"So tell me love.. how'd you really end up here?" His left shoulder slightly touching my right shoulder as we're sat side by side. We both slouch since the benches didn't have a back support and just stare straight ahead at the stilled cherry blosso...
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TW: bullying/suicide mentioned.
Harry Styles
The winds are whispering in my eardrums telling me not to share this with anyone. I cannot stress this quite enough when I say I feel like i'm going to explode if I don't tell her about it soon. She has to know, especially since she became my best friend.
"Growing up, I was a very shy kid. I barely made any friends.. so I definitely never expected to make any life-long friends. When I was 10 years old.. that changed completely. I made the most caring, most understanding, most genuine friend ever. I really didn't think it was possible."
I clasp my hands together intertwining my cold fingers, toying around with the silver band on my right middle finger. I look down at the ring in between fidgets and then back up towards the town's lights.
"You know.. sometimes in life.. you gain friends and sometimes you lose friends.. I really didn't pay much attention to making life-long friendships before her because we were kids.. and as kids we don't really think about those things much or care about how much those things will actually affect us in the future. I never really thought anyone would ever be the kind of friend to stick by my side through the good and the bad. Until.. she came along."
I take a deep breath before continuing on with my story. Dani's eyes are watching me internally struggle to get out what it is I have to say to her. She has her hands on her knees facing me and she's patiently listening and I can't help but be reminded of her. Sometimes it feels absolutely fucking crazy that Danielle has some qualities that resemble such qualities that she had as well. She breathes gently listening to every single word that comes out of my mouth.
"Her name was Cherry."
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I bring myself to fully say her name out loud for the first time in over two and a half years. It almost felt foreign to my tongue. It just causes me so much emotional pain and distress to recall everything that happened and everything I didn't do, to stop what happened from happening. Danielle quietly squints her green eyes at me bewildered by the name I just mentioned.
"Cherry was my only friend since we were in grade 5. She changed my life because she changed my perspective on true friendship. We met during lunch on the first day of grade 5. Little did I know, that she would teach me the real meaning of true friendship along the years as we grew up together."
I inhale and exhale because the feeling of regret continuously washes over me and prohibits me from healing from all of my past. I run both of my hands through my hair and push it back, leaning forward to place my elbows on either knees.
"On the first day of grade 5, a monkey bar incident taught me a very valuable lesson. Sometimes accidents reveal who your true friends are. During lunch, I fell off the monkey bars while playing and fractured my arm in front of all the kids. Some of those kids I actually considered to be my friends, but unfortunately for me.. none of those kids including myso called 'friends' offered to help me at all. They stayed in their spots just watching me and some were even laughing at me because I had fallen.. I don't know what was so funny though because I clearly remember the pain running through my arm and I clearly remember myself laying on the ground of the school's outdoor jungle gym crying loudly and holding my arm because I was in so much fucking pain." I pronounce every syllable to make my words easier to process.