Bitter Temptation ~ Steve Rogers

Chapter 13

(Y/N POV)
I was sitting on my phone in my room a couple of hours after Steve left. I cleaned his room up and went on my way instead of being clingy waiting.

My attention is dragged away from my phone by a soft knock on my open door. I assume it's Wanda but when I look up I see a very torn looking Steve. He's leaning against the doorway with his arms crossed.
"Hey am I interrupting?" he sweetly asks and I reply "Nope how was your meeting?". Genuinely curious.
But his whole vibe changes when I bring it up causing me to worry about the meeting that I knew involved me. Trying to keep my cool, I give him a causal confused look. He sighs loudly.

"Eventful" his tone hard to read. Steve was good at hiding his emotions. Usually I could see through his facade but there was something he was really fighting himself about telling me. I just knew it.

"y/n I have to tell you something" he starts walking into my room towards me and now I'm starting to very much freak out but still trying to hide it. "Something I should have told you a long time ago, it's just we weren't...whatever we are when I found out" he continues to ramble avoiding his point of what he was saying. "Steve just tell me". He sits down beside me and looks up with those blue eyes.

"Fury showed me your personal file before we started training to..I don't know...warn me?" he explains cautiously, his nerves painfully obvious. "I know what happened to you" he sighs his voice now full of sympathy and pity. My mind and heart is racing but my face remains blank and emotionless. I was petrified, my secret that I tried to keep to myself had finally come out and the only person I trusted enough to tell....used it against me in a way.

"Fury thinks your going to snap or something but he's only looking out for for you and the team so-" he continues to explain but I cut him off "Do you think I'm going to snap too?". My face still blank while his twists in pure pity making me mad. I hate pity.

"That's not what I'm saying" he sighs and I knew he was being honest but I just felt so exposed and open. I wasn't ready for people to know especially Steve. I was raging at Fury. Who does he think he is?
"Fury had no right! That's my past he's not allowed to spread it around like a dirty rumour! I exclaim shifting in my seat uncomfortably. "y/n...that's not what he meant" Steve tries to calm me down as he sees I'm staring to panic. But I'm too upset.

I stand up off my bed frustrated and Steve looks up at me, those beautiful blue eyes laced with worry. "Don't defend him Steve! You couldn't possibly understand with your squeaky clean record! No dark secrets huh?!" I spit venomously. I immediately wish I could take back my insensitive words when I see his hurt face. He looks down to avoid eye contact while he tries to pretend my words didn't hurt.

But I can't stop the words falling out of my mouth. "You and Fury have no right to judge me! I was young and I had no way out!" I ramble and Steve looks up opening his mouth to say something but I continue ranting. "You don't know what it's like to get hurt like that every single day! I didn't even mean to hurt him...it was an accident!" I'm now sobbing and hyperventilating reliving the worst moment of my entire life. Steve gets up and tries to console me but I couldn't stand the thought of being touched right now. So I back away from his touch.

"y/n I know that. I promise" he whispers looking straight into my eyes. His words where sincere and I wanted was for him to hold me. But embarrassed at my emotional state I pushed him away. Like I always do. I couldn't have him thinking I'm weak because of what happened to me. If anything it made me stronger. "I need you to go" I mutter trying to control my breathing. I felt so stupid letting him see me like this. He stares at me not budging. "I said go!" I snap at him. He sighs before leaving, closing the door behind him. I take a deep breath and wipe away my tears. I told myself a long time ago I wouldn't cry about him anymore. I'm better than that. I'm better than he was. He's gone now.

(STEVE POV)
I walk out of the room. Disappointed in myself. I wanted to stay and hold her. Tell her everything was going to be ok and that I'd never judge her. But I just left wanting to respect her wishes. I'd never seen y/n like that. So vulnerable. She always said emotions and feelings make people weak. But I think quiet the opposite. I think they make us human.

I walk down the stairs but stop half way considering going back and comforting her. But my feet wouldn't move. I leaned my back against the railing and pinch the bridge of my nose in frustration. I felt horrible.

Thinking about how this morning we where so happy and now we're back to square one all over again. With this out in the open I don't know if she'll ever be able to trust me again. The thought of her walking around miserable and hating me actually made me physically sick. I knew I had to give her space and time. But I don't know if our job will allow me to do that. But then again maybe that's a good thing she won't be able to completely ignore me.

I couldn't tell you how long I stayed there until I got a phone call off Sam asking me if I was busy. Needing someone to talk to I said no and told him I'd done something stupid. So he invited me over.

1038 words
Hey m'lovesSo shit went down😳 I swear you'll get to know what happened to y/n in more detail soon, just don't want to throw it all out at once.
Hope you enjoyed his chapter.
Until next time! I love you all❤️🦋