"So tell me love.. how'd you really end up here?" His left shoulder slightly touching my right shoulder as we're sat side by side. We both slouch since the benches didn't have a back support and just stare straight ahead at the stilled cherry blosso...
-play this song^ when the * shows up below to make your reading experience better. _____________________
August 7, 2020 (Almost 2 years later)
Danielle Scott
2 years.
That's how long i've been gone.
Things have been going by very quickly and I haven't had time to assimilate everything properly.
I feel so much but the only way to even process it is through my music.
Harry helped me channel everything into my music back when I was going through shit and nearly took my own life.
I filled up stacks and stacks of journals with song lyrics since I left that day on my birthday and never went back.
I packed my shit up and left that day. I went straight to a location I knew I would be surely welcomed at. I also had enough savings left over from my parent's will before they passed away to get me by for awhile longer.
I've just been spending time alone and making music, expressing my feelings through lyricism- feelings that I have pent up inside of me that have been yearning to come out.
For example, I can't stop thinking about Harry as much as I fucking try.
Speaking of, I saw some articles about how they're currently on a world tour after having finished their US tour.
It's all incredible for Harry even though i'm so pissed at him. He got more than he ever could have bargained for when he joined the show.
They ended their US tour in NYC and Hazel sent me pictures and texts telling me Jax surprised her with tickets to see them in our hometown. They weren't the closest seats of course but she said she was happy to just be able to exist in the same building as them.
I only read her texts and didn't answer her. I wasn't ready.
I tell you, as much as I hate to admit it everything revolves around Harry.
Harry once brought warmth into my previously cold heart and it's like he's now taken the warmth back.
I let him inside my heart and it's like he placed a torch inside it to light it up. Then, he blew out the torch in my heart and now there's only ashes left in the cold, dark cave that is my heart.. all in the matter of two years of friendship.
Most of my days, I think about what could've been if Harry hadn't shut me out like he did.
Did he really just wake up one day and realize he didn't want me around anymore?
That's hurtful to think about.
I have to understand that sometimes people change and he's one of them. But at the same time, it's so hard to understand why he changed.
He was literally all I had.
My best friend just isn't my best friend anymore and it fucking sucks.
I'm currently sitting on the edge of a dock at a lake, near the place that i've been staying at.
It's pretty cloudy but I love coming to the lake during cold, cloudy days because it's a special kind of mood.
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