Love and destiny

25

The next day, I looked like a total mess. I had an eye bag and my head hurt so much. I looked at the mirror and said, 'Wow. I looked like I've just been up all night which is true.' I walked out of my bedroom, trying to get myself back on track. I took a quick shower and head downstairs to prepare breakfast for my family.

I cooked scramble eggs and baked beans along with French toast. Then my family and I gathered and ate our breakfast together like we usually do. All of a sudden, my brother, Ian asked, 'How come yesterday you just went to bed early, sis?' I was taken aback, not knowing what to reply and just said, 'Oh, I have work to do. That's why. Hahaha.' I shifted my focus on the food and ate it. I fake a smile and swallowed all the food.

Then, my dad said, 'Oh, Alice, there was a parcel for you. Did you buy anything from the online shopping website again?' I nodded, not wanting to tell him the truth. I was a bit relief that I didn't tell him about Aaron's plan before. I didn't want to disappoint my dad because of a guy. I cannot bear seeing my parents worried and sad of my current emotional state. No parents wanted to see their child heartbroken, right?

I quickly finished breakfast and went upstairs, bringing the present with me. I took a long deep breath to calm myself. 'Wow, what a great timing! Why does this present have to come today? A day after my break up.' I said, sighing heavily.

I began to unwrap the parcel and I saw a Pandora box. 'Hmm. Pandora? He really shouldn't be buying this kind of necklace. Any cheap necklace will do.' I said to myself. I tried to hold back my tears, looking at the ceiling, blinking back my tears. I began to open the box and saw a necklace being put in a small plastic bag. There was also a polishing cloth. I held the necklace on my right hand and looked at it closely. 'How pretty.' I said. I forced a smile and said, 'Why am I crying when I received such a beautiful necklace? I should not cry right now.''

It was a pretty necklace with a Magnolia flower in pink and a subtle hint of white around the edge of the pendant. I googled it and it is named, 'Pandora Magnolia Bloom Necklace.' Yes, it did seem like it suits me. I put in on and trying my best not to cry. I looked at the mirror to see how I looked.

"Alice, let's not cry for now. Magnolia? I wonder what does this flower means. I wonder why he pick this necklace out of all the others." I mumbled to myself.

I began to search the meaning of Magnolia flower. As you know, I am such a curious person. I don't know whether it is a good thing or not to be this curious.

"Hmmm what does this flower symbolize?" I said to myself. I began to reach my phone and typed it on google. I found a website and clicked it to read the details regarding the symbolization of this flower.

I read the description stated on the website, 'Okay so, magnolia symbolizes dignity and perseverance. It also symbolizes love for nature. Oh and the color of the magnolia flower signifies a certain symbol. Thus, the flower is a sign of innocence, and pink indicates shyness and is most often given to girls who have not yet realized true love.' I paused a bit and said, 'Okay, let's read more.' I began to scroll down more and read, 'Hmm, the colour pink symbolizes romance, love and femininity. And t says that this beautiful flower is going to be a beautiful gift for the one you love and it will make a clear statement that you have strong affection and love for this person.' I took a deep breath while trying to digest all the information I just read.

Then, I continued scrolling, 'Then, what does the white magnolia symbolize?' I searched for two different colours of Magnolia flowers because there were two colours in my necklace. The two colours were pink and white.

'Oh, I found it. So, white Magnolia flower is a symbol of purity, innocence and spirituality. The white Magnolia flower is there to send a message of kindness and innocence to anyone with love. This beautiful flower acts as a strong reminder of living your life according to your desires and to the desires of others.' I read.

'Okay, I like the message of both colours of the flowers. To summarise, pink symbolize strong affection and love meanwhile white gives a message of living my life according to my desires and also desire of others.'

I put away my phone and said, 'Okay, fair enough. Such a good meaning. Pretty sure, Aaron just randomly picked this without knowing the meaning of this flower. It is just me being so curious and expecting too much.' I laughed at my own silliness. I faked a laugh, trying to be cheerful. My heart hurt as I remembered how excited I was for the necklace's arrival.

Isn't it ironic? The necklace that I was anticipating of its arrival, it arrived a day after my break up. It was painful and made my heart hurt so bad up to the point I cannot breathe. I put the necklace back inside its box and kept in in my gift box.

"I will open it once I am ready and be able to move on from you, Aaron." I said to myself.

I looked at my phone and opened WhatsApp to chat Aaron. After all, we did agree to talk and be friends, right? I typed, 'Aaron, guess what happen?' A few minutes later, he replied, 'What is it?' I told him that the necklace arrived and attach a photo of it. He replied, 'Just think of it as a thank you gift instead.' We talked a bit and I could feel that our conversation is not lively like we usually did. It was such an awkward conversation with me finding all the topic to talk to him.

I could see that he is hurting as well. From what I could feel and see from his replies, I could tell that he has no mood to talk to me today. So did I. I randomly asked if he has made up with his sisters yet. 'Well, not yet. I will go to their house and settled it with them soon.' He replied. I asked if he is alright. He then replied, 'I had no appetite to eat but I'm going to meet my friend and let out my problems.' I replied, in a worried manner, 'Make sure you eat something when you meet up with your friend.' To be honest, my heart felt heavy throughout the conversation I had with Aaron just now. Who knows we ended up like this? I wiped my tears and went to bed.

I laid on my bed and wondered, 'I wonder if we still have hope. Will the sisters give us chance?' I closed my eyes and flashbacks of the past kept on reminding me. 'If only we met up on that day, will it be any different? Will our situation gets better? Was it all my fault? I couldn't help it but to blame myself for what is happening to us.' I said to myself. The time I spent with him defined me. I could never throw those memories away.

I spaced out for a while. I'm left with nothing to do. All the things that I usually do with him reminds me of him. Is this what a break up is like? It was already midnight and I still cannot sleep. I looked at the presents that was from him, placed at the corner of my room. I listened to slow sentimental songs while thinking of him. 'My entire room is filled with memories of you and now, with tears.' I said, while wiping my tears away.

I remembered how almost every night will be filled with him, his voice and his laughter. Now, my nights were so lonely and filled with my tears. I spent a lot of time, just reading at his chats that have filled my phone. I looked at our photos and I burst in tears. I cried uncontrollably and I received a message from Aaron.

I read his replies, "Hi, I am home." I replied immediately and asked how his day was. Aaron replied, 'I still didn't eat anything and I almost have no energy to walk back home.' It really did hurt my heart when I knew his condition today. Was it because of me? Was he hurting so much because of our break up? I cried and scolded him to always eat his meal starting from tomorrow.

"I just want to cry a lot for today. Just leave me alone and I will be alright tomorrow." He replied. I was trying my best not to cry and be positive. I replied, 'Yes, take your time but don't act like this too long. I will feel sad if we act like this.'