, I begin to feel better. I slowly stand up and make my way over to the sink. I hear Ali flush the toilet. I lean my hand on one corner of the sink and brush my teeth with the other. Staring ahead into the mirror, I can see I still have makeup on. I turn on the faucet and rinse my mouth. I wash my face and remove my makeup with some of Ali's makeup wipes before reaching for a hairbrush. In the mirror, I can see Ali waiting for me to recover. I meet her reflection's curious gaze and walk back into the bedroom while gently raking the brush through my fragile hair. We both plop onto the edge of my bed.
"Well?" Ali says expectantly.
"Well what?" I reply innocently.
"What the fuck is going on with you and Soren?" She doesn't even attempt to hide her excitement.
"Literally nothing," I counter. "I'm with Noah, remember him? I'm pretty sure he gave you that bruise on the back of your hand playing slap jack just yesterday. Or two days ago, kind of. God, Ali, can't I go back to bed?"
"No. and you can like one person, but still be in a relationship with someone else at the same time. It happens. Labels don't stop your hormones from reacting." She says it like it's a "duh" but who else thinks of attraction as scientifically as Ali? No one, that's who.
"I don't like Soren," I say quickly. Ali looks unconvinced. "I mean, I like him as a friend, but truly just as a friend I literally met him today. Or yesterday, I guess."
Nice recovery. Really convincing, I think to myself.
"Okay, well, acknowledging that you don't like him," Ali says cautiously, "recount what you guys talked about."
"Nothing really. I can't remember very well." I frown. I hate not remembering things. My memory has always been my strongest asset. "I was just being regular, stupid drunk-Mariella. Wanting someone close. Laughing about things that aren't funny. The usual." I think back to the memory of being close to Soren and clench my eyes shut with my palm pushing into my right eye socket.
"Oh, yeah. Ugh," I groan.
"'Oh, yeah, ugh' what?" Ali pushes.
"Wanting someone close," I repeat then cringe. How embarrassing for Soren to see me like that. And for everyone to see him carry me upstairs. I hope they don't get the wrong idea. Especially when we just met not even 24 hours ago. But it doesn't feel like I've only known him a few hours. It feels like i've known him for years and only seconds at the same time.
"No!" Ali's voice jumps with energy. "What did you do?" I can tell whatever she's thinking is far worse than what happened.
"Oh my God, no Ali! Nothing like that." I can visibly see the excitement leave her body. "He just held me. It was platonic. It was...," I pause, looking for the right word. "innocent."
"Maybe you thought it was innocent, but how can you be sure Soren thought it was? And if it's innocent, you'll have no problem calling Noah and telling him right now." Her words spike panic in my chest. Why does she have to be so logical? Can't Ali just be dumb for a second?
"I can't call Noah, it's 3:30 am!" Even I can hear the anxiety in every word. I do not wanna deal with Noah right now. Just telling him I was drunk will be hard on it's own.
"Well, actually now it's 3:39 am," Ali corrects. "C'mon I'm just teasing. If you say it's innocent, there's nothing to tell him anyways."
"Yeah, I guess.... I still feel guilty, though. I don't know why."
Suddenly there's a pause. I look up to Ali and find her face to be pinched with thought. I can tell she's choosing her words carefully.
"Whatever you wanna say, just say it," I prod. Ali looks up and meets my eyes with a sigh of defeat.
"On the topic of Noah..."
"Yeah?"
"Have you considered just ending it? Soren aside, things haven't been right with you guys in along time. And I don't trust him. The way he treats you..." I sigh as I look at Ali's concerned face as she waits for my reaction. I know exactly what she's thinking about. Noah has fucked up pretty badly in the past. And I know it probably takes a lot for her to say this. It's why dating within the friend group is so messy and why no one's really done besides me and Noah until recently. Ali and Robin started up after winter break and all the strange pairings from tonight are news to me. I guess with college separation coming up, the lines are starting to blur.
"You don't need to trust him. I do. And I don't even know what it'd be like to be without him at this point. We've been together for so long..."
Okay, so in the adult world, two and a half years isn't so long. But when your life hasn't even spanned two decades, two and a half years is a lot. A whole, fat percentage. That's at least three different versions of yourself. That's most of my high school experience. And he's never not been around, even when we were kids. I've grown so much with Noah. I've grown so much because of Noah. And i like to think he's grown, too. Not having him around seems so... harsh.
"I don't know. It's obvi not my decision. But think about it? I just have a bad feeling," Ali concludes. I nod meekly, which seems to satisfy her, so she gets up and walks into the bathroom to prepare for bed. When she closes the door, I whip my dress off over my head and tuck myself under the covers. I'm vaguely aware that I've fallen asleep, but that doesn't stop my dreams from feeling any less real.
YOU ARE READING
The Beach House
Romance--completed- Mariella looks forward to going to the beach house every single year. She's gone with her friends for as long as she can remember. The same people, the same house, the same summer feeling. But this year something's different: her boyfri...
