Stone's Diary: Kairo

Chapter 32.) What If?

The roaring of the thunder and pattering of the rain against the windows, filled the emptiness in Renae's mind as she laid in bed staring at the ceiling reminding herself that she needed to breathe. There was no pain worse than losing a child and to know that the outcome turned out to be what nobody wanted, her heart was shattered. She wasn't even sure if she still had it anymore. Yeah, she was alive but inside, she was dead. Numb. Empty. Everyone anticipated the day to be dark and gloomy, which was expected for any rainy day but it seemed as if the sun had no intentions of rising for this unfortunate day; a funeral.

There was no need for Renae to be on her phone but she knew the constant vibrating was just a result of the family checking on her but what was the reason? What did they expect her to say when today was the day that she was supposed to bury her son? The night she received the call from the hospital to tell her that her one and only son took his last breath without her presence was the day a part of her died.

Her body stiffened. Became lifeless as she replayed those words as the tears struggled with themselves, unsure if they were supposed to fall or linger alongside her lids.

Renae fell ill.

Her heart no longer beat the same. Her eyes no longer held light. No longer held hope. Joy. Happiness. Darkness found its way inside and remained there as she spent those treacherous two days staring at the wall. The news didn't register in her mind until King walked in the room looking as equally devastated as her. It was then when she could no longer hold herself up or keep her agonizing cry under control.

The earth shook under her feet as she cried to the heavens, cursing God and his angels for not protecting her ray of sunshine the way that they should have. She blamed God for stripping her away of her strength that kept her level-headed when she was going through one of the hardest moments of her life.

It wasn't fair.

Everything felt different. Nothing looked nor felt remotely real. Having to bury someone who still had so much life to live was insanely, and disturbingly eerie to Renae. Why him? Why not her? Why didn't her son deserve another chance to live? Was he not good enough? Was he not worthy?

Then it came.

Seeing so many people dressed in black did nothing but add more weight to Renae's already heavy shoulders. There were many speeches but Renae's ears no longer captured the sounds as her eyes remained fixated on her baby boy. Even in death, his aura seemed to be the only thing keeping her from falling over. The ambiance not only looked depressing but it felt depressing, even for Ava. Everywhere she looked there were no smiles, not even a smirk or chuckle; it reminded her of all those months she stuck by her father's side when he moved out...discouraging.

"Why him? Why did he have to die like this? Why couldn't he get another chance? Why God? Why would you take my best friend away from me? From us... I hate this. I wanna hate you but what good would that do? Would you take me away and reconnect me with my brother? Would you? Could you?" Those were the dreary thoughts from Ava as the tears cascaded down her face.

But then the sun rose and God spoke... "Be still and know that I am God."

But what if? What if He remained silent? What if He didn't have the final say? What if this was it? What if you got a chance to see how life would be once you were no longer living?

"I know you don't wanna hear condolences right now, but I am sorry about what happened," those were the words that spewed like vomit from Keenan's lips as a very confused Kairo stood in the back of his mom's living room, trying to figure out why nobody could hear or see him.