Love and destiny

26

Is life even fair? Why do we need to suffer like this just for the sake of others? All I ever wanted was a happy ending with him. A part of me will always be curious on the mindset of the sisters. Another part of me was trying to accept the reality of what's been happening in my life.

The next few days went so fast and I could not even remember what I was doing for the past few days. All I could remember was my heart still feeling hurt and pain in the chest. Aaron seemed to be doing better and I was glad to see that. I did asked, 'If there is any hope for us?' Unfortunately, his replies made my heart dropped and stung. He replied, 'I don't see any hope. There isn't a way to convince them.' I was about to replied and suggested something like 'Can I talk to your sisters and have a discussion?' However, I deleted it and thought, 'Wouldn't it make the situation become more complicated? Wouldn't I ruin it more than I originally did?'

I took a deep breath and faked a smile, trying to be positive. Toxic positivity, I know. I looked at the calendar and it showed that a week has passed. Another week left for our so called anniversary. I was excited for that day, 15 th of July, the first day of our relationship. Who would've known that we broke up 10 days before our anniversary? Did Aaron even realized that? I knew about it since the moment we broke up. I wondered if he is willing to spend this special date with me. I looked pretty desperate, right. Maybe I could win him back and his sisters' heart too.

I asked my best friends, Linda and Wendy for advices. I told Wendy about my break up a few days ago. Even she couldn't believe the reason why both Aaron and I broke up. 'It is funny how the sisters think of you that way. Like what kind of mindset do they have? That's just not right.' I sighed heavily, not knowing what to reply.

I typed a question in our group chat, named, Chicas, 'Girls, do you think I should ask him?' Wendy then replied, 'Yes sure! Go for it.' A few seconds later, Linda then replied, 'Just try and ask him. Spend and make good memories with him as much as you can. But don't get too emotionally attached. It may be not like what you expected.' I nodded and kept that in mind. I put my hand on my chest and said, 'Take a risk. It's either a yes or a no.'

Okay, green light from my besties. Now, time to ask Aaron. I looked up for a second, took a deep breath and exhale. I clicked on his profile and saw that he was online like 5 minutes ago. I began to typed, 'Hi Aaron. How are you?'

Yes, a typical conversation starter. Ping! A message from Aaron. 'Yeah, I'm good. Hbu?' I typed, asking if he is free next week. He then replied, 'Why? Is it weekdays or weekends? You know how my work schedule is right?' I sighed, trying to hide my embarrassment and typed, 'So you see, our so called anniversary is next Wednesday. I don't know if you notice it or not. So I was wondering if we can at least spend a day together and act as a couple for that one day.' I hit my head and said to myself, 'How dumb and embarrassing. Pretty sure, Aaron thinks I am so desperate.'

Ping! A message from Aaron. My heart beat faster than ever and I swiped up to look at the message. 'Yes, sure. I'll do it for you.' My lips formed a smile and I asked him for one small request, 'And can we video call for one last time on that day?' He replied, 'How about we just call? I don't know if I can stop myself from crying.' I replied without thinking it carefully and typed the usual response I usually did, 'But I miss seeing your face.' As soon as I clicked send, I just realized it. I was about to delete it and change it to another appropriate response but Aaron already read it.

'Well, I couldn't say no to that. Okay, I'll try to be free on that day and come home earlier than I usually do.' He replied. I smiled and said to myself, 'I really hope I can have a good memory with you.'

I closed my eyes and prayed for the best for me and Aaron. 'I hope we can get back together and please soften his sisters' heart to accept me in their family.' I always wanted a sister. Perhaps, Aaron's sisters can be like my sisters and take care of me like their own sister. I hope and always hope that one day, their heart will accept me and have good thoughts of me.

A few days passed and Aaron seemed to be ignoring me. My heart hurt as this was the first time he ignored me. Being ignored by someone who means the world to you was really heartbreaking. I don't want to go through that ever again. I chatted him for the past few days and he only seen my messages. I sent a long paragraph of messages saying that we should have at least one good memories together if he didn't want to keep our 3 months deal anymore. I couldn't take it anymore. I felt like I was the one who wanted to keep in touch with him and he didn't care about it. It sucks when you are the one who is still holdng on to someone.

Instantly, he replied, 'Okay. I am sorry for not replying. I am at my sisters' house. Please don't overreact and yes, let's cut the deal off.' My heart broke in pieces and I replied, 'Do you really mean it? Our 3 months deal of not talking to anyone is cancelled?' He replied, 'Yes. We are free to talk to anyone and we are just normal friends now.' I asked, 'Normal friends? Meaning we are no longer contact each other frequently anymore?' He replied, 'Yes.' My lips were quivering and I thought to myself, 'How can he easily let me go? Perhaps, I am not important to him anymore.'

The next day, straight at 12 Am and my last request began, Aaron started the chat with a formal greeting. 'Hello.' I forced myself to smile and swallowing my pride, pretending that there was no signs of awkwardness happen between us before. I replied, 'Hello darling. How was your day?' And he replied just like he usually did before. 'Yes, I am doing well, baby. Oh what are you doing now?' I faked a smile, knowing that things would not be the same even though how hard I try to hold onto it. We chatted for a while and Aaron sent a message that made me cried, 'Happy Anniversary. One year of love and fun. Thank you for all the memories all this time.' I shook my head, trying to focus on the chat. I replied, 'Thank you too darling. I didn't expect us to have one year relationship together.'

Then he called me. That was the first time we called after we broke up. That was the first time we called as strangers with memories. 'Hello?' He said. I whispered, 'hello too.' I tried my best to sound alright and not bursting into tears when I heard his voice.

"I missed hearing your voice. So, how was your class? Have you done all of your assignments?" He asked.

I talked about pretty much what's been happening in my life for the past few days. We did say I love yous like we usually did. I didn't know if he really meant it or was all of this just for the sake of keeping his promises to me. I couldn't sleep that night and that morning, I woke up and had a massive headache. I had a dream that night. I dreamt of Aaron, who might come back to me. I smiled as I remembered the dream, knowing that it will never happen.

Aaron chatted me like he usually did back when we were still together. I smiled, hoping if this is just a dream. What happened to us on 5th of July was just a dream. Unfortunately, that's not how reality works. I replied with a cheerful tone and hoping that this last request will bring happy memories for the both of us. Throughout the day, Aaron chatted me with the usual tone and emojis he usually use. I felt relief and soothed myself away from all those negative thoughts that had been haunting my mind for the past few days.

It was half past nine and Aaron came back home earlier than he usually did. He kept his promise and we ended up video call each other for a few hours. During the video call, I tried my best to seem alright with the break up. I ended up staring at his face and memorized all the details of his face. I won't be able to look at his flawless face ever again. His smiles, his dimples, his laughter, and his presence in my life. I will miss that. Without even noticing it, my tears fall through my right eye. Aaron asked me a few questions before like how had I been handling our break up issues. He seemed to be coping it really well. He said he is getting better and did not cry at all today. I took a deep breath, and asked if he really wanted to end our 3 months deal. He nodded and said that let's just be regular friends that do not contact frequently. I faked a smile and agreed with him signaling that I am fine with it.

However, the truth was I cried every day, every night and especially during I took my shower. It did feel refreshing, crying while water being poured all over our body. I lied to him saying that I am fine. I try to erase my feelings for him but I cannot do it. He had become my everything.

We talked, we laughed and yes, we tried our best not to cry in front of each other throughout our video call. That was our last memory as a couple.