Stone's Diary: Kairo

Chapter 65.) Deja Vu?

It's been three days since the unnecessary altercation and although Lucky had indirectly told Ava to leave, she stayed but remained in one of the other rooms, busying herself with school work and her business. Truth was, she was avoiding Lucky because she knew things could have gone a whole lot better but she felt backed into a corner, even though he didn't mean to. Her pride was bruised and she had no idea how to manage.

She was currently outside on his back patio staring at the pretty blue water. She knew she needed to go to her mom and ask for some advice but she wasn't sure how to verbalize everything that she's been feeling. All of the recent emotions were new to her and made her feel as if she didn't even know herself. She wasn't an angry person, but damn, where did the anger come from? She wasn't violent but attacking Lucky that night opened her eyes to things she never thought would become of her.

If anyone could relate or know how she felt, she knew it was Renae, but how would she feel if Ava told her that she felt as if she loved Lucky? Was she even ready for that? Could she even call it that or was it just the idea of being in love that made her feel good?

Ava didn't feel as such though. It was scary but she did love Lucky but she just wanted, needed to know if she was moving too fast. It was funny to her though with how she could easily fix problems within the family but when it came to herself, she became stuck. She was more like her father than she thought but she also could pull out the similarities she shared with her mom.

But Lucky was right. Arguing with him over any and everything wasn't healthy and it's not something that she wanted to do but she honestly couldn't help it. She was truly a product of her environment and it seemed as if she picked up her parents good habits but also their bad and it was ruining her young life before she even got the chance to experience things fully.

Here she was, 21, finally open to dating, let alone being in the same space as a guy other than the men in her family but things were just turning out so wrong. She wanted it to stop. Somehow, someway, she just wanted things to go back to the first couple of months when she and Lucky were always laughing. Who's to say she couldn't still have that though? They were good, she knew it but lately, things were turning sour and she just wanted to rewind time and change things.

She never wanted or meant to put her hands on him. Never in a million years did she ever think that she would do the one thing that she told herself that she would never do- put her hands on a man. Could she use her anxiety and past as an excuse? Yeah, but was it right or fair to Lucky? No.

Relationships were new to her. He was new to her and if she were being honest with herself, she would admit that she honestly had no idea what she was doing. She was winging it and though it worked well in the beginning, things had turned crazy but she wanted to fix it. She liked Lucky. Everything about him. Even his bluntness. He reminded her so much of her father and she was scared to let him go.

Where else would she find someone to protect her and handle her with care the way that Lucky was doing? In life, women often dated men like their fathers or steered clear of men that reminded them of their fathers, and in Ava's situation, if a man was anything like her father, she knew in her heart, that she would never have anything to worry about. Yeah, that was scary but being with her was also scary.

People only fit in with the family if they were built for what followed behind it and just like Ava didn't want to run Lucky off, he didn't want to do the same to her.

"Baby girl?" Lucky's voice cut into Ava's thoughts.

She hadn't heard his voice in so long and she missed it. Stepping outside, Lucky walked over and stood next to her. He was quiet for a moment until he noticed a few tears that she hadn't realized were falling.