The Beach House

Chapter 11: Yikes

I'm in my pjs in the beach house. In my favorite place. But something feels wrong. I walk through the living room and out through the sliding door. I'm immediately surrounded by an endless beach. I can't see the house anymore but I don't feel very concerned about that. I'm more concerned with what's standing in front of me.

Noah is there with his back to me. I'd know him anywhere. He's so familiar to me. I take a step towards him. Wasn't there something I wanted to talk to him about? What was it? And then I stop in my tracks. Because just as I start towards him, he turns around. And I can clearly see a girl wrapped in his arms. My Noah's arms. He kisses her head and uses a finger to push her chin up. He pecks her lips. Then they both look at me. There's no shame in his eyes. He looks proud of holding this girl, of being with her.

I thought seeing Noah with someone else would be the worst feeling, but seeing that someone else's face makes it so much more devastating. She's the exact opposite of me. Long, silvery blonde hair, eyes that are a lighter blue than I'd thought possible, her skin tan and even, her body barely more than bones, yet still soft and curvey. I tear my eyes away from her because it's too painful. Because she is all the things I wish I had. My biggest insecurities personified. I look back to Noah's face for an explanation, but he just smiles, his pride unwavering. I turn and run but there's no where to run to. Just miles of sand pushing against my desperate attempt to flee. Suddenly, I lose my balance. I'm heading face down towards the ground and-

I bolt upright in my bed, heart racing. I look around to reassure myself of my surroundings. My arm reaches up to clutch my speeding heart involuntarily.

"God, it was just a dream," I say to myself. There's a thin coat of sweat on every limb. I close my eyes, still sitting, and count the seconds until my breathing slows.

After a solid five minutes, I reopen my eyes and am surprised by the sudden light. In my momentary panic, I hadn't even realized that it's officially morning. The curtains are pulled open and Ali's bed is an empty mess of sheets. I reach over and grab my phone from where it's charging. First, i note my lack of texts and frown. I guess I'd thought Noah would've texted good morning to settle my panic. But how would he even know i was panicking? He's not here. I'm just being crazy. Second, i realize it's eleven in the morning.

I take a deep breath and feel my lungs stretch. There's the soft sound of conversation floating up from downstairs so everyone must already be up. Using the heels of my hands, I rub the sleep out of my eyes and start to get out of bed. I must've fallen asleep in just my underwear and bra because the second I leave the covers I feel a chill. I stand up and stretch my arms, enjoying the fact that I'm alone for a minute. Just as I'm starting towards the bathroom, I hear a knock.

"Ali?" I ask cautiously. The door squeaks open and the first thing I notice is that it's definitely not Ali.

Standing in my doorway is sandy blonde hair and a shocked face. I stop dead in my tracks, like I'm paralyzed. I lock eyes with Soren for a second before screaming.

"Oh my god!" My own voice shocks me out of my coma and I can finally move. I scramble to get behind the bathroom door and peek my head around with my body covered. My face is a violent red, i can feel it.

"Wow, I am so sorry, they just told me to come get you because everyone is ready, and I wasn't even thinking. I'm so stupid, I shouldn't have just come in, I'm-" I look at Soren's face and see he's covering his eyes with one hand. Part of his cheek is still visible and it's bright red like i'm assuming mine is. He has a hand out in front of him like he's afraid a wall will pop out of nowhere at any second. I can tell it's an honest mistake.

I try to stop his flood of apologies. "Uh, it's okay. I know it was an accident. Besides, you've seen me in a bathing suit, it's not, like, that different. Nothing to be embarrassed about," I ramble. I'm half convincing him and half convincing myself. Cause one thing's for sure: if there's a feeling that is outshining all other feelings right now, it's definitely embarrassment. I say each word so fast that I'm not even sure he can understand me until he responds in the same manner.

Soren nods quickly. "It was a complete accident," he full heartedly agrees. "I'm really so sorry. I can't believe I did that. They should've sent a girl or something. I'm so embarrassed." Each word sounds desperate and regretful. I can tell he's going to beat himself up over this all day.

"You're embarrassed?" I hear the surprised tone in my voice and try to restart. I really don't want Soren blaming himself for this. It's just a silly little accident. A silly little accident where he saw my almost naked body. "It's really fine," I say gently. "I'll be down in a minute."

"Okay," Soren says with relief and turns to leave with his hand still shielding his eyes. "So sorry, again. Really."

"Uh, Soren?"

He stops for a moment, his eyes still covered. I try not to laugh at the idea of him trying to navigate blind. "Yeah?"

"Please don't tell anyone about this," I beg. "We'd quite literally never hear the end of it." Also, I'm sure someone would eventually tell Noah and I don't wanna have that pointless fight.

"Of course not," Soren rushes to agree. He clearly doesn't want to relive this moment anymore than I do. He turns to leave and this time I let him. "See you downstairs," I hear him call from the hallway, his voice a little uneven.

The embarrassing encounter has me feeling more awake than ever. I'm so aware of every inch of skin on my body, like I'm electric. Almost as if I've had ten cups of coffee. I guess that's one way to snap out of exhaustion.

With my intruder gone, I can finally begin to get ready. I close the bathroom door and make my way over to the mirror. My cheeks are as bright as apples and my eyes are wild. All signs that I've just been asleep are gone. Well, except for my bed head. With the combo of the hair, my bright cheeks, and the crazy eyes, I look like i've been struck by lightening. I feel like I've been struck by lightening. I look to my body, to my blue underwear and white, cotton bra. My stomach is round and soft as always. My skin is pale as bone. But, for the first time in awhile, I don't consider these bad things. I look almost... well, radiant. Excited. Awake, at the least.

I bring my eyes back up and meet my own gaze in the reflection. Looking at me in the silence, I can't help it. I start laughing uncontrollably.